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Here is something a friend e-mailed me today. Enjoy!

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Home » Discuss » Archives » General Discussion: Presidential (Through Nov 2009) Donate to DU
 
rumpel Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-05 12:29 AM
Original message
Here is something a friend e-mailed me today. Enjoy!
Dear President Bush,

Congratulations on your election victory and for doing so much to educate

people regarding God's Law.

I have learned a great deal from you and understand why you would propose

and support a constitutional amendment banning same sex marriage. As you

said: "in the eyes of God marriage is based between a man a woman." I try
to

share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to

defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that

Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination... End of debate.

However, I do need some advice from you regarding some other elements of

God's Laws and how best to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female,

provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine

claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify?

Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus

21 :7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for
her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her

period of menstrual uncleanness - Lev.15:19-24. The problem is how do I

tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a

pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1 :9. The problem is my neighbors. They

claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2.

clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill
him

myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an

abomination - Lev.11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I

don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

7. Lev.21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a

defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my

vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair
around

their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How

should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me

unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different

crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two

different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse

and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble
of

getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we

just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people

who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy
considerable

expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging
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mordarlar Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-05 12:34 AM
Response to Original message
1. FABULOUS! may i repost this on a differant message board?
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rumpel Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-05 12:36 AM
Response to Reply #1
3. certainly
:hi:
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mordarlar Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-05 01:42 AM
Response to Reply #3
7. thank you. : )
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cry baby Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-05 12:35 AM
Response to Original message
2. My favorite post of the day - and I've been reading for hours!
Thanks for the laugh, rumpel!!! :evilgrin:
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rumpel Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-05 12:36 AM
Response to Reply #2
4. welcome, thought we all needed it!
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NYC Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-05 12:41 AM
Response to Original message
5. Thank you.
I have emailed it.
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illflem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-05 12:48 AM
Response to Original message
6. That email has been circulating for a couple of years
and believe it or not the fundies have a way of refuting every statement.
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