McCain is not a "weak-minded coward who had escaped death by collaborating with the enemy."

[mikelewis]

McCain has never slept with a strap-on wearing prostitute named Lola Fraridgida... a.k.a. James Guckert.

McCain is not a Bush yes-man... in fact he's a Maverick who just so happens to totally and completely agrees with Bush... purely coincidentally.

McCain is not nor has he ever been openly pederast... Of course, neither was Foley.

McCain did not have his penis removed by a bomb in Vietnam and he never contracted herpes from a Laotian man-servant name Ki.

McCain is not fat and he does not smell funny.

McCain has all his teeth... (in a jar over his mantle). On a similar note, Senator McCain has even managed to amass the largest dried scab collection that side of the Mississippi... though he seldom likes to brag.

McCain never pretends he's giving fellatio by inserting a full sized microphone into his mouth and moaning suggestively.

McCain does not wear adult diapers and those shit stains were on the underwear when he bought them...

McCain is not feeble-minded... he is not doddering... he is not deceitful... he is not disrespectful... he is not a "weak-minded coward who had escaped death by collaborating with the enemy" as the Bush campaign tried to make him out to be in 2000.

But the question I have to ask... if his own party believed this about him in 2000... why on Earth are they running him in 2008? Do they have that low of an opinion of the Democratic Party that they would resurrect the Biblical Ham, dress him in adult diapers and send him against us as our new Feurer? Do they think their fancy electronic vote rigging and election tampering can force the thick and meaty McCain down our throats? What devious and despicable plan do they have for our total domination? And most importantly... Do you want fries with that?

I only ask the last question because when your job has been outsources to a slave labor camp in Bangladesh and we're still in Iraq 100 years from now and Congress Critters are still raping pages and calling it "paying dues" and we are still being wiretapped and we are still torturing the innocent to get to the possibly guilty and everything that was good and decent in this land is leveraged to the rich and hateful... I ask if you'd like fries with that because this is what you'll be asking the people out the window as you try to raise a family on $7 an hour when McCain becomes President.

I've had a lot of fun watching the pre-election show but frankly... I don't give a shit if the Democratic Candidate is Hilary or Obama... I don't care... just give me a fucking candidate already!!! The Republicans are moving ahead... they are laying plans... they are desperate to hold onto power and we are still bickering about which amazing candidate is more amazing... honestly... I can't stand it any longer. When we finally choose a candidate, Bush and his minions will strike with the devil's own thunder... they are going to hit hard and vicious... they are going to turn patriots into traitors and traitors in paragons of virtue and yet we still prattle and debate over which candidate is more amazing than the other. My dear Democratic party... it's time to get your shit together and get serious about winning the Real election... before you fuck this up and we get to listen to 4 years of why all of McCain's good ideas sound so much like Bush's good ideas... only better.

[Occam Bandage]

1. ...to the best of my knowledge. I take him at his word.

[yellerpup]

2. As far as I know..I have no reason to dispute you.

[olkaz]

3. I like this post a great deal.

And applaud your efforts in defending an American hero.

[tridim]

4. "Eight year olds Dude."

[olkaz]

5. "Shut the ^*&^*&^ up, Donny."