How I Learned To Stop Worrying, Stop Caring and LOVE REPUBLICAN IDEAS!!!

[Beetwasher]

I will immerse myself in loving their ideology! More tax cuts PLEASE!!!! More debt PLEASE! My grandchildren (not yet born, children too for that matter) don't OWE enough yet!!!

Kill KILL KILL!!!! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!

Thank you oh great sirs! May I have another beating!! Yessssssssss, daddy, yesssssssssssss!!!! Praise Jaysus!!!!!!!!!

See, I learns good...

It's all in the name of unity and healing.

"Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose"

[BeHereNow]

1. Yes, yes, I FEEL it!

The newborn compassionate conservative unity
in my soul makes me want to go kick the crap
out of a homeless person!
Maybe I can find some UNconvertered filthy libruls
to spit on too!
I love my sense of newfound unity Mr. Kerry!
What a great suggestion, thanks!
I am going to call all my gay friends right NOW
and warn them to pack their bags before I come
over to visit them with my new compassionate friends...
Unity for all! What time is Rush on Mr. Kerry?
I need to learn how to get along with hate mongers
and I understand listening to Rush is the perfect
place to start!
FUCK YOU KERRY.
I will NEVER unify with racists, bigots and IGNORANT
slobs.
bhn

[Beetwasher]

3. That's The Spirit!

Dive deep into it and relish the FREEDOM of a truly black soul!!!

[BeHereNow]

5. Ooo- I can feel the black tar oozing

out of my heart!!!
Can my soul be far behind?
Where do I get my copy of The Passion?
Wheee, it's fun to have unity with SATAN!
YIPPPPEEEE!
To hell with the rest of the world and humanity!
Oh Mr. Kerry- THANK YOU for the suggestion!!!
It's FUN to hate!
bhn

[NEDem]

2. self delete

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

4. I'm thinking I'm going to do that too

I'm going to try to figure out how to be a bigot. Can't be too hard.

[Maiden England]

6. yeah a bunch of people seem to have got the hang of it

[Beetwasher]

8. Just Let If Flow!!!!! Jump On In, The Waters Fine!!!!

Feel the hate! It's quite refreshing, liberating and exhilirating! Sorta like a nice luke warm Tab.

Say it with me:

Abortions are BADDDD!!!! I gots mine so FUCK YOU!!

See, it's not so hard!

[BeHereNow]

10. Since I have followed the wise advice of Mr. Kerry

let me give you some tips!
Firstly, go buy yourself some bleach and dye your hair
blonde!
Get some blue contact lenses while you are out too.
If you are not white, I have the number of a GREAT
plastic surgeon! You'd be surprised what they can do these days!
Locate the area that your local homeless hang out in and
buy a baseball bat- (wink-wink)
Make a list of your filthy neighbors sporting anti-war stickers
on their fuel efficient cars, remember that baseball bat?
(wink-wink)
Find your local Fundie church and find out what time
they gather to listen to Rush in your area.
Be SURE they offer a bible study in denying the Grace of God
promised by the New Testament. The TRUE Believers are
easy to find- they have ripped the New Testament out
of their in house copies, and only study the truly bloody
parts of the Old Testament. (Crusades and such)

Hope this helps!
In Unity,
BHN

[Beetwasher]

11. Great Advice!

May I also recommend blocking out every channel on your TV except for Fox news...

[BeHereNow]

13. Already done! BUT you forgot...

the first channel on your tv everyday to watch
is Trinity Braodcasting Network!
DON'T block that one!
Only TBN and Fox are needed though!
In unity,
bhn
Oh, oh, the leader led by GAWD is coming on now-
gotta run to tune in and await his instuctions on who
to hate today!!!!

[eriffle]

7. those libruls

want to taint our precious bodily fluids

ok enough dr. strangelove

[Beetwasher]

9. You Can Never Have Enough of the Good Dr!

Thank you sir, may I have another!!

[Borgnine]

12. Yeah, that's what Kerry told us to do.

Fuck that spineless wimp. He left his courage back in Vietnam Apparently, Edwards is pissed off right now. I guess we know who has the true ideals of that ticket.

I'm never going to embrace these facist assholes. They'll have to pry my ideals from my cold, dead hands.

[BeHereNow]

14. Take a DEEP breath and tune in to our leader of hate!

GAWD is going to use him to tell us who to hate today!
come on, give in, join us in UNITY like Mr. Fairy suggested.
You'll like it, it is FUN to hate in unity!
bhn

[RedEarth]

15. Oh this is fun.....

I feel so much better...now I can hate the welfare people, those lazy bastards, get a fucking job!....oh, those Medicaid loafers....pray for healing you sinners....praise jeeeeeeeeesus!....oh those tree huggers, their mind is warped by science.....not me anymore...I think I'll just dump a bucket of oil on the ground just for the freedom of it!!!!!!

[bloom]

22. Don't forget to hate all of the Arabs, the French and all of those other

fereners.


Freedom (hate) Fries for Everybody!!!


:nopity:

[Beetwasher]

24. Just Like a LIBERAL!!!! You Forgot POLAND!!!!!

Now where's my gun?

[BeHereNow]

33. No, No! don't waste a bucket of oil!

Save it to dump in the soup pot at your local homeless
shelter! Don't forget to take your shiny new baseball bat with you!
In unity, as advised by Mr. Kerry.
Isn't it fun to be a servant of Satan?
bhn

[flygal]

16. Give me the NRA's number - I'm joining up!! yeeee haawwww!

[Beetwasher]

21. How Could I Have Been So BLIND FOR SO LONG!!!!!

I'm seeing the world with new eyes. I need guns. Lot's of guns. Preferably with grenade launchers. Armor piercing bullets might be nice too!

Now where's my bible! I gots me some HARD prayin' to do!

[IrateCitizen]

17. Yes! Embrace the hate! Let its soothing nature run through you!

What was that comment you had about hate being as fulfilling as a warm Tab, Russ?

[Beetwasher]

19. It's REFRESHING, LIBERATING and EXHILIARATING!!!

Kind of like a luke warm Tab...:evilgrin:

[Greyskye]

18. Ah hell. As a new 700 Club member - AMEN!

Crap.

[smirkymonkey]

20. "Republicans who hate Democrats, and the Democrats who

Love Them."

[kimchi]

23. Maybe we should have a class to deprogram the liberals!

Gays, liberals, Muslims--they can ALL be converted if we pray hard enough and hold them down!

I can't WAIT to invade Iran--ooo, ooo, lookat that bomb exploding and body parts flying! Tax cuts for the rich and large corporations, and I'd LOVE to have me some GM food that glows! Thinkin' 'bout taken a cruise to the ice caps to watch them break off and melt too!

Forget full moon circles; I'm joining any church that speaks in tongues and handles snakes. Cause when the rapture comes; I ain't bein' left behind!

LETS KILL SOME GAY LIBERAL MUSLIMS FOR JESUS!

(no offense to real Christians)

[Beetwasher]

26. I'm Purging My Mind of Filthy Science As I Type!

Nuthin' but the bible for me from now on! All the answers can be found in the bible!!!!

Now, I'm off to stone me an adulterer!

[BeHereNow]

35. Now HOLD ON Brother Beet!

MAKE SURE ya burn the pages of the New Testament
part of yer bible first! Ya don't want to confuse the
doctrine of hate with the doctrine of Grace.
Grace is so..."old Europe" like an all.
Hate, hate, hate!
I'm gonna go pray that you find a homeless person
to kick now..in Jeebus name! Ah-man!
In unity,
Sistah BHN

[Beetwasher]

37. Kick Him? I'd Prefer to Beat Him With My Bible

While prayin real hard like!

[BeHereNow]

41. Tie yer Bible to yer Bat Brother Beet!

And whack away!
In Unity,
Yer Ig'nernt Sister In Satan
bhn

[Radio-Active]

25. I love Big Brother

[AbbeyRoad]

27. 2+2=5

Yeah, sometimes I think it would just be easier to cave in to the doublethink. I suppose the only thing preventing me is the fact that I have a functioning brain and an intact conscience. You'd think being a woman and a minority might get in the way too, but it doesn't seem to prevent some people.

[Beetwasher]

30. A Woman You Say? A Minority? Pffffft! You Now Have An AMAZING ROLE MODEL!!

You should strive more than anything to be like Condi Rice, god bless her soul!!!

If she can do it, SO CAN YOU!!!!

Just let it go. It's easy, you'll see! Give in to the darkness that is inside you, let it bubble up and flow over you. It feels GREEEEEEEEEEEAT!!!

Have you ever had shingles? It's sort of like that.

[arwalden]

28. Yeah!!!! Who's Your Daddy???

Let me hear you holler!! Squeal like a pig, boy! Take it!

[Beetwasher]

32. By The Time I'm Done With YOU Boy

You'll be a bible thumpin', jeezus lovin', straight accountant!!!! Got that! We'll beat that homo stuff out of you if we have to!!!

:evilgrin:

[neomonkey]

29. That is a riot beet, this morning while I was making my coffee

I thought the exact same thing you posted. I chuckled about it, I'm amazed we both had the same idea. LOL.

[wiggs]

31. All you have to do, Yossarian, is like us. nt

[Beetwasher]

34. Don't Fight It!

It only prolongs the pain of not belonging to the winning side.

Be a WINNER!! I'm telling everyone I voted for Bush and I'M DAMN PROUD OF IT!!!

I gots mine, fuck everyone else!

[Tiberius]

36. Red Pill, Blue Pill

Pass the kool-aid around, I'm through with this shit. Drink up!

[JohnDoe1]

38. Yes Dr. Strangelove

Or should I say Dr. Bible?

[Beetwasher]

40. Halleluah!

Call me Ishmael...

[jus_the_facts]

49. Hey Ishmael........

*thinks immoral thoughts* :evilgrin:

....lalalalalalalaaa....oh riiiiight....I don't HAVE any thoughts of my own anymore....lalalalala...


:hug: :* :loveya:

[Beetwasher]

50. Hey Sweetie!

Grab a bible and join the fun! :hi:

[jus_the_facts]

51. I tore my bible to shreads in January of 2001.....

....after I had a psychotic episode over the sElection....the TRUTH isn't settin' a mutherfucker FREE is it....SIGH! :cry:

[BeHereNow]

53. Don't fergit yer bat!

Me an Brother Beet welcome ya!
in unity,
yer sister in Satan,
bhn

[kwolf68]

39. Now your'e talking

Bibles for all of us…and if you don’t accept we gas you. The Coulter dream of Liberal executions will be a reality.

Socialists, gypsies, and gays will be sent to re-education camps and will be treated to vignettes of Saint W. If they rebel, its death.

Bring on imperialism. Since we have selfless purveyors of all that’s right in the world (Defense Contractors) providing all the munitions we need, we can continue to kill people, intimidate them and take their shit.

Welcome Manifest Destiny. God has spoken. Pat Robertson’s crowd now runs the most powerful nation with the most power military on earth. Let the effing Holy War commence.

Give me fewer taxes, cripple the government, sell off Yellowstone to Wal-Mart and Pepsi Cola, turn the Grand Canyon into a mosh pit for Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh…Screw clean air and clean water…Global warming is a myth and scientists are pariahs doing the bidding of a Pagan society…they must be exterminated.

I love it. Give me an ideology that is about ME, MYSELF, and I. Toss in some anti-government paranoia and some guns hanging on a crucifix and you have heaven on earth. Rejoice in our age of greed, materialism, unbridled destruction, war mongering, and profiteering. Usher in your messiah by promoting all that got him nailed to the cross you fucking hypocrites.

[Beetwasher]

42. Oh, That's Good!

Yes, REJOICE Brother! You've got it! Revel in it! Would god have made it any other way if it wasn't supposed to be thus? Embrace the darkness, it becomes you!

[BeHereNow]

43. Put HIM on the radio!

I am gonna send him his very own bat and bible!
After I rip the pages our of the New Testament part of course.
In unity,
yer ig'nernt sister in Satan,
bhn

[Beetwasher]

44. I Especially Like The Guns Hanging From A Crucifix

I gotta get me one of those!

[BeHereNow]

46. The word is spelled "GIT" Brother Beet...

"I gotta GIT me one of those..."
Pay attintshun now Brother Beet, or I'll
have to whack you too!
In unity,
yer ig'nernt sister in Satan,
bhn

[Beetwasher]

48. Ooops!

Yer right...Must flagellate myself now!

[kwolf68]

60. Praise the lawd

Hallelujah…Praise Jesus….The Lord, my savior, has delivered us from hatred, intolerance, exploitation, greed, bigotry, selfishness, death, vengeance, revenge, war…Oh wait!!!

In 3 years we will have SUVs getting 2 miles to the gallon and the Bush economy will be roaring like gangbusters…so much so we’ll be able to put that addition to Arlington National Cemetery we’ve been talking about.

[BeHereNow]

63. Addition? What addition!

Fer yer informashun, we are going back to the plan
of bull dozing bodies into mass graves!
Don't ya remember that plan?
We don't want them dupleted uranium bodies
shipped back to our nayshun!

However... if the contract to build the addition could
be given to Halliburton, we might reconsider.
Got yer bat bible yet?
in unity,
yer ig'nernt sister in Satan,
bhn

[bloom]

45. You know we can't all be CEOs and make 500+ times

what everybody else makes - so we'll have to think of other means so we can all have the Republican dream home in our gated community.


Maybe we could come up with some joint business adventure scam to rob the elderly and disabled people so we can live high on the hog (or elephant - as the case may be).

[Beetwasher]

52. I'm Going To Become An Energy Trader

I can't wait to embrace my Republican masters!

[MisterP]

47. Colmes in '08!

positions and conscience are merely obstacles to success!
how will we ever beat them if we don't accept them wholeheartedly?!

[Beetwasher]

55. I Can't WAIT TO EMBRACE MY REPUBLICAN MASTERS!!!

Oh, if only we can all learn from the great and mighty Colmes!!

I aspire to be his lickspittle. I will forever be on bended knee to all card carrying republicans. I know I can never make ammends for my many wasted years of rampant liberalism and *gasp* humanity, but I can at least TRY damnit!

I've decided it! I'm going to become and energy trader!

[phish420]

54. LOL!!! Thank you for FINALLY bringing a smile to my face!!

First one of the day!

[Beetwasher]

59. Make Sure To Nominate It Then!

Everyone needs to know that they MUST NOT FIGHT!!! Welcome your new Republican overlords with open arms and an open heart and a hearty "THANK YOU SIR, MAY I HAVE ANOTHER!!!"

[Javaman]

56. Start hiding your books...They will be banned soon

[Beetwasher]

57. Soon???? WHY WAIT!! Ban and Burn them all NOW!!! Start w/ Michael Moore!

'Cept the bible of course...

[Kingshakabobo]

58. Please edit your post and add misspellings...get with the program...n/t

[The_Casual_Observer]

61. You don't even have to kid about this, this is exactly what

they have in mind. Exactly.

[Beetwasher]

65. I For One WELCOME OUR NEW REPUBLICAN OVERLORDS!!!

Perhaps they will see fit to make me some sort of indentured servant or maybe an energy trader.

I don't know why so many people are against this feudalism stuff...How bad can serfdom be?

[mbee]

62. How about - Real Christians love killing, starvation, lack of health-care

toxic air - Gee I didn't know that!

[BeHereNow]

64. Holy Jeebus, I wish ya'll learnt to spel!

Its KKKristians you knuckle head!
Don't blaspheme the party or we will pay you
a visit with our bible-bats!
What are you, a librul or sumpin?
In unity,
yer ig'nernt sister in Satan,
bhn

[tedzbear]

66. Can't you just FEEL the love???

God is on OUR side.


:nuke:

[Beetwasher]

67. Yes! Would god have made it thus if it was not supposed to be thusly made?

I think not!

I welcome our Republican overlords with an empty head and an open wallet!

[Snellius]

68. All fascists need some "Jew" to hate

and some international enemy to threaten our moral purity. It's too politically incorrect to scapegoat African Americans or real Jews any more. Gays are the Republicans' new Jews. Just as when Soviet communism was overthrown, the right quickly found a new bogeyman in Islamic terrorism to take its place. If their enemies don't exist they create them.