Thanksgiving Dinner: An Environmental Parable

[XemaSab]

Mary was 25 years old and the youngest daughter in a large family. Every year, Thanksgiving would be hosted at the home of a different family member. Finally, after many years of having dinner at the homes of different relatives, Mary offered to host the dinner.

Mary wanted the dinner to be perfect. She planned out an elaborate home-cooked meal with all the trimmings that she knew would impress her family.

There was a small problem, though. Mary lived in a small town in a county with five other small towns, each about 30 miles apart. Each of these towns had a small market with a limited number of ingredients, so one market might have a turkey, another market might have pumpkins, and a third might have cranberry sauce. Yes, there was a Wal-Mart Supercenter down the street from Mary that would have all the ingredients, but Mary (being a good environmentalist) hated Wal-Mart and didn't want to shop there.

Mary told herself that if she planned carefully, she could go out to each of the outlying towns and shop in the local markets well in advance of the holiday. Yes, it would be polluting to do all that driving, and the local markets probably weren't much better than Wal-Mart when it came to environmental stewardship, but Mary was determined not to go to the Wal-Mart.

She was going to stick to this plan, but one thing led to another and before she knew it it was Thanksgiving morning and she hadn't done ANY of the shopping.

Her guests were expected in a few hours, and she hadn't even bought the ingredients! And going to all of the markets would take time she didn't have!

She considered her options. She could go to the local market and see what they had, and then go to one other market in another town, and hope that the two markets together could supply enough food. She could try to find a turkey and supplement it with frozen tater tots and peas that she already had in her freezer. She could call her expected guests and ask them to bring food. She could order pizza. Or she could swallow her pride and go to the Wal-Mart.

Mary knew that there was really only one choice. She went to the Wal-Mart and she bought all her ingredients, then she went home and lovingly cooked a meal for her family.

After dinner, Mary's entire family agreed that it was the best Thanksgiving ever, and that Mary had really done herself proud. Even though Mary's conscience stung a bit, she knew then that she had made the right choice under the circumstances.

[littlewolf]

1. actually

going to walmart beats driving to a bunch of little towns .... from an environmentalist
now from a labor stand point .... kinda different ....
just my point of view

[JDPriestly]

2. Mary needs to learn to plan. This story is idiotic.

[XemaSab]

3. Mary needed to learn to plan 2 weeks ago

Humanity needed to learn to plan 2 centuries ago.

It's way too late for that, so we have to make the best of a bad situation.

[Dead_Parrot]

4. You got the bit about this being a parable, right? nt

[XemaSab]

19. Maybe someone's not down

:shrug:

[Systematic Chaos]

5. You left out the huge organic spread for 837 for just $0.28 per guest, AND the Allen's Coffee Brandy

How dare you?

:grr:

[XemaSab]

6. Ain't no Allen's coffee brandy

at teh Wal-Mart.

Ain't no ponies either. :P

[NNadir]

10. Are you sure?

Have you stopped at every Walmart in Maine while driving around to get the $0.28 Thanksgiving Dinner for 10,000?

They may have Allen's Coffee Brandy in Maine Walmarts.

And, if we may ask, how is that you know so much about what is and is not in Walmarts? :evilgrin:

[XemaSab]

11. I've never been in a Wal-Mart because Wal-Mart sucks

If they had excellent liquor, they might not suck, but because they suck they do not have excellent liquor.

However, if I was required to provide power for the entire US.... AHEM... feed my entire family Thanksgiving dinner at the last minute without feeding them pizza or frozen crap from the freezer, I would go to the Wal-Mart.

[NNadir]

13. If they had "excellent" liquor?

Does this statement exclude the possibility that they still have Allen's Coffee Brandy?

It seems to me that they could have it, and still not earn your visit, but my opinion on this score is presumptive because I have never had Allen's Coffee Brandy and therefore assume its a kind of "rot gut" or maybe better, "rot brain."

In fact, lips that touched Allen's Coffee Brandy have never touched mine.

[XemaSab]

15. There are plenty of places in Northern California to get booze

I think the question of whether or not Wal-Mart carries superior booze is moot. :toast:

The question of whether renewables will save, us, however.... :evilgrin:

[hunter]

7. This story needs cannibals. Where are the cannibals?

Many in Mary's family work in near slavery for a nasty retired banker who lives in a solar powered fortress on the hill. (The Wal-Mart closed a long time ago. In bad weather homeless people used to sleep in the Wal-Mart but that was before the roof collapsed during an unusually bad storm, one of the annual "once in a century" storms.)

It's a bad year for Thanksgiving, there is very little to celebrate. The crops weren't good and half the wells went entirely dry. Uncle Harry says it's the fat banker on the hill; that he drilled his own wells deeper and sucked the aquifer dry watering his golf course and keeping his swimming pools and fish ponds filled.

The fat banker is an abusive boss, his goons are hungry and have had enough of him. So Mary suggests they all organize a raid against his fortress. They rip into his mansion and drag the fat banker out like a squeeling pig. They divide his solar panels and batteries among the families, each according to need. They also discover a huge hoard of food and ammunition, including a freezer full of turkeys.

Too bad for the fat banker... he's already roasting on a spit.

After dinner, Mary's entire family agreed that it was the best Thanksgiving ever, and that Mary had really done herself proud. Even though Mary's conscience stung a bit, she knew then that she had made the right choice under the circumstances.

[XemaSab]

8. That's what happens NEXT year

when Mary fails to provide dinner THIS year. ;)

[NNadir]

9. They could have just broke down and ate the...

...http://www.dailykos.com/story/2010/9/19/903294/-Post-Chernobyl-Radionuclide-Distributions-in-an-Austrian-Cow.">Radioactive Austrian Cow.

[XemaSab]

12. Lutefisk is a traditional CHRISTMAS dinner

My family is Swedish and from Minnesota; I know from lutefisk.

[NNadir]

14. Let's not get extreme...

It is one thing to eat radioactive cows and even people, quite another to eat lutefisk.

[XemaSab]

16. .

:patriot:

[joshcryer]

17. I love you.

Made my day. :D

[XemaSab]

18. .

:D