buttermilk biscuits need lard for flakiness

[SwampG8r]

as i was saying earlier the only shortening that will make a great biscuit is lard
i know you butter people are all about the creamy flavors but lard is tasteless and allows the flour.....

what the hell?
are you people STILL here?
i told you last week that GD:Biscuits needed this room back
you had a week to finish what you were doing clean the place and go
and look at this mess
goo on the walls
garbage on the floors
reputations smeared everywhere

i hope skinner got a deposit from you people
because hes gonna have to PAY someone to get rid of this mess

those of us who love GD:Biscuits had to give this room up when the primaries started
because we were a "small forum that could incorporate into GD:Baking" until the primaries ended

well heres the news
primaries are OVER
now get to scrubbing
go on a little hard work never killed anyone!

to hell with you people we had important discussions going on
if any other DU:Biscuit people are checking in i will get us started again

i love lard in my biscuits i have worked dough with all kinds of shortenings but lard always does a biscuit proud
i have nothing against butter i like it ON my biscuits just not in them

when you are through cleaning this room up
everyone can have a cookie

[PBS Poll-435]

1. You almost wrecked my Atkins

DAMN YOU.

I need cookies.

[SwampG8r]

8. cookies you need?

sealed with a kiss

[Writer]

2. swampg8r sucks for posting pictures of delicious, unhealthy food

[SwampG8r]

5. we make healthy too

[msallied]

12. I'm sorry, but I do not believe

that the road to heaven is paved in asparagus, but that it is paved in chocolate chip cookies with cheesecake for grout.

[Phillycat]

3. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GD: Biscuits! :rofl:

[The Magistrate]

4. And Heaven, Sir, Is A Pot Of Green Beans Simmered With Slivers Of Thick Bacon

Pigs....

[msallied]

10. Throw some baby red-skinned potatoes in the pot with those beans...

and some corn bread on the side, and you have my idea of dinner. Okay, and maybe some fried chicken. But it's not absolutely necessary. ;)

[SwampG8r]

15. something like.......

this?

[msallied]

17. Oh my lord. You have uncovered my weakness.

I adore mashed potatoes... and fried chicken... or chicken fried steak with sawmill gravy. Grrrr... Arteries be damned!

[SwampG8r]

24. obama could us a little gravy too

he looks a tad puny as my grandma used to say

that just means skinny in hillbilly talk

[msallied]

28. I couldn't agree more. Boy is skinny.

Don't know how he doesn't at least have a paunch going. They don't eat well out on the campaign trail.

[The Magistrate]

20. Indeed, Ma'am, One Helluva Dinner

My tastes were formed in Indiana, but the family had moved there from West Virginia. That may account for certain over-laps here....

[msallied]

23. I know exactly what you mean. Grew up in Ohio but

my mother's family is from South Carolina and Georgia. I have gravy running through my veins. lol

[SwampG8r]

11. an honor to cook for you

[The Magistrate]

16. Many Thanks, Sir: That Takes Me Back

Kitchens in my day came equipped with a jar of bacon grease, saved from breakfasts for future use. Pan-frying potatoes was a major one: I have never been quite able to create how my Aunt did it: almost char on one side and soft as boiled on the other....

[SwampG8r]

21. mine too little metal jar sat on the stove

it had a screen built in to filter crumbs out

[Maddy McCall]

18. Green beans? Give me field peas any day, sir...

with ham hocks.

:P

:D

[The Magistrate]

25. That Is Good, Ma'am, But Not So Good As Lima Beans

And of course, the big butter-beans in molasses and ketchup, with a bit of dry mustard....and of course, the hocks....

[Maddy McCall]

26. Mmmmmm....I do believe that we can agree on butterbeans.

Mmmmmm.

:9

[SwampG8r]

37. yall are hungry huh?

[Maddy McCall]

41. Better than sex, those are!

[The Magistrate]

48. Now You Have Done It, Sir: I Am Going To Have To Actually Cook Some Up

No one else in my family really likes them, so I will have to eat it all, alone....

[SwampG8r]

29. i love all peas and beans

for u maddie

[Maddy McCall]

32. Oh yeah!

That, with chicken-fried steak, and I'm in hog heaven!

:D

[SwampG8r]

36. gonna need this with your beans

[Maddy McCall]

40. I'm gonna have to leave this thread. I've put on ten pounds just reading.

By the way, I made some awesome chicken and dumplins tonight...that's my speshulty. :D

Served up with hot water cornbread, and all is right with the world.

[SwampG8r]

46. i have been cooking since i was tiny

the first thing i ever learned to make was chicken and dumplins


maddie just won my heart

[Maddy McCall]

49. I figured that you weren't too bad of a guy...

when you asked me about my dog and my birds.

I never got to discuss that with you, because that thread got locked...

So, anyway, I am the proud parent of eight turkey poults and a weimaraner pup named Rada.

I am raising those poults IN MY LIVING ROOM right now. To keep them warm and alive. I am truly, truly insane, huh?

And Rada is in my lap, watching me tap away on my laptop. She thinks the little cursor is cool. :D

[SwampG8r]

52. i try not to be too much of a jerkface

operative phrase is "too much"

[emilyg]

53. Ahhhhhhhh

Heaven.

[SwampG8r]

54. emily grab a plate

butter this nd ill get you a snack

[SwampG8r]

56. come on emily eat up

[emilyg]

67. Oh My God!

Waffle House for me tomorrow.

[msallied]

33. ooh... that made me crave red beans and rice now.

I'm dying over here. I've been sick and not eating very much, so my body is craving some soul food. lol

[SwampG8r]

39. needs a peench of salt

[deadmessengers]

42. Oh... this. This THIS

Red beans n rice with sausage.... ohhh I want... (droooooool)

[SwampG8r]

47. here you go

i made lots

[msallied]

61. You know what ELSE goes great over a bed of rice?

Gumbo... mmmmmm...

[Maddy McCall]

63. You know what my folks have growing in their garden right now...

that I just can't get enough of?

Sweet banana peppers. On the side of gumbo or butterbeans...just irresistable.

Oh, and this:




MMMMMmmmmm. Pass the Hellman's.

[SwampG8r]

64. when i was in tenn

it was blue ribbon
same company
folks didnt cotton to the hell in the name

inmy garden i hve minneola tangelo papaya pineapple 2 kinds of bananas and tomatoes

[msallied]

69. I've had 2 yards while living in Washington and neither of them have been

worth a shit for growing vegetables. I depend on the kindness and sunshine of my neighbors. Though I am gonna attempt pumpkins this year. My son is thinking he can open a pumpkin stand in our driveway come Halloween and sell our likely stunted squash for a buck a piece. 5 years old and he's already an entrepreneur. lol

[SwampG8r]

74. you probably have a pH problem

is there a county agricultural agent who can check your soil?

[msallied]

68. You're my kind of people. Seriously. I grew up on tomato sandwiches.

When they're in season and at the Farmer's Market, I go crazy. Yes, lots of mayo and cracked black pepper for me. Drooool...

[SwampG8r]

70. i still love a tomato sammich

yummmmm

[butterfly77]

83. Damn, I am so hungry now...

I know what I will be eating for dinner...

[katsy]

6. LOL

DUzY

[msallied]

7. I gotta agree, although I like a ratio of lard to butter. 3:1, specifically.

Butter adds good flavor and adds a nice golden color to the finished product. Lard makes great texture. But it sure is hard to come by true, rendered lard, so I often turn to shortening. White Lily flour is the best for biscuits if you can get it.

And while we're on the subject of lard, lard gets a really unfair rap. Pork fat is less saturated than butter, not to mention beef fat. It's not nearly as bad for the arteries as people would have you believe.

[SwampG8r]

14. you sound like you knowyour baking

split this with me and we will talk

[msallied]

22. I feel like I've died and gone to heaven.

And I'm a baking nut... Breads are my specialty. It's how my inner-scientist likes to come out and play. :) The only thing I hate working with are pie crusts. I can do it, I just don't take great pleasure out of it having to be all meticulous and careful with my baked goods, so my pies always look like something out of a high school Home Ec class. lol

[SwampG8r]

43. me too

i have a speech i give when i teach someone to make bread
it starts

every other thing you will ever cook is dead,but bread,bread is a living thing....

[msallied]

55. That is exactly right. There are few things that are so meditative for me.

Or so rewarding as watching the yeast do its work. I have a dream of one day opening a little bakery.

[eppur_se_muova]

77. What, no whale blubber? :D nt

[cottonseed]

9. Hey! There's people that are overweight here!

Posting those melty delicious yummy cookies in such splendid detail is a horrible thing to do!

;)

[SwampG8r]

13. you need a slice of cake

[Maddy McCall]

19. Before I agree, did you use lard or butter in those cookies?

Well??



































:P


:D

[msallied]

27. Well I gotta say... butter makes a better tasting cookie...

Shortening cookies do usually bake up softer and don't spread out as much. The secret, though, to chewy cookies is in using a mix of brown and white sugar and adding an extra egg yolk to the dough (since the whites promote more crispiness)...and under-baking them slightly and letting them set up on the cookie sheet for a few minutes before removing them to a cooling rack.

Damn I'm hungry now. lol

[Maddy McCall]

30. Thank god for Little Debbies.

I just grabbed a Little Debbie to snack on...we have GOT to quit talking about food after midnight in GDP.

:D

[msallied]

35. okay... I'm just going to walk away from this thread now.

Little Debbie oatmeal pies are like crack for me. lol

[Maddy McCall]

38. Swiss Rolls. And Nutty Bars.

Did I mention Pecan Spinwheels?

Mwahahahaha! :D

I know...they're like crack to me, too. :rofl:

[msallied]

57. Food is the greatest uniter of all. I just got up and grabbed a cup of yogurt.

This is my compromise. I could have went for the Nutter Butters in the cupboard. lol

[SwampG8r]

44. these were in the cabinet

you can have the WHOLE box

[msallied]

58. Gah!! You're an evil, evil person. Evil! lol

[SwampG8r]

60. so that why my eggs

always come out like this no matter how i cook them

[msallied]

62. You are truly hitting all the right buttons.

I think I'm gonna have to cook up a storm tomorrow and make my husband fall in love with me all over again. lol

[SwampG8r]

66. iv been cooking since the early sixtys and started getting payed for it mid 70s

i always tel people my dream restaurant would have a stool by the door i would sit on and when you came in i would tell you what you were having for dinner and then you would eat it and pay me lol
i would bet most people would still be happy with their meal

[msallied]

71. They really would. That's a fabulous idea. I love restaurants that

have small menus full of good, homemade food. They are hard to come by. My mom let me have the reigns in the kitchen when I was about 8 or 9. I love to cook for people, especially my folks. They're visiting at the end of the month and I'm going to have the menu for the week all planned out with recipes I've been trying out and tweaking since I last saw them.

My mom's kitchen has been outfitted with stuff I've bought for it, not only for her convenience, but so I could also cook there with ease when I visit. I just bought her an enameled cast iron dutch oven and she's in hog heaven right now. lol

[Maddy McCall]

72. I love that idea!

It would work. I seriously believe it would.

[SwampG8r]

31. shhhhhhh

in the cookies i use butter

[Maddy McCall]

34. Pssst...

I promise not to tell.

:D

[JanusAscending]

45. Ummmmmmmmmmm !!

Toll House (with nuts, I hope) Ya make me want to bake at this ungodly hour of the night. I'm drooling here!!! I'll help clean up "this mess" for a cookie. I think I'll go out and buy some lard tomorrow. It's makes the best pie crust too. Did you know that? My Gramma taught me.:9

[SwampG8r]

50. look at me im a uniter

i got everyone in here and so far no trouble
im a uniter im a uniter nah nah nah na nah
cookies for you too with nuts


as forthe lard in piecrusts you need to pose that question a GD/Pies
this is of course the biscuit forum

[JanusAscending]

97. Well.......excuuuse me !! and

Kiss my grits!!!! :hi: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: Uniter you are, now how about the damn piecrust???? You know, with the lard and all???? Geeze, ya can't get a straight answer around here anymore. I'll take those Toll house cookies(with the nuts of course) and I'll raise ya the double fudge brownies I made today!!(also with nuts) I'm just a big ole nut lover!!!:yourock: oops!... do I have to now go to the brownie forum???????

[OzarkDem]

51. Divisive people suck

Georgy Porgy Pudding Pie Kissed the Girls and Made them Cry....

On edit: Jeff Porcaro is awesome

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OczVquNilY&feature=related

[SwampG8r]

59. here you go

all are welcome in my kitchen

[OzarkDem]

65. I've Got Those Come & Go Blues

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T75YklbUXj8

[LiberalAndProud]

73. yum. cookies!

[Summer93]

75. Homemade is the best

Homemade food is alway the best. You will never be able to purchase those cookies in a store, they would sell out that day. Homemade food has fewer ingredients also. They need to put in chemicals and it spoils everything, flavor, texture, appearance, smell.

One of my favorites would have to be homemade turkey stew made with the carcess of the bird a few days after the holiday and throw in all the extra veggies and gravy - yum.

[AlCzervik]

76. have a brownie.

[SwampG8r]

84. yummy

and they already have marshmallows
mmmmmmmmm

[KamaAina]

78. Actually, for extra flakiness...

you could just leave 'em here in GD-Poo for a half-hour or so. Plenty of flakiness 'round here! :P

[PoliticalAmazon]

79. I made a sourdough starter for the first time last week...

It takes a week or s to get it going. So I started my first loaf, kneaded it once, let it rise, punched it down, kneaded it again and shaped it into a loaf. I set it to rise again.

When it was ready, I turned on my relatively new (<6 months old) convection range/oven and--it didn't work. It wouldn't light.

I had been waiting for over a week to make that loaf of bread and THEN is when it crapped out on me

I put the loaf in he refridgeratr to hold it until the repairperson could attend to my cruel oven.

I's fixed now and I finished the bread. It was the best sourdough bread I've ever tasted. Very sour, and perfect texture.

Anyway, I like biscuits just fine, but sourdough bread is better.

BTW, did you know there's a "Biscuit World""

[AspenRose]

80. ROFL

You're a trip :rofl:


**THIS IS A NO BISQUICK ZONE** :-)

[KitchenWitch]

81. This is the funniest thing I have read in here for at least a year!

:rofl:

[SwampG8r]

85. thank you

ive been running this thread in 1 form or another for 2 or 3 weeks
its always fun

[Alter Ego]

82. Biscuits? Go back to England ya stinkin' limey.

:)

[SwampG8r]

86. grumpy when you are hungry?

[madrchsod]

87. COOKIES! I WANT COOKIES!...please....may i have a cookie?

[SwampG8r]

89. of course you can

[billyoc]

88. OMFG you suck i'm starving

:spank:

[SwampG8r]

90. you are just hungry

you will feel better after this

[billyoc]

91. rofl, you're going to hell for this.

:rofl:

[SwampG8r]

92. done with your dinner?

good
since you cleaned your plate you get cake

mmmmmmm
red velvet

[billyoc]

93. You don't know how lucky you are that I live on 47th and 8th.

The Carnegie Deli is a 2 minute walk. :evilgrin:

[SwampG8r]

94. i always bet myself

they had areally good pickle there

[billyoc]

95. Yep. $6.95 ea.

:rofl:

[SwampG8r]

96. but is it worth that?

a big crunchy cold dill pickle
drool