A Californian to the Candidates: Leave Christmas ALONE

[sniffa]

It started with Mitt Romney's mitts, during his big "Faith in America" manifesto, in which his faith of choice, Mormonism, was not extensively addressed. But then the Reverend Huckabee stepped up, riding on the coattails of his own recent debate "charm offensive" - and issued a campaign commercial wrapped in Christmas paper. Pundits recognized fairly quickly the subliminal image-message visible over his shoulder. Seemingly an innocuous well-lit bookshelf, it was clearly a cross. Okay if you're voting for parson or patriarch, but this is president we're talking about.

First, Mitt. What do you think this is? Salt Lake City on steroids? Who do you think you are? Jack Kennedy? A bunch of us were inspired by this episode to channel the late, great Lloyd Bentsen in his memorable debate with Bush 1's running mate, the hapless, brainless, clueless Dan Quayle. It was memorable for one exquisite retort sparked by Quayle's audacity to compare himself to JFK. Bentsen looked over at him and retorted "I knew Jack Kennedy. Jack Kennedy was a friend of mine. And you're no Jack Kennedy." You aren't, either, Reverend Former Governor Romney. Give it up NOW.

I would ask Candidate Romney if he wouldn't mind throwing open the doors of any Mormon tabernacle so those of us who want to make truly informed decisions next November can see inside. As far back as my high school comparative religion class, I can remember feeling an instinctive resentment upon being told by a couple of young visiting Mormon missionaries that we non-Mormons were not allowed to tour their church. Why not? What - are we unclean or something? We Catholics let you in just about anywhere except the parish priest's bathroom. You can come into any Catholic church and plunk yourself down in the front row if you want to. Not here, it seems. Romney's fellows do want our time and our donations and our acceptance but they offer little in exchange except secrecy and exclusivity. And they claim, as Romney would reassure us, to worship the same Jesus Christ that everyone else across all Christendom does. And yet the vast majority of us who share that overriding view would still be locked out. Oh yeah, I forgot. We get a consolation prize: a "Visitor's Center." Enough with the ultra-exclusive secret-society stuff that most of us aren't allowed into. We've already head more than enough of that for the last seven years with Bushco, Mitt. Especially when it's been paid for with all of OUR taxpayer dollars, and that includes the tax dollars of all the millions of non-believers here, too.

As long as we're considering the Mormon credo, I would like to hear Romney explain away how his religion mandates that all Mormons obey the dictates of their church patriarch, OR ELSE. Regardless what they themselves do for a living and how many shots they call, and whether they're public servants paid via tax money. He cleared the air about very, very little of his chosen religion. We still don't know a whole lot about Mormonism. Maybe that's the point. And can we discuss that "I'm just SAYING..." remark by a pseudo-innocent Mike Huckabee, who wondered aloud whether it's really true that Mormons believe Jesus and Satan were brothers. How 'bout it, Mitt (she said, already knowing the rather eyebrow-raising answer to that one). Go ahead. Make my day. Hint: he won't touch that one with a ten-foot bottle of hair shellack. He doesn't DARE open that Pandora's Box. You, on the other hand, can. Have some fun. Google it and see what you think.

That brings us to the Reverend Former Governor Huckabee - he of the "aw-shucks" persona - "he's SO real! So genuine! Authentic, and approachable, and so totally regular-guy. So comfortable in his own skin! (And by the way, what on earth is THAT supposed to mean when applied to extra-ambitious and ultra-coy political candidates?) Why, he's so down-home you could go have a beer with him! Never mind what kind of world-class catastrophe came down upon all our heads the last time millions of Americans fell for an aw-shucks regular-guy (and alcoholic) with whom one could easily see oneself having a beer. To Huckabee goes the Nobel Prize for obnoxious Christmas commercials. If I wanted to be preached to, I'd go back to Mass on a regular basis. If I wanted to vote for Pope, provided they ever let us unranked, commoner Catholics do so, I would. This is an election for President of the United States. Last time I looked, that was a secular position. We're not talking First Minister here. They don't even call our second-tier administration officials "ministers" in the first place. They're Cabinet Secretaries and agency directors. There's no Minister of Anything. You don't get to be the titular head of the church unless you're the crowned sovereign of England. That doesn't apply in this country.

http://www.californiaprogressreport.com/2007/12/a_californian_t.html

Chris Crocker lives on.