BREAKING: New Scandal Rocks Obama Campaign

[jgraz]

March 17th, 2008. 12:18 pm
Troubling questions emerge about Obama campaign staff

Candidate admits several more advisors "may not be Martin Luther King, Jr."


The Barack Obama campaign said today that they were looking into new allegations that several of the candidate's campaign advisors were not, in fact, Martin Luther King, Jr. This new scandal, coming so close on the heals of My-Retired-Pastor-is-not-Martin-Luther-King-Jr-gate could spell serious trouble for Obama's bid to be Black President of the United States.

"In earlier campaigns, only the candidate was expected to be Dr. King," said Black Spokesperson Jesse Jackson. Jackson, whose own 1988 campaign for Black President collapsed amid rumors that he, himself, was not Martin Luther King, Jr., said the new requirements that a candidate's staff, family and acquaintances consist of no one but the slain civil rights leader may be difficult to overcome.

Senator Obama addressed the issue himself in a phone interview this morning. "I assure you that we take these charges very seriously," he said. "If anyone on my staff or advisory board can be shown to not be Martin Luther King, Jr., they will no longer be a part of my campaign."

Obama did not say whether he would reject or denounce such staffers. He did, however, vehemently deny rumors that he had ever laughed at a black comedian who was not Bill Cosby or listened to any black musician who was not Hootie and/or the Blowfish.


Retired Pastor Jeremiah Wright, left, shown here next to a
photograph of revered civil rights leader Martin Luther King, Jr.,
whom Rev. Wright is not.

Hillary Clinton's campaign responded with a brief statement by Chief Campaign Strategist, Mark Penn. "Enough with the math and the insurmountable leads," said Penn. "The Democratic party cannot afford to nominate a candidate for Black President who the white voters of Pennsylvania are not comfortable with."

Penn took care to downplay charges of race-baiting on the part of the Clinton campaign. "This has nothing to do with race. The people of the United State of Pennsylvania will happily support a black candidate, as long as he and all his friends, family and associates are absolutely above reproach in everything they do or say."

Penn ended his statement without taking questions, citing a previous commitment to lead the weekly Atrocity Glossing seminar at Blackwater USA.

[Debi]

1. OH NOES!!!

[Danieljay]

2. lol. First half unbelievable. Second half, under the photo... plausible. Onion?

[jgraz]

11. No Onion. Just my own twisted little mind.

But thanks for the compliment

[JerseygirlCT]

16. That's very good!

I kept looking for the link.

[shireen]

34. i LOVE your twisted little mind.

[truedelphi]

3. Oh, so now it's Martin Luther King Jr - Don't we all remember that Obama

Said his advisors would all be Jesus (if male) and the Virgin Mary (if female!)

Boy you just can't trust this guy and his promises!! (not that trusting him relates to his being black or nuthin')

[FrenchieCat]

We are all being Hoodwinked.......

Oh Noes!!!

[youngharry]

32. PLAAALLLLEEEZZZEEE

SO MUCH BULLSHIT.
BULLSHIT
BULLSHIT
BULLSHIT
BULLSHIT

WHERE ARE HILARY'S TAX RETURNS???

WHERE ARE HILLARY'S TAX RETURNS???

WHERE ARE HILLARY'S TAX RETURNS???

WE WANT TRUTH, NOT BULLSHIT!!!

[truedelphi]

61. I've given up on her tax returns.

You can't go from broke to worth more than 54 million in 72 months or less, unless something very weird went on. Selling out our ports to Dubai?? Suspicious gold mining deals in what once was Russia??

And I imagine it would be a hard sell to clear up the treachery involved in this.

[niceypoo]

65. Fishing for tax returns is KEN STARR country

When will Obama start running on ISSUES instead of digging for dirt, Ken Starr style?

[truedelphi]

77. Tax returns have nothing to do with Ken Starr. It is traditional in

American politics that since most candidates want to be seen as ready on Day One, that they have their tax returns in hand so that the public can determine how well the candidate has done, and how that scenario has been accomplished.

It's elementary politics.

[JAbuchan08]

79. No making shit up is Ken Starr territory

asking for documentation of ones earnings is SOP.

Impeaching a president for a blow-job is Ken-Starr territory, disapproving of adultery is just an opinion.

Saying Hillary killed Vince Foster is freeper behavior. Saying she mishandled health care is a reasoned opinion.

saying Hillary is too liberal is conservative behavior, saying she is not liberal enough is liberal behavior.

There's a theme here, are you getting it?

[stellanoir]

4. But will he reject or denounce Eddie Murphy and Chris Rock ?

This whole thing is way beyond ridiculous really.

One person: one mind.

One person: one vote.

If only.

[MessiahRp]

7. I Reject and Denounce Eddie Murphy

After The Distinguished Gentleman... what the hell happened Eddie? Daddy Day Care? Norbit? Pluto Nash?!?!

Please go back to being funny and tell people with family movie scripts to fuck off!

Rp

[jgraz]

13. Who doesn't?

[pauldg0]

55. Let's get John back someway...

...hey, neither has a majority of delegates....mmmmmm.

[jgraz]

57. He's not going to be the nominee

But I'm hopeful that he'll have a prominent role in the Obama administration. He's a clear fit for AG.

[pauldg0]

81. Now I'm worried about him aligning himself with Obama...

...sorry, but maybe he and Gore will align. After what has happened in the past few days, he (Gore) will not align with Obama now! Sorry but true!!!

[bdamomma]

5. this is so unfortunate that all this is happening.

this will not help us in November 2008, and we cannot afford this right now, there is no way we need another repig in the WH.

[jgraz]

30. This will be over before you know it

And the Clintons will be kicked to the curb like they should have been after 2000.

[rucky]

6. We need a brokered convention, so we can give the nomination to Al

[jgraz]

20. Roker/Walken 08?

Needs more cowbell.

[Binka]

39. Wouldn't That Make It A Rokered Convention?

[jgraz]

44. If it is, I'm Walken out

[Binka]

47. These Boots Are Made For Walken And Walken's What They'll Do

One of these days these boots will Walken all over you........HILLARY! Fun thread BTW!

[DearAbby]

8. :::Snarf:::

Shouldn't that be listening to the music of one named, Nat King Cole? or Lena Horn? Possibly Pearl Bailey....Or I KNOW>>>>DELLA REESE!



Oh yeah: just to be sure

[Major Hogwash]

9. Like a comet, Obama is burning out, falling like a rock to all the pressure.

My, oh, my. ~ poor reference to Joe Piscopo doing an impression of David Letterman

If his campaign keeps this up, they'll have to deal with Obama for 4 years.

From 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue!

Hey, look at that address - hmmm, that sounds familiar!

LoL

[youngharry]

33. Like a comet

Obama is soring like a comet. It is only Hillary supporters that want to put out propaganda and disinformation to the contrary.

[Major Hogwash]

49. Hi youngharry

Glad you could come.

[mathewsleep]

10. as it turns out, hillary staffers aren't joan of arc.

or mother theresa.

[gtar100]

59. What? No!! Am I going to have to lower my expecations again?

For me, my candidate needs to be perfect in every way. Always says the right thing, on cue...I mean, at the right time. Perfect hair, perfect teeth, a wonderful laugh, always happy but deadly serious about the economy. They are, after all, our saviors. Lord knows we wouldn't want to have to crucify them if they made us feel uncomfortable in any way.

[EVDebs]

12. The military's Operation Raindance might be revealed and bleep hit the fan

http://educate-yourself.org/ct/operationraindance.shtml

ethno-weapons ? In the USofA ? Maybe it's a good thing this gets nipped in the bud by Obama sooner rather than later !

[yellerpup]

14. Does this mean I'm out of the cult? eom

[jgraz]

60. Yes. Turn in your Kool-Aid cup at the door

[WillyT]

15. LOL !!! - K & R !!!

[Johnny__Motown]

17. So, the new standard is Martin Luther King Jr.? How many of us can measure up to that?

I dislike Penn more and more every day now

[jgraz]

18. Um... Johnny?

(It's satire)

[Johnny__Motown]

50. I know.... kidding....(kinda)

[TheDoorbellRang]

19. Oh, too funny!

K&R

[grantcart]

21. all those black people in the same OP just makes me scared all over

[redqueen]

22. Mostly hilarious...

but this:

Penn ended his statement without taking questions, citing a previous commitment to lead the weekly Atrocity Glossing seminar at Blackwater USA.

Yikes!

[jgraz]

26. You do know Penn's history and the history of his firm, don't you?

He's not exactly a boy scout.

[redqueen]

27. Yeah... that's why the 'yikes'.

It's fucking scary, thinking how cozy the neo-cons & neo-libs are.

[jgraz]

28. Ah, it's hard to get the tone of Yikes over the interwebs ;)

But at this point, I think we have to say that Hillary's officially a neocon. No "lib" necessary.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.ph...

[Orsino]

23. Heh. n/t

[EffieBlack]

24. Just wait until they find out that Martin Luther King

wasn't Martin Luther King - at least until after he died.

[alcibiades_mystery]

42. Indeed

I think we need to order about 200,000,000 copies of Dyson's "I Might Not Get There With You." In fact, I think anybody who openly uses the term "content of their character" should be required to read Dyson's book and write 2,000 words on their white privilege delusions about King's politics.

[EffieBlack]

51. You are SO right!

[NOLALady]

68. .

[helderheid]

25. I don't believe a word of it!!

[uponit7771]

29. O CRAP!!! Call Hannity!!!

[madrchsod]

31. i believe every word you just wrote

but i still believe in the easter bunny

[IndependentDem]

35. hahaha n/t

[RoadRage]

36. Nicely done! I was looking for a link to The Onion.. you should submit this! NT

[nxylas]

66. They don't accept unsolicited submissions

All their stuff is written in-house. But it should get a Duzy award at the very least.

[GoneOffShore]

37. Onion material!!!

[tammywammy]

38. Excellent work!

Very funny.

[Upton]

40. A typical Hillary supporter: it's over for Obama!

[alcibiades_mystery]

41. To the fucking racist assholes that emerged in the last week, MLK isn't MLK

They have a dream of Martin Luther King who never criticized a white power structure AS white, but only talked about peace, love, and brotherhood. To many of our openly racist DUers these days Martin Luther King (the real one) is no Martin Luther King (their Afternoon Special version).

[jgraz]

46. Amen. IF MLK were around today, they'd be rejecting and denouncing him

[hay rick]

43. time to scramble

MLK is dead I tell you.

Plan B: Jerry Falwell in blackface.

Oh, shit! McCain wrapped him up months ago. Now what?

[jgraz]

45. Huh?

I have no idea what you are trying to say, though a number of possible interpretations are troubling, to say the least.

[nolabels]

58. Or just some more hilarious satire

Kind of made me hungry for something spicy even

Sensors detect excellent carne asada burrito
http://www.chowhound.com/topics/405571

[LordJFT]

48. k&r

[DeadElephant_ORG]

52. k&r

[4_Legs_Good]

53. LMAO

Fantastic, just fantastic!!



Thanks!!

David

[Armstead]

54. I am Spartacus....But I'm not MLK

But I'm not MLK

[boppers]

56. "Hootie and/or the Blowfish"

K&R

[JustinL]

62. great satire!

[Ken Burch]

63. Good one.

About a million DU'ers were within a millisecond of flaming you until they read the text, I'm guessing.

[roseBudd]

64. Obviously Wright is light skinned & has gray hair but I say they have the same eyes

[beezlebum]

67. thank you for bring yet another obamaian scandal to light1

1st he has the nerve to be too black for his pastor to express those views of his, now this! how will he ever regain the white supremacist vote?! unelectable!!11!!1!!

[tbyg52]

69. Oh, I *did* need a laugh this morning - thanks! nt

[tbyg52]

70. Oh, I *did* need a laugh this morning - thanks! nt

[JBoy]

71. LOL! Very well done, jgraz.

[liam_laddie]

72. Hilarious...K & R

Almost snorted my All-Bran Original. Some advance notice would have helped.

[Overseas]

73. Wow I didn't realize the Clintons' circle are all ABSOLUTELY ABOVE REPROACH

You have GOT TO BE KIDDING, Mark Penn. ABSOLUTELY ABOVE REPROACH-- just like you are, huh? God bless you my son. Or perhaps you've all been saved and purged of all your sins?

LET HE WHO IS ABSOLUTELY ABOVE REPROACH CAST THE FIRST STONE. I guess that was Bill in South Carolina, eh?

[jgraz]

74. Um...Overseas?

(it's satire)

[uponit7771]

75. He may night be MLK but he has the same leading tone and demeaner of MLK and people can see that now

[Raejeanowl]

76. I Trust This Is Just Poor Satire n/t

[jgraz]

80. Satire? What was your first clue?

Perhaps all the the responses calling it satire?

[AntiFascist]

78. ********** BREAKING HILLARY SCANDALS !!!!1111!!1! **********

Many of her campaign donors represent special interests!

[Oilwellian]

82. ROFL..look at all the hits this thread has taken

Can't you just picture the salivating, crazy-eyed republicans (& some Clinton supporters) just drooling and pissing all over themselves to come in here and masturbate? VERY funny jgraz!

[kelligesq]

83. Should be a picture of Farrakhan next to Wright, not MLK . :)

[Stephanie]

84. Too too too too too funny!

[DeadElephant_ORG]

85. I read this this morning and giggled about it throughout the day

[bluedawg12]

86. The Barrackobama is comming!

Book of Barrack
make way his path you people.