In addition to breaking up The Beatles, what other disasters has Yoko Ono been responsible for?

[ohiosmith]

Climate change. It's all her fault.

[kentauros]

1. The demise of the American educational system.

She played right into the GOP's hooks.

[ohiosmith]

2. There is no question.

[charlie and algernon]

3. The Tunguska Blast of 1908

[ohiosmith]

6. Yes. That is a well known but little reported fact.

[HopeHoops]

4. McLobster.

[ohiosmith]

7. An affront to all humankind.

[kayakjohnny]

5. Her singing?

:evilgrin:

[ohiosmith]

8. No question. Millions still wake up screaming as the nightmares persist.

[NoGOPZone]

9. From that picture, I'd say violet tinted eyeglass lenses. nt

[ohiosmith]

15. An offense worthy of banishment.

[Arugula Latte]

10. Bay of Pigs.

The CIA is covering up her role.

[ohiosmith]

16. Brian Jones knew. I'll say no more.

[mysuzuki2]

11. mass extinctions at the end of the Paleozoic.

[ohiosmith]

17. There is sufficient fossil evidence to prove it.

[mysuzuki2]

39. I will let her off the hook for the mass extinctions at the end of the Mesozoic, however.

That's been proven to have been caused by Pat Boone's ego striking the earth.

[ohiosmith]

41. Fair is fair. We are not communists after all.

[mysuzuki2]

44. speak for yourself, comrade.

[Bake]

12. Fukushma meltdown ... ?

I saw a pic of someone who looks suspiciusly like Yoko leaving the nuclear plant ...

Just sayin'.

:hi:

Bake

[ohiosmith]

19. Hmmm!

[MiddleFingerMom]

13. Widespread ear-ectile dysfunction. n/t

[ohiosmith]

20. Hahahaha!

[Manifestor_of_Light]

14. I know you're trying to be funny but I don't think people should pile on Yoko.

The Beatles were all sick of working together anyway. Anybody who has seen LET IT BE would know that. No, it didn't help any that she was there, but she was not the cause of it.

So she can't sing. But she can sing better than Linda did. They didn't even turn on Linda's mike, it was so bad.

:shrug:

[ohiosmith]

21. Yoko sent you here didn't she?

[MiddleFingerMom]

23. ANY musician in ANY band knows that the first sign of a break-up are often the words...

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
... HEY, GUYS... I'M GETTING MARRIED!!!!!
.
.
.

[ohiosmith]

25. Amen!

:thumbsup:

[Taverner]

18. She once killed a man in Reno just to watch him die...

Actually, per the Beatles she got a bad rap. John invited her to all of the later Beatles' sessions and she was scared and nervous as hell. John wanted to leave the group, she just wanted to be with him.

[ohiosmith]

22. And there is a man doing time in Folsom for her crime.

[Throd]

53. Why is he serving time in a California prison for a homicide in Nevada?

[ohiosmith]

58. It's a mystery!

[jmowreader]

86. Because...

if they would have put him in prison in Nevada, someone else would be singing, "I threw a man off a balcony in Carson City just to watch him die."

[hifiguy]

24. An LP called "Approximately Infinite Universe" IIRC,

Back in the 1990s I worked Sundays in a friend's record shop. When kids would come in ten minutes before closing, I would put that unspeakably awful LP on. It sounded like cats being tossed into Cuisinarts. Not once did it fail in clearing the store within a minute. Though suffering through it myself was not easy.

[ohiosmith]

27. The reason I punctured my eardrums with an ice pick.

[edbermac]

28. LEAVE YOKO ALONE!!

[ohiosmith]

32. The truth must be known.

[petronius]

26. Seriously? She has completely ruined crossword puzzles

If I have to enter "yoko" or "ono" one more time I may opt to kill an erne with my epee out of ire...

[ohiosmith]

33. And, the New York Times is an unindicted co-conspirator.

[Arugula Latte]

29. New Coke? ... Her idea.

[ohiosmith]

34. She has no shame.

[LynneSin]

30. She enabled the Clenis to cause so much destruction in American History

:rofl:

[ohiosmith]

35. Evil incarnate.

[deutsey]

31. "Snakes on a Plane" was inspired by a bad acid trip she had with Lennon.

[ohiosmith]

36. Proof that no one is all bad.

:rofl:

[deutsey]

43. :-)

[meegbear]

37. My Male Pattern Baldness ...

there is no other explanation for it.

[ohiosmith]

38. Her cruelty is without equal.

[nolabear]

40. I had a cold last year on my birthday!

I'm sure it was Yoko. What else would explain it?

[ohiosmith]

42. There is no other explanation.

[Joe Fields]

45. "Who Has Seen the Wind?"

which was the flip side of one of the Plastic Ono Bands 45's...I think it was Instant Karma, but not sure...

Her singing is actually worse than nails across a chalkboard.

[ohiosmith]

49. Yoko should not be allowed to "sing" within ten miles of any living thing, including plants.

[Tabasco_Dave]

46. Putting High Fructose Corn Syrup in all our food. n/t

[MrSlayer]

47. Have you ever heard her "music"?

I hear it has killed thousands of dolphins worldwide.

[undeterred]

54. I've heard her "music" is used to clear music stores at closing time.

[ohiosmith]

59. Hahahaha!

[undeterred]

64. Somebody posted that here.

If it was near closing time and people were lingering in the store it was a surefire way to get them out; worked every single time!

[ohiosmith]

66. I thought I had seen it somewhere.

:rofl:

[ElboRuum]

80. I believe...

I'd rather hear a thousand cats yowling in heat while scraping their claws against a thousand blackboards with experimental theramin and screech feedback playing in the background.

[undeterred]

90. Yes, but a recording of Yoko Ono is easier to find.

So, if its time to clear the store or have tarrying guests or relatives leave, Yoko will do the trick.

[Deep13]

48. The Armenian genocide. nt

[ohiosmith]

60. And the Ottoman Empire took the rap.

[Deep13]

75. Nope, all Yoko. nt

[Phentex]

50. What do you think the Y stood for in Y2K?...

Uh huh.

:)

[ohiosmith]

61. Now that you mention it......

[Tuesday Afternoon]

51. she broke up Woody and Mia

wait a minute...

[ohiosmith]

62. It's her gift.

[KG]

52. Ralph Nader

[ohiosmith]

65. Little known fact.....Yoko designed the Corvair.

[UTUSN]

55. Bwah-ha-HAH!! (Composing self: ) But to answer: My pool playing/ motor coordination.

As I've said many a time, whenever I used to shoot a cannonball slop shot I would yell out, "Yoko ONO!1"

[ohiosmith]

67. Hahaha aha!

[Bake]

56. The demise of the dinosaurs.

They took one look and ran like hell, died of exhaustion.

:rofl:

Bake

[ohiosmith]

68. And a meteor got blamed.

[ohiosmith]

69. Delete. Dupe.

[cemaphonic]

57. A friend of mine knew Sean Lennon in HS - said he was kind of a dick.

Granted, who isn't in High School?

[ohiosmith]

71. Always felt kinda sorry for the kid. I think Julian may have had a more normal childhood.

[cemaphonic]

76. Odd, I would've thought the opposite.

Julian's childhood was right at the peak of The Beatles as a going concern, with all the fame and media scrutiny and so on. (also a whole hell of a lot of acid.) Plus, I've always had the impression that John was a pretty terrible father to him. Sean came along during a much more domestic and quiet time when John was a lot more willing to be a father.

Granted, having your dad murdered when you were a child would put a whammy on anyone.

[UTUSN]

63. Art. She broke Art. Because she's an "artist," doncherknow. n/t

[ohiosmith]

73. Tell me this isn't art. Tell me.

[ElboRuum]

79. That's not art.

Might be steve, though.

[geardaddy]

70. Waterworld

It was her idea.

[Phentex]

72. rofl....

:rofl:

good one!

[ohiosmith]

74. As was Costner's Robin Hood.

[Ivan Sputnik]

77. She told the Titanic's captain not to worry about icebergs.

"We're all water. Some water is just more solid than other."

[ohiosmith]

82. She also "sang" Amazing Grace as the ship went down prompting several hundred passengers to jump

overboard rather than waiting for a life boat.

[ElboRuum]

78. She's WHY you can't divide by zero.

[ohiosmith]

87. Bwahahahaha!

[quakerboy]

81. Jersey Shore

Who is Yoko Ono, and why are we blaming her for things?

[ohiosmith]

91. It's a long story.

[SwissTony]

83. Yoko Ono deserves a Nobel peace prize

I lived in Darwin (Northern Territory, Australia) in the 80s. Darwin's pretty warm all year (think Florida) and everyone has their windows open all the time.

One of my neighbours decided to put on his stereo loud one day. Very loud. One of my other neighbours objected to this and put on HIS stereo. Even louder. This quickly lead to a war of escalation. Not very pleasant at all.

Luckily my stereo could kick both their stereos' asses. So, I cranked my baby up and put on my 45 copy of "Don't worry Kyoko (Mummy's only looking for a hand in the snow)" - the B-side of Cold Turkey in Australia.

I swear to you, people, within two minutes, peace was restored.

Yoko is a saint as far as I'm concerned.

[ohiosmith]

93. Brilliant!

[Ikonoklast]

84. The Heartbreak of Psoriasis.

She makes me itch, for certain.

[ohiosmith]

94. Hahahaha!

:toast:

[Phentex]

85. She's planning to kill The Thread That Never Dies...

or so rumor has it...

[Fire Walk With Me]

88. This.

It was no "gale"; Yoko was holding a concert beneath it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j-zczJXSxnw

[Scatterheart]

89. Here's a fun game to play with over-zealous Beatles fans.

Whenever I hear one of these obnoxious twerps whose musical appreciation never got past "Love Me Do", I go out of my way to play something like, say, this:
http://youtu.be/hZe8_03E1mY

Then when they say they thought it was pretty, you tell them its Yoko Ono and watch their heads explode.

No, she's not for everyone. Yes, a lot of her early work is extremely confrontational, abrasive and experimental. A lot of her work is also beautifully written (unlike John Lennon, Yoko actually could *write* musical notation) and moving. Her album Season of Glass, recorded after John's murder, is a one-of-a-kind tour de force of rage and heartbreak, unlike anything else recorded by a female singer-songwriter at the time (aside from maybe Marianne Faithfull).

But really, few things get me more riled than listening to people make fashionably nasty and misogynistic cracks about things they don't appreciate.

[RedCloud]

92. Any and all disasters where the witnesses moan, "Oh no!"