My father died

[kimi]

We've been estranged for decades - he really didn't like me, my education - I insisted on going to college - the fact that I had kids . . . oh, the list goes on. And he was an abusive father to me & very abusive to my mom; my brother & I witnessed things that no kids should ever see. We never got along politically or in most any other way.

So I don't actually mourn him - although I feel like I should. I'm angry that the news came to me through my mom (they've been divorced for years & she's since re-married) but she recently got burned out of her apartment & is in assisted living in PA, & she's in the early stages of Alzheimer's as well. My brother - who my father always favored - & his wife told her about the death today while driving to the funeral in Texas, & wanted her to pass the news on to me. I feel strongly that my brother should have told me directly, & also had the balls to tell me that I wasn't invited to the funeral. We're the only 2 children.

I'm angry about that, & confused. We only get 2 parents - now one of mine is gone & the other is sort of lost also.

Eh, just venting. I really can't mourn & it feels weird. I'm angry, about the circumstances about the death notification, & so many other things from the past.

[NYC_SKP]

1. I'm so sorry to read this, kimi. Sending love and hugs and vibes to you and yours.

[stockholmer]

2. sorry for the entire situation, and the long-drawn-out loss

[trueblue2007]

3. hi kim, sorry to hear of death of your dad

[fizzgig]

4. i am just seeing this

kimi, i am so sorry for your loss. i hope you are well

[AverageJoe90]

5. I'm sorry to hear about all this.

IMHO, though, it might be best to just try to think about whatever good times you might have had with your mom and try to be there for her........,just my 2 cents, really.