Did you hide when Jehova's came by?

[WillyBrandt]

We used to turn off the lights and stay quiet, and wait for the Jehova's to walk to the next house.

Certain members of my family, had they known a Jehova's Witness were at the door, would go to it and start yelling and screaming at them. The house next to mine had a really really religious Catholic woman there, who would start arguing scripture.

Really nuts.

[CitizenWill]

1. Answer the door in the nude. Works everytime.

[nini]

Welcome to DU

[Az]

31. Black robes work well too

And if you can manage it lite some candles in the room as well. Altar optional.

[Canuckistanian]

34. ...then invite them in!

Welcome to DU!

[brokensymmetry]

2. Hide? No.

Just leave the door locked and ignore them. It irritates them more that way.

[LincolnMcGrath]

3. They ain't all bad

[U2Fanatic]

4. I avoid them like the plague!

My mom used to argue scripture with them, thank god she hasn't done that in years or i might go crazy

[Catshrink]

5. Mormons here...

I ignore them just like the JW's.

[boobooday]

6. Once my dad made jungle noises

He was by a window when they came by, and heckled them the whole time with parrot calls and monkey snorts. All of us, including one of the young JW's were cracking up. The elder guy didn't think it was funny.

http://www.wgoeshome.com

[Christ was Socialist]

7. I have a field day with them

I often hear I have problems because i attended catholic school. The j.w. group is a cult. Dogmatic religion seems to bethe realm of the mentally damaged. If they believe God will only accept 144,000 people they are in for a surprise, plus there are millions of j.w. in the world. Also it was a sect founded by a man in pittsburg. When it comes to ones relationship with God they shouldn't follow some guy was in the same boat. Spirituality stymies Religion every time.

this site is cool
http://relfrauds.www4.50megs.com/jw/murdered4.html



And the Satan is my leader joke tends to send them running

[YellowRubberDuckie]

9. Plus....

They like to molest their children...it's sick...
Duckie

[TheDebbieDee]

12. Jehovah's Witnesses are not a cult.............

They just have their share of overly zealous and fanatic believers, as do the Catholics, the Muslims, the Protestants, the Baptists, the Mormons and every other denomination that you can think of.

You show me a person who claims to have real faith, regardless of the religious denomination, and I'll show you a person who's checked their brain and living their life on autopilot.

[NNadir]

19. I have family members who are Jehovah's Witnesses.

They are very fine people, caring, considerate and giving. I think their theology is a bunch of nonsense, but nevertheless they are some of the most loving and unselfish people I know. They, unlike so many others, at least live their faith. (I, BTW, am an atheist.)

My cousin, who died recently, was a Jehovah's Witness. I miss her very, very much. I loved her a great deal, as did almost everyone who knew her.

[Christ was Socialist]

20. what's the difference

between them and jim jones following or seintology OR David koresh's group? The mental control them have over members is astounding. Not that they are bad people. I'm just reffering to the organization as a hole, heavens gate consisted of the most benevolent people in the country.

[TheDebbieDee]

37. The difference is.......

that the overly zealous religious people that you run into have decided to give their whole lives over to their faith - the religion itself doesn't insist that they give up their free will, mind, body and soul.

In other words, I think these people have a character flaw that predisposes them to becoming mindless drones, regardless of the religion. These people would embrace Catholicism, Judaism, Islam or whatever religion in much the same way.

You never know that Jehovah's Witnesses without this charater flaw or predisposition are even Jehovah's Witnesses. They are just normal everyday people trying to make it like you are.

[Djinn]

16. no more a cult than

any other form of religion from where I'm sitting.
My reaction to them depends on my mood when they come around, if I'm feeling argumentative I'll have the same argument I have with any theist.
If I'm busy I just say "no thanks" and shut the door before they have a chance to say anything else
If I'm feeling cheeky I go the "I'm a satanist, would YOU like to buy a magazine
I wish I'd thought of this one though - the cause of much hilarity down in Oz for a while...

MELBOURNE, Australia (AP) -- A man received a suspended two-month jail sentence Friday for feeding hash cookies to two unsuspecting American Mormons.

Alexander McLean, 46, baked around 30 cookies and served some of them to the two Americans when they visited his house in the southern city of Melbourne on May 19. The names of the 19-year-old victims, who were hospitalized after eating the cookies, were not released by the court.

McLean had pleaded not guilty in Dandenong Magistrates' Court to charges including recklessly causing serious injury and introducing a drug into the body of another.

Magistrate Margaret Harding dismissed the most serious charge of recklessly causing serious injury but convicted McLean of feeding the Mormons drugs.

A second man, Douglas Lynch, 40, pleaded guilty to charges of cultivating, using and possessing cannabis and was fined $290.

McLean said he would be appeal his conviction.

On leaving the court, McLean said the Mormons were "nice young guys -- clean cut."

"If they knock on our door again they are quite welcome to come in and have a cup of coffee and a biscuit," he said.

[salinen]

8. I always invite them in

It's too small a town to not. I listen for awhile, and argue against all their notions in a calm way. We shake hands in the end. I told them that as I get older, my thinking moves further away from their beliefs system. I always say that they will never succeed in converting me, but they say that it prepares them for others by talking with me. They are harmless boobs.

[opihimoimoi]

11. Far from harmless, they are out to steal your mind. They are a cult,

a cancereous one at that.

Stay far away from these people. Believe me. They are persistent and will come back forever if you buy their shit.

[salinen]

14. Thanks for the warning opi

They haven't a chance with me. I'm a devout atheist nature loving hippy.

[fudge stripe cookays]

36. A story about that....

A friend of mine said his aunt lived in California, and had had trouble with her car, so he let her use his much newer one.

She evidently died suddenly, so her relatives went down to clean up the house and divvy up possessions.

The JW's had taken EVERYTHING to sell for profit to the church, including his car! He tried to argue that it was not her car, that it was his, and he wanted it back, but no dice.

I can't remember all he told me he went through to get the car back (the law, rules and regs, etc) but the truth is, they are a cult. And I stay far, far away from them. I let reprehensor answer the door when they come calling.

He has fun with them. When they come to the door, he tells them he'll listen to their spiel and become a Jehovah's Witness if they agree to vote for Kerry this election.

For some reason, they never agree.

[Trajan]

10. I just had the experience ...

and the pleasure of telling them "I already have a church, thanks' ...

I am, of course, atheist, and a former catholic ...

As if I need someone else to argue with .... pfffffft ....

[JVS]

13. I talk to them. They are good people. I also offer a beverage.

[SW FL Dem]

15. I just tell them I respect their rights to believe and that I expect them

to do the same, then I shut the door. If they leave the Watchtower on my door, it goes directly to the recycling bin.

[Dogmudgeon]

17. Ranting for Ron

Once, when I was over at a friend's, a JW team came by. She had also recently been gifted with a copy of Dianetics by a friend at work, so my Analytical Mind put two and two together and hatched a wicked scheme.

We invited them in, and sat in such a way to block them from the door. We allowed them to give us the standard JW lecture for nearly a quarter of an hour. Then I launched into my attack: I began to tell them about "my religion," the religion of Scientology.

(FYI, I am not a Scientologist, but I have the lingo down pretty well.)

I started out pretty tame, and they feigned interest, but I gradually got more and more maniacial, more animated, and just plain loud. After about ten minutes, I was denouncing psychiatrists, the German government, COINTELPRO, and ranting about evil emperor Xenu and the need to make sure he didn't escape his electric box. Not just Scientology, but as weird a mix of things as I could invent.

And they could not get to the door.

Oh, they tried, but every time they'd make a break for it, one of us would block their exit.

Finally, after they had gone pale and were visibly shaken, I let them leave. We watched as they trotted back to the JehoVan and drove off in a big hurry ... back to the loacal Kingdom Hall and its public restrooms, we suspected.

And another case of entheta is cracked by Ron's Tech!

--bkl

[ewagner]

18. I used a different tactic

I invited them in and started arguing a combination of history and theology with them...they came twice and never returned.

[bushiehater]

21. Hang a Flag On the Outside of Your House

They won't talk to anyone who pledges allegiance to anything other than Jehovah. That includes your country. I heard that in a seminar once. It worked.

[ElsewheresDaughter]

22. nah..i invite them in and asked them about a years worth of ?s.....

they do NOT know either

[Selwynn]

23. I invited them in kindly, and polietly offered them refreshments....

...listened to what they had to say, and then politely said no thank you.


I'm not sure why I did that, but it felt nice.

[Minstrel Boy]

24. I hide on the mail carrier. I hide on the gas meter reader. Do you think

I'm going to open the door to a Jehovah's Witness?

[Hemprus]

25. No

I invite them in for tea (decaf of coarse)and let the kids at them!

[Solar]

26. I took a class...

I took a class in high school abut the different religions of the world, and it included an overview of what the JWs believe. One of our assignments was to observe a worship service of a non-Christian religion. The instructor strongly cautioned against observing a JW service. A few years before I took the course, a girl went to there and somehow the JWs got ahold of her address and phone number (I think it was from 'I'm a guest' card she filled out). The girl and the family were continualy harassed by the JWs by phone and in person for months afterwards.

[TOhioLiberal]

27. I would have put a bogus name

and address on the card. I regularly do that for websites I don't want to hear from again.

[Loonman]

28. I tell them Satan is my lord and savior

Works every time.

[KinkyDem]

29. True story

When I was maybe 12 years old I was home alone one afternoon watching movies. The VCR was a pretty new gizmo in those days and so I was having untold fun with the pause and rewind button and the good parts of some R rated movie when low and behold I discovered ... self love.

There's a point ... honest ... I'm wierd but not as wierd as you might think ...

So, anyway, I head upstairs to ... um ... have fun with my new found toy. I finish and clean myself up and in a bit of a daze I head back downstairs to put away the movie and clean-up so as not to get caught. When low and behold there's a knock at the door.

Still not thinking too clearly I head to the front door and open it and there, standing on the front stoop is some guy in a suite and two young boys. He gives me the big "I have a piece of candy for you" smile and I think "Oh, shit!".

"Are your parents home young man?", he says to me.

"No.", I say.

"Well, then we shouldn't stay but can I give you a book?".

"Sure, whatever." I say as I'm closing the door, and grab the comic book.

I walk into the kitchen and sit down with a glass of milk to replace my precius body fluids and to see what kind of propoganda he had given to me.

I honestly don't remember the name of this thing but it was about how evil masterbation is. All I could do was laugh.

So, everytime I see missionaries walking down a street, or two guys in suits riding bicycles I think back to that day and smile at my memory of my first mastabatory experience.

[Az]

30. Nope, I invite them in

The contest becomes to see how long it takes them to try to claw their way back out.

I have one rule regarding debating a person's beliefs. I do not engage in full debate unless I am attacked or invited. I consider coming to my door and trying to convert me to be both. And I do so enjoy a full on debate.

It is interesting to note their tactics. They travel in pairs. One newbie and one experienced. The first goal is to see when you can get the handler to step in and stop the damage.

[THUNDER HANDS]

32. actaully i like talking to them

It's not that bad, they just hang around for a few minutes, give you a pamphlet with cute little white kids and some deer and birds on it and say 'God Bless You' as they leave.

They're harmless.

[Bog Frog]

33. use a shotgun:

I know someone who opened the door on the chain and rested the muzzle of her shotgun against the chain when she opened the door. Quite effective.

[theboss]

35. My problem with JW's is their persistance

I get a lot of Mormom missionaries in my neighborhood for some reason. They are the most polite people in the world and will generally leave you alone once you let them know you aren't interested. Once Jehovah Witness's get their foot in your door (so to speak), they are relentless.

I had a tertiary friend growing up who was JW. From what I can tell, what makes them "cultish" is the control the church has over the individual home. I know there is a lot of hatred for mainstream Christianity here, but ministers and elders don't try to make the decisions for parents and families as so often happens in JW homes.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

38. I tell them I can't be a Jehovah's Witness. I didn't see the accident.

[tjwash]

39. Nope. I refuse to hide from anyone in my own house.

If they knock, I would simply explain to them that god is not something you sell door to door, and send them on their way...

[TXlib]

40. I friend in the SCA (Society for Creative Anachronism) did this:

His SCA persona was a William-Wallace-like character, naked save for a kilt, painted in blue woad, with a claymore slung over his back and a double-headed battleaxe in his belt. He had a big dog (don't remember the breed, but it was scary-lookin') which had facial nerve damage that gave it a permanent, frothy-drooled snarl. It is Sunday, and he is clad in full battle dress, snarling dog at his side. Oh, and he was about 6'3".

He throws open the door to go outside, and sees two Mormons or Jehovah's Witnesses (2 cleancut guys with identical haircuts, white shirts, black ties, black pants and shoes, clutching bibles) about to knock on his door.

They look up at him in stunned silence.

My friend yelled up the stairs (to nobody; he lived alone), "Igor! More Christians! Quick, fetch the bonesaw!"

The two interlopers ran each other over trying to get away from his house.

[Mrs. Venation]

41. Haven't Seen Them Around Here Much

but I just tell them we're gay. They don't want anything to do with us after I've told them.

Many years ago I was too polite to a Witness, and even though I told him I was a member of the Episcopal church and was not interested in what he had to say, he kept coming back. I finally answered the door with my brother's (unloaded) 12-gauge shotgun. That took care of the unwanted visitor.