Yeah, the rumours are true, my best friend's little bro is a coke head

[HEyHEY]

Yeah, this is perfect, it puts me in the amazingly awsome spot of having to talk to his mother.
So, tonight after my best friend passed out, I get to talking with his little brother (he's 21) and he starts opening up to me. Basically his problems are what I knew all along, he's got issues with his Dad, and I don't blame him. I've always felt he got the short end of the stick. But hearing all of his problems in-depth was interesting, because he was right. See, the family is a good one, only problem, the eldest brother was always kinda treated a little better. Consequently he's a hard, driven guy. THe little bro is not. Tonight he had the balls to show me his stash, I tried my best to make him flush it, he wouldn't, then I looked away for a second, turned back and he was snorting a bunch....this kid has a serious problem, he says he's gone to therapy for it. I tried to tell him no matter what his issues are, his family loves hima and he has to put it behind him. He was going on about how" this is what I need to hear and shit, but it was all shallow.
I posted this a few months ago, and somoe DUers gave advice, I never followed through, that's my fault. But after actually seeing him do it. I'm speaking to his mom.
I've known this kid before he was born, and it really suck to see this, at first I thought of pounding the shit outta him, but that would do no good. So, I see this as the only viable solution.

You?

[xchrom]

1. well besides a person admiting they

have a problem -- the second problem is getting them to understand that it's a real medical condition.
addiction is not different from any other disease in it's active stages.
it becomes different at the treatment level, which first abstinence, secon mental, physical, and spiritual growth.
but you can't get to the second stage without dealing with the first.
and the individual hitting bottom is usually the thing that makes the change for the individual.
it's at this stage that you might ry family intervention.
but you need the advise of a professional at this stage.
there really is aright way and a wrong way to go about this.
he's probably cross addicted if cocaine is his notisable drug of choice, hiis second would probably be alcoho.
you might try getting in touch with cocaine anonymous in your area -- if there is one.

[xchrom]

2. damn, my typos

make me look like i'm drunk.
and i've been clean sober for -- what? -- twenty years?

[Padraig18]

3. Help him however you can.

Rather than have YOU tell his mom, can you try and convince HIM to tell her? He obviously needs help, but if he doesn't understand that, your just making a horizontal move by telling his mom. If you want to get him further down the road to recovery, help HIM to understand that he has a problem and needs help.

You're a good friend, to care that much. :hug:

[Loonman]

4. Be careful

Cokeheads will say anything to rationalize their habit.

[commander bunnypants]

5. good luck my friend

it will be a tough road for him and you. But you are a good friend for him

DDQM

[Nikia]

6. Does he realize that he is creating a bigger problem?

Let me tell you about my cokehead former friend. He started doing coke when he was 21. He had just married his pregnant wife. they lived with her parents. They were going to get a house of their own. They had some money saved. The all that money disappeared. He used it to by coke, which he devloped an addicted to quite rapidly. While she was inlabor, he was out buying coke and getting high. His wife left him less than a year later. This devestated him.
Through the years, he became a heavier coke user. Another friend who grew up in an area with heavy drug activity said that he never knew anyone who did as much coke in one sitting as him. He never gets to see his son who lieves in the local area. The mother told the court that her exhusband is a drug addict. Even if the court did not agree, this man would not be able to afford a lawyer. Most of his check is garnished because there were so many bills he couldn't pay, bills that he spent the money on coke instead.
This man never works in the same place long before he gets fired either for his drug use or his moodiness that he seems to go through after doing coke. He doesn't live in the same place long as he is always getting evicted. He is a fun guy but doesn't keep friends that long as they realize that he is never paying the money back that they lent him and he's bought more coke instead.
At 35, he had a heart attack. He survived. He said that he quit everything: his lesser drugs pot and alcohol and even coke. He was eating so much better, exercising so much better. A couple months later he was still bragging about the exercise and diet but had started doing coke again. See, he is selling it as he has been for the past several years. A bigger drug dealer owns him, many thousands of dollars in drug debt. As an addict he cannot be around it without using it.
I don't see how he won't die of a heart attack within a couple years anyway. He cannot pay his doctor who felt bad for him at first and gave him free samples of heart medication. The doctor stopped providing free service when this man asserted that he was using coke again and refused to stop and refused to go into addiction treatment.
This man thinks that all his problems are caused by his wife leaving him almost 15 years ago and her refusal to let him see their son. He doesn't see what his main problem is. I felt sorry for him but there is only so much that you can do for a person. I don't see him anymore after he got fired for beating up another employee at work.
I hope that your friend stops before coke becomes as much as a problem in his life as the man who I just described. Coke is not a solution to one's problems, it often becomes a bigger problem.