Democratic Underground Latest Greatest Lobby Journals Search Options Help Login
Google

Post your groaner pun jokes here!

Printer-friendly format Printer-friendly format
Printer-friendly format Email this thread to a friend
Printer-friendly format Bookmark this thread
This topic is archived.
Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU
 
absyntheNsugar Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-07-04 07:14 PM
Original message
Post your groaner pun jokes here!
I'm talking about the ones that would make TODDLERS roll their eyes....

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation."

Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.

The frog says $30,000. The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager.

Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says: "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you, and he wants to borrow $30,000. And he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what the heck is this?"

The bank manager looks at her and says, "It's a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
swag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-07-04 07:18 PM
Response to Original message
1. One that a PDX airport shuttlebus driver told
"Why doesn't Tigger have any friends?"








Because he always plays with Poo(h).

*snort*
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Archae Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-07-04 07:20 PM
Response to Original message
2. How about this one?
Edited on Wed Apr-07-04 07:25 PM by Archae
Only those who believe in the power of cheeses can find Gouda.

Ba-dump ksssh!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
fishnfla Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-07-04 07:28 PM
Response to Reply #2
4. I like that one!
being a loser cheesehead and all.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Archae Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-07-04 07:30 PM
Response to Reply #4
5. Saw it on a bumper sticker.
Took me a little while to get it. :-)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
fishnfla Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-07-04 07:27 PM
Response to Original message
3. Did you hear about the fire in the camping store?
the flames were in tents.

I made that one up.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Commie Pinko Dirtbag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-07-04 07:31 PM
Response to Original message
6. 22 acrobats, forming an inverted human pyramid, walk into a bar
The barman serves everyone but the man at the bottom. When he protests, the barman says:

"Sorry, we can't serve people under 21."

Yeah, I made that one up too.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
MarianJack Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-07-04 07:31 PM
Response to Original message
7. Q. Did You Hear About the 2 Silkworms Who Got into a Race?
A. They wound up in a tie!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Archae Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-07-04 07:32 PM
Response to Original message
8. Why are Freepers and LaRouchies like apples and oranges?
Because by the time they get to us, they are completely out of their tree!

Ba-dump kshh!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
DU AdBot (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view 
this author's profile Click to add 
this author to your buddy list Click to add 
this author to your Ignore list Thu Oct 23rd 2014, 03:49 AM
Response to Original message
Advertisements [?]
 Top

Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002 DCScripts.com
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators


Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.

Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals |  Store  |  Donate

About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy

Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.

© 2001 - 2011 Democratic Underground, LLC