Seriously. What would you really do if GW offered to shake you hand?

[ohiosmith]

[JaySherman]

1. Just turn around and walk away.

[LDS Jock]

54. I'd do the same

No need to get the death penalty for myself by bitch slapping him, which is what I'd like to do.

[cally]

75. Thanks so much for showing respect

to many DUers who asked that fellow DUers not use the word bitch slap.

[LDS Jock]

81. I couldn't edit my earlier reply

Let me take this opportunity to apologize to anyone upset by my use of the term "b**** slap." I am still somewhat new here and honestly I do not read anywhere near even a third of all threads. I'm not a moderator and it takes too much time. I see profanity on here regularly and assumed what could be said on tv could be said on here.

[truthspeaker]

96. yeah he should have read your minds to know how many are offended by it

and, of course, automatically agreed with you. All hail the PC language police.

[skooooo]

2. Flip him off.

[EstimatedProphet]

Take off my rings.

And my watch.

[bigmonkey]

3. I have considered this.

Grab it, hold it, and tell him a short, pithy truth about himself.

[pacifictiger]

4. no chance of it happening

the further I stay away from him the better I feel.

[Blue-Jay]

5. If I knew in advance...

I'd give him the "stink-palm".

Watch "Mallrats" and you'll understand.

[Whitacre D_WI]

9. Damn! Beat me to it!

on edit: Blue-Jay is a douchebag.

[ChompySnack]

6. Refuse

And call him a corrupt and evil man to his face.

[Whitacre D_WI]

7. I would "stink-palm" him.

[ohiosmith]

49. What is a "stink-palm"?

[shanti]

66. you DON'T want to know!

ctfu! but i'll let you in on it anyway:

"Wiping your ass with your hand, preferably while very sweaty or freshly after taking a shit. Then procede to shake some random asshole's hand. It'll stink for hours!"

[elfwitch]

99. the answer to that question may be found...

By watching Kevin Smith's "Mallrats".

[Fenris]

8. Tell him where he could shove his handshake.

[boobooday]

I wouldn't shake his hand.

Nope.



http://www.wgoeshome.com

[YellowRubberDuckie]

10. Make sure I had some handi wipes with me like Monk...

And wipe my hand off afterwards. Thinking about touching him makes my skin crawl.
Duckie

[codegreen]

11. remain motionless, give him a death stare

[newsguyatl]

18. LOL

that's so funny. lol

[alittlelark]

12. Just keep staring him in the eye

and not offering my hand. A stare can be worth 100,000 words - mine would be filled w/4-letter words and a touch of pity.

[liberalhistorian]

13. Spit on the fucker's

hand and walk away.

[arcane1]

64. hand, hell!!

I'd spit in his simian FACE!!!!

[wryter2000]

14. Walk away

Would depend on the circumstances. If he showed up at my house, I'd tell him calmly that he wasn't welcome and close the door. In a public place, I'd walk away as long as I could do that easily.

[woofless]

15. Refuse

then vomit. Not necessarily in that order.

[Padraig18]

16. Say, "I'll see you in Hell first" n/t

[HornBuckler]

17. Do A Sweet 80's Move

Extend My Hand, Then Pull Back To The Hair Saying "Mooch!"

[U2Fanatic]

40. LOL

that is a good one

[Plaid Adder]

19. Excellent comeback from Sir Walter Scott's *Marmion*:

"My castles are my king's alone,
From turret to foundation stone--
The hand of Plaidder is her own."

And then you just walk away.

Scott said "Douglas" instead of Plaidder, but otherwise, it's perfect,

The Plaid Adder

[ohiosmith]

48. I like that.

[leftofthedial]

20. refuse

hold both my hands up, shake my head, and stare at his hand like he was trying to hand me a fresh turd.

[Katarina]

21. Give him a pissy look

and ask him who he was talking to. Seriously...there is no way in hell that creep would touch me. Nasty!

[gpandas]

22. handshake

get directly down on his case

[toska]

23. Shake and ...

say nice to meet you Governor. I hear he really gets pissed when he doesn't feel he gets the proper respect. You have to be very calm and non-threatening but get him all worked up. Bring out the little kid in him.

[nini]

24. I honestly don't know....

I most likely would just ignore him or act like I don't see him reaching out. but on the other hand it may be a chance to tell him a thing or two.


I doubt I would ever get close enough to him as I would never go after him and he'd never come towards me with the scowl I'd have on my face.

[xchrom]

25. puhleeez, where would bush be

to shake this ol' gay boy's hand?
any place he'd be, this side of heaven, wouldn't have me.
and heaven wouldn't have him.
thank you jeeezus!

[ronnykmarshall]

90. I'd curtsy

and say "pleased to meet ya, Miss Thang".

[DEM FAN]

26. I Would Not Shake His Hand. I Would Put My Hands Behind My Back

And Walk Away.

[Broadslidin]

27. After Spitting into my hand and Gripping him firmly, I would say.........!

How you doin, georgie pourgie?

[absyntheNsugar]

28. Smile, shake his hand then whisper to him

that he's invited to a BBQ at my place after he gets voted out in November.

[Spider Jerusalem]

29. Look at his hand, shake my head, and say to him...

"I'm sorry, but I save my right hand for better things than that." Then turn around and walk off.

[Wapsie B]

30. Honestly,

I'd be afraid he'd throw me in Gitmo if I didn't shake his hand.

[LiberalManiacfromOC]

31. First, stare at his with a disgusted look. Then when he gave me that

stupid smile, i would say something like "You don't deserve to shake my hand you knowledgeless bigot." and walk away.

[AlienGirl]

32. STINKPALM!

[Loonman]

52. Totally

I'd stinkpalm him in a heartbeat.

[elperromagico]

33. I'd look at it and say, "Yep, that's a hand all right."

Then walk away.

[ThoughtCriminal]

34. Maybe stick out my left hand?

Watch him try and deal with it.

[Bertha Venation]

35. nothing clever here -- just stare in his eyes & put my hands in my pockets

I doubt I'd say a word.

[fudge stripe cookays]

36. Recoil in horror

then walk away so that all in attendance would know that it was an insult.

[St. Jarvitude]

37. I'm well prepared for this situation

I don't go anywhere without my trusty Joy Buzzer in tow.

[VelmaD]

79. That was my mom's first thought...

when she saw this thread. She's mean.

[CHestonsucks]

38. Give him the limp hand.

Extend my hand and offer no gripping pressure in greeting whatsoever. Try it, it's gross!

[Lisa]

39. "uh uh! You didn't say the magic words, Mr. Bush!"

And if he were so stunned as to say, "May I please shake your hand?" (and even then he would be smirking insincerely)

"No, sir -- you're supposed to say you're resigning!"

[AntiCoup2K4]

41. How much could I get away with without being shot by the SS guards?

Hell, I'd even risk a night in jail. It would be worth it just to tell that fucking piece of shit how much I loathe him and his entire criminal family, to his face.

[kiahzero]

42. Be reasonably polite

I believe in the notion of respecting the office, if not the illegal squatter.

[Guy Whitey Corngood]

43. I swear, I'll pimp slap him. Then I'll see you all in 5 to 10.......eom

[LWolf]

44. I'd never get close enough to him

for that to be a possibility. I can't imagine choosing to spend some of the finite moments of my life at a gathering that he would attend.

[UTUSN]

45. Kick where No-balls n/t

[Djinn]

46. I doubt I'd ever get that close

if I ever got within screaming range my obscenities would already have seen a bunch of secret service dudes jump me and bundle me out to a holding cell!

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

47. Same thing I did when Reagan tried it.... stuck out my hand

and withdrew it before he could grab it while saying, "just like you took the promised veteran benefits away, Mr. President."

[m-jean03]

60. Nice one, WJMS! --

How did he react?

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

70. I got a glare from my Commanding Officer, and he just stared

blankly at me. He moved on, and the secret service guy behind my CO said "Nice work."

[m-jean03]

77. Ha! That's great.

I sure hope you made him think, if only for a minute!

[Bride of Cthulhu]

50. give him a really disgusted look,

turn my back and walk off.

[Ganja Ninja]

51. Hold my hand out and when he reaches for it...

pull it away real fast and smooth my hair with it.

[Xithras]

53. Put Krazy Glue on my hand and shake it

And then while we're glued together and he can't go anywhere, I'd verbally tear him a new asshole for the damage he's done to this country. I doubt that Bush has ever met anyone as angry as I'd be. Right there, face to face and in front of the cameras, I'd ask him all the questions the media is afraid to ask. No crime would go undeclared, and no insult would go unhurled.

Of course, I'd never be at any event Bush is attending, so I guess it's all academic.

[bearfan454]

55. I would tell hin I don't shake hands with

right wing neocon facist Nazi corporate crook war criminals. And then give him the finger.

[ploppy]

56. I'd hand him my glasses

and ask him to clean them.

[rbnyc]

57. I wouldn't shake his hand for a million dollars.

I would say, "I'm sorry Mr. Bush, but you don't deserve to shake my hand."

[Ricdude]

58. "Nice to meet you, Governor." (nt)

[ohiosmith]

61. I doubt that he'd get it.

[truthspeaker]

59. spit on the ground in front of him

And probably follow it up with "Fuck you, traitor."

I've spent a lot of time imagining what I'd do!

[sniffa]

62. tickLe his paLm

you know what that means?

[tsakshaug]

63. undecided

between the no-hand death stare

or the firm unbreakable hand shake while telling him what a jerk he is while the SS pull me off and drag me off. Wonder how long I could hang on

[Rabrrrrrr]

65. "Up to now I've only shaken hands with gentleman

and I see no reason to stop that time-honored, Christian tradition. I cannot shake your hand, Mr. Bush."

Normally, I wouldn't refuse to shake hands because I believe in respecting the moment and the person of authority. But because he's Shrub - and not a gentleman, and a criminal, and a traitor, with a child-like sensibility about being "dissed" - refusing would totally set off his toddler-like temper and I'd love to see him go into a tirade especially if the media were around.

Now, if at some point in my life I were to become a prison chaplain, and had opportunity to provide counseling and pastoral care to him, THEN I would shake his hand.

[CO Liberal]

67. I'd Salute Him - With One Finger

Like I did to then-President Nixon in 1970, when he visited Morristown, NJ.

[discordian]

68. STINK PALM!!!!

Major league, drippy, luscious, stink palm.

[ohiosmith]

69. What is a "stink-palm"?

[camero]

74. I think it's when you spit in your hand n/t

[ohiosmith]

76. Thanks

[Doctor_J]

89. actually, I think

instead of moistening your hand with spit, you fetch some "dew" from the top of your, um, ass cleavage.

[ohiosmith]

93. Oh man. Funny.

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

71. Shake his hand

nt

[MusicTVstar]

88. thats what i was going to say!

as always, we're always thinking the same thing...

i'd shake his hand out of respect for the office of president, even if he's far from my favorite and i don't agree with any of his policies, i think i'd just shake his hand back

[Cuban_Liberal]

72. No, I would not.

I wouldn't be caught anywhere close enough to have the opportunity, frankly...

[CBHagman]

73. Put my hand behind my back and start...

...lecturing him about all the horrible things he's done. Grr.

[strategery blunder]

78. Puke on it

Just like the shrub's daddy puked on the Prime Minister of Japan.

[salin]

80. While shaking his hand... stare him in the face

start with "wow, you are so much shorter than you look on tv", and ask if he needs the name of a good dentist.

*apparently he has bad teeth, and is terribly concerned about it, which is why one rarely sees pics of him with his teeth showing. just thought I would go for his vanity*

In short - with no power I couldn't do much but try to screw with his vane head for a moment.

[ForrestGump]

82. Easy

[ForrestGump]

83. OR

[GoddessOfGuinness]

84. fart

as rankly as possible.

[ohiosmith]

86. Nothing worse than a Guinness fart!

[polazarus]

85. I would shake his hand.

We are all humans ya know.

[name not needed]

87. cram a pretzel down his throat

n/t

[Rabrrrrrr]

91. with a shovel

[stanwyck]

92. I'd want the press there to capture

my not letting go of his hand while I tell him what a disgrace he is to our country. He has distorted America's freedom into a fascist regime of death and greed.

[carols]

94. Laugh and insult the size of his penis

n/t
Carol

[ohiosmith]

97. You've been talking to Laura?

[athos1126]

95. I'D BITE HIM!

HAHAHAHA!!!!!

Hi guys!

[carols]

98. LOL - my other option was to grin broadly...

firmly grasp his hand, wink and say, "Don't you worry about a thing asshole...my doctor ASSURED me I'm no longer contagious." or

turn to my husband and say, "See honey...I told you he was just like Jesus what with touching the lepers and all." Then to *, "Don't worry...it's the dry kind...I think..."

Watch the little squeamish fucker jump right out of his shoes...

[havocmom]

100. Be arrested for spitting on him

I figure there are no words for my contempt