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McCain Campaign: Pictures are not fair -- clear thinking not fair

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grantcart Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 06:38 PM
Original message
McCain Campaign: Pictures are not fair -- clear thinking not fair
Edited on Wed Jul-23-08 06:45 PM by grantcart
AP Lost in Space in the Straight Gibberish Express


by Dewey Cheetham

McCain Campaign Charges Doctored Photos



The McCain continued its complaints today with the amount of Press Coverage that the Obama campaign continues to get stating that "everyone hangs on to every word that Senator Obama speaks and yet when we reiterate our well honed stump speech we can get any notice at all". Responding to queries that McCain had brought this on to himself by drawing so much attention to Senator McCain's travel schedule and making that a campaign issue the spokesman said, "Surge, surge, surge, worked, worked, worked, they don't follow our candidate, don't publish our editorials, and they aren't interested in what we have to say. It's not fair, fair, fair".

The McCain campaign opened up a new front on their attack on the press claiming that the media was doctoring photos from Senator Obama's campaign to improve his appearance on TV, "Seriously no one looks this good." They passed out examples of photos they allege were faked.

Handing out example #1 the campaign said "this is an obvious photo shop brush up - my god even Nike commercials don't look this good"



"Seriously we can compete with a Senator but who can compete with Denzel Washington - I mean even Denzel doesn't look this good without the makeup and the lighting. These pictures are digitally enhanced and everyone knows it"



"We have been tolerating this crap long enough but no more". Apparently photos of Obama with troops in Afghanistan and Iraq that showed the Senator with even better photo ops than Senator McCain have pushed them over the edge.



The McCain campaign had examples of 62,348 photos taken of Senator Obama that they said were too professionally staged to have been done without computer enhancement. The campaign was motivated in part that two make up assistants and 3 photographers have resigned with mental and emotional stress problems and all 5 have had their confidence shattered so completely that they have changed professions.

The McCain Campaign Fights Back



The campaign issued the following statement.

In the interests of fairness to the American People we are not going to let these defeatist Socialists win this election with glitz. We are fighting fire with fire. From now on Senator McCain's head and face will be painted green. All photographers and TV cameraman accredited to the campaign will have to use the following image in Computer Generated Format to superimpose the new image on Senator McCain. Restrictions in travel will be undertaken to restrict McCain's public appearances so that he will be only visible to accredited photographers and TV cameraman.

When asked what would happen when the first picture comes out with McCain in green face paint the spokesman simply stated, "We thought about that - it couldn't hurt but we have editing agreements in place with the different networks to re-edit any crap that comes out - CBS is on our shitlist because they let the unedited interview get out".


Example of Computer Generated McCain Picture
To be Used in all Future Appearances



The Next Step Making "Thinking and Memory" a Level Playing Field



One more step further McCain consultant Harrison Bergeron announced that they had developed a helmut that they challenged Senator Obama to wear. The helmut would give short electrical shocks so that Senator Obama's thinking would be slowed down and his memory would be impaired. Bergeron announced "If the Obama wants to win a fair fight then Senator Obama will wear this and the ideas will be able to compete on a level playing field - we think the American people deserve a fair test of ideas, after all the children are our future".

More Details on the theory of the helmut here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harrison_Bergeron




When a reporter happened to pass by Senator McCain getting fitted for his Green Suit in preparation for his press conference and asked him about the new photo rules he answered sternly, "Shut up you trollop - we are not a nation of whiners - you don't see us whining about every little thing do you?"
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DevonRex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 06:46 PM
Response to Original message
1. This is hilarious. LOL 62,348 doctored photos. Hee hee, "even Nike
commercials don't look this good."

I absolutely love this, Grant. Big K&R
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grantcart Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 06:47 PM
Response to Reply #1
3. thank you and apologies to Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
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DevonRex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 06:49 PM
Response to Reply #3
4. I'm sure he's laughing somewhere... :) nt
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yurbud Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 06:46 PM
Response to Original message
2. If there were more shots of Obama playing hoops, he would win over racist whites
they love sports more than they hate blacks. Otherwise, the NFL & NBA would have the same audience as frisbee golf.
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grantcart Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 08:02 PM
Response to Reply #2
9. Well yes but if we had a few shots of McCain trying to do something atheletic it would be
even better lol
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PatSeg Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 10:21 PM
Response to Reply #9
14. Well, he rode in a golfcart with GHWB
That's sort of athletic. Impressed the crap out of me! :shrug:
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bunnies Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 06:52 PM
Response to Original message
5. dude.
Until I got to the Sean Connery pic... I actually thought this was serious.

:banghead:

Nice freaking job! I love this!
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grantcart Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 07:33 PM
Response to Reply #5
8. Ol Dewey Cheetham is kind of an acquired taste
he shows up about every other day around here.


Some people just grab a headline and then post a thread about how angry they are about McCain doing something and we have to calm people down.
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phrigndumass Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 07:10 PM
Response to Original message
6. Trebeeeeekkk!!!
I'll take Anal Orgies for 500, Alex. That's Analogies, Sean.

:rofl:

At least Sean Connery wears his baldness proudly, except for on his chin. Would that be referred to as a "combunder" ??
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grantcart Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 07:16 PM
Response to Reply #6
7. I wondered who would be in with the first SNL reference lol
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BlooInBloo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 08:04 PM
Response to Reply #6
10. I want Jap Anus Relations for $1000!!!
:rofl:
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grantcart Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 08:21 PM
Response to Reply #10
11. now were getting the spirit of ol Dewey lol
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grantcart Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 10:13 PM
Response to Original message
12. evening kick
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L0oniX Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 10:16 PM
Response to Original message
13. K & R
:evilgrin:
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grantcart Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-24-08 01:20 AM
Response to Reply #13
17. thanks loonix
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Bobbie Jo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 10:26 PM
Response to Original message
15. Amazing new level of UTTER DESPERATION....
No words, just sitting here shaking my head. Oh, and.... :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
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CitizenLeft Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-24-08 01:20 AM
Response to Original message
16. you had me until the make-up artists resigned
:rofl:

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grantcart Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-24-08 02:52 AM
Response to Reply #16
19. lol thanks
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Egnever Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-24-08 01:47 AM
Response to Original message
18. They have totaly lost it!
LOL you had me going for a minute there. Great stuff

:applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause:
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grantcart Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-25-08 01:51 AM
Response to Reply #18
20. thanks lol
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