After work the other day

[1awake]

I stopped by the hospital where my grandfather has been for afew days. He has been ill on and off for a year now. Sometimes he knows who's there.. and sometimes he doesn't. This day, I took the elevator up to the 8th floor and walked into his room. He was holding an empty Styrofoam cup.. looked up at me, and asked for some water. He hasn't been able to get out of bed for several months. It hurt me seeing him like this.. the man who stepped in to the father role when I was 10 when my bio dad got caught cheating on my mom, and his.. discipline methods became more visible. The man laying there raised me from age 10.
I sat my things down and took the cup from him. It's not possible to give him regular liquids because he will choke, so I needed to put special powder in it to change it's consistency. I spied a small plastic container of orange juice on his dresser so I mixed up the powder, water, and half of the orange juice to give it alittle more flavor. He can not feed himself so I went and found a spoon, sat down on a chair next to him, and started to feed him. Memories of years of care he provided me.. everything I am today is due to him. I can say, without a single doubt in my mind, this frail man who I sat there and fed, was probably the greatest man I ever knew. A simple man of sorts, he served his country in WWII. He served his country before even that through the CC camps where the young men (teens) were shipped to California to fight fires and build roads. He was a Steel Mill worker, raised two children, then raised 3 grandchildren.
I tried to talk to him while feeding him.. small talk really. He really seemed to like the orange juice I added. He finished half the cup and seemed to not want anymore. I continued to talk to him, though after afew minutes, his mind appeared to have wondered again. This is something that had developed over the last year.. sometimes he's aware of everything and communicates well, and other times.. he's non responsive. I talked louder to him to see if he would hear me.. and I got up and walked around him some to see if it would catch his attention.. both to no avail. I sat back down and stayed with him for about another hour, still talking to him.. mostly about my kids and things they were up to. It was getting late, so I started to get up and stopped. It occurred that over the years, though we loved each other very much and both knew it, we never really said it to each other. I paused, then told him that I loved him very much. I then left the hosptial.
It was later that evening, maybe 4 hours later.. I got a call from the hospital. They advised we needed to get there as soon as possible because "the situation has changed". I asked them if my grandfather had died.. there was a pause, then they nurse repeated "the situation has changed". I made some calls and departed. My grandfather died that night 2 days ago. The man who raised me, who taught me all that I know, is gone. The only thing that made it alittle easier was really two thing.. the first, he had been in alot of pain for a very long time and now it was over.. and the second, his daughter/my mother had died afew years ago and he greatly missed her, so the thought of them being together again is a good one.

I tell you this story for two reasons I guess. The first, I truly needed a way to put some of my thoughts and feelings, even in this small way down to get them out. The other is, he taught me loyalty to people before all else. He said, when you find someone who seems to have a good heart, passion, and honor, stand by them.. even if they don't always fall in line with what you believe.. especially if they do not. That these traits are rare and should be cared for and protected. And thats what I guess I'm saying to you all here. So many people here need to remember what is important. The party belongs to the people.. the people do not belong to the party, or the candidate. You do not tear apart the base of a structure and expect for it to remain strong. Please, be loyal to each other.. even before your loyalty to the party, and before your loyalty to the candidates. If we would consistently see the things that are really important, most of the issues here would have never occurred.

Some of you may have found this thread lame, or silly, or even rambling, and if thats the case I am sorry. But like I said, I needed a venue, and as always, I felt the need to try and draw us together.

peace.

LK

[Swamp Rat]

1. .

[CaliforniaPeggy]

2. My dear 1awake...

How good that the last thing he heard from you was that you love him...

His body is gone, true...

But he will live on, inside you...

Whenever you need him, all you need to do is look, and he'll be there...

That which is remembered, lives...

My deepest condolences to you and your family on your loss...

[Steely_Dan]

3. Your Post...

was one of the best I have read here in a long time. It brought a tear to my eyes.

Indeed, we must remember what is important. When I think of the grand scheme of things...the important things, I see that what happens here on this board does not add up to much.

Just remember my friend...it is merely a passage.

Thank you for your post.

-P

[blogslut]

4. They never really leave us

That will be a great comfort some day.

Bless you and yours and the memory of your Grandfather.

[sorrybushisfromtexas]

5. Not lame at all.

We need to be drawn together. I am a Christian, a husband, a father,brother, a human being, an American, a teacher, a liberal,
a Democrat, an Obama supporter, a Texan, and really angry for the negativity on this site.

We do need to pull together, but hardly anyone wants to try.
I have last both of my parents in the last few years. I was at my Dad's bedside, and had just left for home when Mom died. It is hard to lose such important influences on our lives. However I still have what they taught me, which is love for all, forgiveness when needed, and passion for the downtrodden.

I share your pain, and appreciate your thoughts.

Peace,

JP

[calimary]

8. Welcome to DU!

Can I quote you? We DO need to pull together.

Shared experiences like this certainly help.

Glad you're here! And I'm glad we're here for each other.

[sorrybushisfromtexas]

10. Sure you can.

Longtime lurker, short time poster, a monetary supporter for about 2 years.

[lligrd]

6. It Was A Wonderful Post

and something we all needed to hear.

So sorry about your grandfather but so glad you got to tell him you loved him one last time. I'm sure he knew it but was pleased to hear it.

[calimary]

7. Thank you so much for allowing us to share in this experience.

Many DUers have posted thoughts and recollections here when one of their loved ones makes the jump to lightspeed. It always nourishes the soul to read and reread them. Makes us think, and appreciate our shared humanity, and marvel at our own dear ones, and those here on DU. It's another kind of family here.

It's deeply moving and exquisite to be invited into your thoughts on this very emotional and intimately transitional time for you. My condolences, 1awake. When my mom died, I posted a brief note about it here late that night. The responses and the sympathy and the comfort and the comraderie I got from people here kept me going, and kept me warm, through some difficult moments at that time. It really did make me feel as though they all had my back. I hope you get that same feeling here, from this. 'Cause they all have YOUR back also.

[Honeycombe8]

9. Nice post. A bit of a calm, cool oasis in the midst of all the heat. Thx. n/t

[CitizenLeft]

11. beautiful post, very moving

I like how Calimary described it as "makes the jump to lightspeed."

And beautifully written - your love for each other shines through and leaps right off the screen. Bless you both.

[donheld]

12. Thank you for sharing.

[elleng]

13. Thank you,

and Peace.

[Whisp]

14. I like you.

[WillYourVoteBCounted]

15. sorry for your loss - your message is a tribute

to the upbringing that your Grandfather provided.

He is not suffering any more, and can move on knowing that he raised you well.
That is the greatest blessing any parent (or grandparent) can hope for.

[grantcart]

16. I am sure your kind words were a great comfort to him in his last moments

Craig

[1awake]

17. ....

“Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.”

- Norman Cousins



"Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world's grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it."

- Talmud

[ClayZ]

18. Sorry about the loss of your Grandfather.

Thanks for the reminder to keep principles in front!


Blessings to you and your family.

[LiveLiberally]

23. Thank you for sharing your loss with us /nt

[dhill926]

19. wow, what a great post...

thanks. and best to you and your family...

[peace13]

20. Thank you for posting this.

Thank you for sharing these thoughts. Peace and love to you, Kim

[Summer93]

21. Rejoice that you knew him

Thank you for sharing this with us. We all needed this at this moment. You gave him what he needed from you the last time you were with him, a short drink and your love spoken when he needed to hear it. This is what someone gave me after my Mom died and it has helped me - Rejoice that you knew him!

[City Lights]

22. Wonderful post, 1awake.

So sorry for your loss. Cherish your memories.

[1awake]

24. ty

Thanks everyone for the kind words and support.. it means alot to me.

[roguevalley]

25. I am sorry, honey, for the loss of your darling grandpa. Grandparents

are so wonderful. My mother died this may and my pa ten months before that. They were and always will be my rock, my focus and my heroes. I thought I couldn't go on and spoke to a sensitive. Among the things she told me over an hour, all of which were intensely detailed and correct was that my mother heard me tell her that I loved her and would always. She couldn't answere me, Laurie said, but she heard every word. She said it helped her pass into the next life with a sense of peace and joy that she couldn't describe. you did right by your grandpa as he did right by you. Know he is by your side every day and all you have to do is watch and listen and he will let you know.