Damn! Local market has no fresh penguins. Need ideas on where I can get a couple.

[ohiosmith]

[MrCoffee]

1. Just put a couple herring on the front porch. They'll come to you.

[ohiosmith]

2. Got any herring?

[Denninmi]

3. Bloom County

http://www.google.com/search?q=opus+bloom+county&hl=en&...

[ohiosmith]

7. Hahahaha!

[KamaAina]

4. Is there an Antarctic Import Warehouse near you?

[ohiosmith]

10. Yes, but they tell me penguins are out of season. No fresh ones until spring.

[KamaAina]

11. It *IS* spring down there!!!

[ohiosmith]

12. Spring here.

[OriginalGeek]

5. They are Penguins my good man,

You don't need fresh. Frozen will be just as good.

[ohiosmith]

13. Fresh is so much better. May have to visit the zoo.

[trof]

15. Honestly, 'flash frozen' is just as good.

I've tried both and I can't really tell the difference.
Juicy and succulent.
No 'gamey' taste at all.
And NO pinfeathers!

[ohiosmith]

23. Juicy! Mmmm!

[gratuitous]

6. Check with Tobin S.

He was driving a truck load of penguins to the local exhibit recently when his truck broke down. He flagged down a brother trucker (I said brother!), and gave him a thousand dollars to take the penguins to the zoo. Later, after his truck had been towed to the mechanic, Tobin was heading back down the road, and saw the same guy, with the penguins lined up behind him. Tobin said, "I told you to take these penguins to the zoo!" The guy said, "I did, and I had some money left over, so now I'm taking them to the movies."

If you can find out which movie they went to, you could score big!

[ohiosmith]

14. Still gets a laugh.

[PRETZEL]

8. Pittsburgh

and they're pretty good.

[ohiosmith]

19. Too tough.

[MilesColtrane]

9. My suggestion would be to rig an incubator and hatch 'em yourself!

"Soon"



Bet you can't eat just one!






For Xtra cash, you can always sell your surplus to your neighbors.

A good size roaster is going for $1.39 a pound around here.

[ohiosmith]

20. Think they'll be ready by Saturday?

[MilesColtrane]

21. Supposedly you can speed the process up with a microwave.

[ohiosmith]

24. Cool! Got a good source for the eggs?

[MilesColtrane]

28. Go to the Jackson Market on D Street at 3:15AM.

There's a dumpster out back.

There you will meet a man named "Bobby" wearing a fez.

Approach him with, "Why, someone has eaten all the sorbet."

He will respond with, "You have a hell of a lot of explaining to do, Lucius."

Bring small, unmarked bills in a plastic Tom Thumb bag.

[ohiosmith]

29. Where do I get the Tom Thumb bag?

[MilesColtrane]

30. OK, make it a Von's bag then.

[trof]

16. You could try salt cured smoked penguin...

but they tend to be a bit dry unless you use them in a ragu.

[ohiosmith]

25. It's a barbecue. Ragu sounds great for a more formal setting.

[texanwitch]

17. You might have to buy a duck and a chicken and fake it.

Take some parts from one and a few parts from the other.

Now one will know what a penguin tastes like, except for a walrus.

[taterguy]

18. Walruses live in the Arctic, penguins live in Antarctica

So no walrus has ever tasted a penguin.

[Bucky]

22. Tennessee Tuxedo will NOT fail...(to please your palette)

[csziggy]

26. Well, here's your problem

[Xipe Totec]

27. Halal penguin, or just regular?