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First of all you have to realize that you're not dealing with the "reality based" community here.
The whole point of campaigning for president is to create a false persona that ordinary Americans can relate to. George W. Bush was the master of this, I mean, the guy buys a ranch a year before he runs for President, is never seen anywhere near an animal larger or more dangerous than his dog Barney, but no one in the mainstream media challanged his cowboy cred because he wore the hat and boots with complete and arrogant bluster--and was actually able to sell it to people who did ranch and farm.
Listen to the talking heads wax nostalgic about Ronald Reagan in a bar "Oh he looked so natural" NATURAL the man was a fucking ACTOR! Of course he knew how to look natural. Did anyone ever see old Ronnie haning out in a sports bar between office terms NO WAY IN HELL!
The problem is, Barack, you're not a good actor. A great speaker, yes. A good writer, certainly. But an actor? Forget about it. Sometimes you seem to be a bit bemused about the role you're playing, teasing it--like that thing with the beer--asking whether Yeungling was some sort of fancy expensive brew. Yeah pretending to be blue collar is silly as hell but that's part of the nature of the game.
The good news is you ain't facing Ronald Reagan.
Hillary's out there now downing boilermakers and acting like the fast shootin', hard drinkin' blue collar gal that you and I both know she most definately is not. John McCain just got wacked when someone found that Cindy McCain's family recipies were actually cribbed from the Food Channel web site. Compared to these to losers you got plenty of street cred. Now start acting like it.
Now mind you, I you. You're being yourself. A highly educated, urban African-American. The problem is that you're being crucified for not being able to pull off what that blithering idiot George Bush (born in Connecticut) could do. Supress his urban persona and appear to be someone who Billy Bob from Podunk could see themselves in.
So here's a few suggestions.
1. Basketball. I just saw a clip of you on the court and man, for a middle aged politician you got game. Everybody loves an athelete. Sure you may feel that playing basketball may make you look, well, black, but trust me, no one's going to call someone who can sink a half court shot a wimp.
2. The Kids: I know you want to keep them out of the spotlight and I applaud you and Michelle for doing so but would it hurt to let America meet the girls just a bit.
3. Michelle's Mom: I read an interview with her and she was terrific. Get the mother-in-law out there--she'll set those people right.
These are authentic people who can help you to appear authentic. Have Michelle complain about how you sometimes forget to bring home stuff from the store--alright, maybe not arugula from Whole Foods--but then again--has Hillary Clinton or John McCain ever set foot in a supermarket for any purpose other than a photo op.
Finally, I don't know if you know how to ride a horse but it's never too late to learn and according to guys like Bill Richardson nothing accessorizes a Democratic politician in the western states than a good American Quarter Horse (western saddle of course). The governor of Montana doubles down with the horse AND a border collie but I'm sure you'd be able to get away with just the horse.
I'd be happy to give you lessons. Maybe it might seem a stretch for a black guy from Chicago to be a horseman. So what. I'm a cowgirl from Brooklyn. It's the attitude, man. It's the attitude.
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