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ashling Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-27-11 03:45 PM
Original message
Shit my students write
I am an adjunct instructor (in other words, part time, no benefits, no respect) for online classes in American government. I was taking a break from getting ready for the start of classes and found a site on the shit that some students write ... and I laughed until I cried until I laughed some more.

http://shitmystudentswrite.tumblr.com/submit
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madinmaryland Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-27-11 04:05 PM
Response to Original message
1. That was funny! Thanks.
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Tuesday Afternoon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-27-11 04:41 PM
Response to Original message
2. I had no idea when we left the bar.
I felt so guilty because I realized I was aiding in the bedding of a criminal.

I bet that is exactly what they meant, too :rofl:
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WolverineDG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-27-11 04:48 PM
Response to Original message
3. IT WAS THE GERMANS, DAMMIT
Was it the Revolutionary War or the Civil War that the Japanese dropped the atomic bomb on Pearl Harbor?

(for some reason, this seemed most appropos for DU)

dg
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Amerigo Vespucci Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-27-11 05:08 PM
Response to Original message
4. "Like a woman seduces a horny man...
...Hitler captivated the people of Germany."

I think there was probably more to it than that, but we need to encourage our youth to keep pushing the educational envelope.

:rofl:
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Chan790 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-27-11 05:49 PM
Response to Original message
5. I swear sometimes...
having taught writing, that Sartre was imprecise.

Hell is other people who think they can write.

Some of the worst prose I've ever seen has come from the keystrokes of recent college English graduates with egos the size of TX who've never been told they're barely coherent. They think they're the shit, that they've toiled and deserve to be Jonathan Franzen, William Faulkner or Truman Capote. (Mind you, these are children...20 to 24. The best thing they could do for their writing is go drive a truck or work high steel until they're on the cusp of 30 and get some life experience worth putting on paper.)
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FloridaJudy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-27-11 06:59 PM
Response to Original message
6. These are priceless. Thanks! eom
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snagglepuss Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-27-11 07:06 PM
Response to Original message
7. OMG hysterical. "The rebel and onion armies showed grose negligence by
having many of their battles right inside national parks, like Gettysburg."


:rofl:

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FloridaJudy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-28-11 01:28 AM
Response to Reply #7
9. Spellcheck won't catch a mistake like "Onion Army"
Since they're both real words, and spelled correctly. That's why it's important to proofread, though the image of a bunch of soldiers walloping each other with scallions and leeks is a wonderfully Pythonesque absurdity.

Almost as good as that octopus with its testicles wrapped around the world.
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WolverineDG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-28-11 11:51 AM
Response to Reply #7
19. that one got me too
:rofl:

dg
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csziggy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-27-11 07:11 PM
Response to Original message
8. This student got this one right (other than grammar)
Edited on Sat Aug-27-11 07:11 PM by csziggy
An example of a white collar crime is someone who works for Bank of America.
http://shitmystudentswrite.tumblr.com/post/3149408249/t...
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petronius Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-28-11 01:43 AM
Response to Original message
10. I can't see what's wrong with this one:
"Hamiltons theory of inclusive fitness helps explain how parents can be so selfless and supportive of such greedy little parasites."

;)
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krispos42 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-28-11 01:44 AM
Response to Original message
11. I had no idea there were different races of bagels.
And that, right there, is a sentence that I NEVER thought I'd see...
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Systematic Chaos Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-28-11 04:03 AM
Response to Original message
12. Zero activity since April of this year.
I hope this doesn't mean there won't be more with a new semester starting.

It's appalling just how functionally illiterate and weak in critical thinking skills a lot of today's students are. :(
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ashling Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-28-11 08:21 AM
Response to Reply #12
16. As a teacher
Edited on Sun Aug-28-11 08:25 AM by ashling
I would not post these here. Students have intellectual rights to their work, so it tis technically plagiarism. As hard as I work to make sure that my students know what plagiarism is ...
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snagglepuss Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-28-11 12:22 PM
Response to Reply #16
21. If a teacher is simply quoting a sentence or two that would be fair use would it not?
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LeftishBrit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-28-11 04:44 AM
Response to Original message
13. A few that I've seen from students from British universities
'On rare occasions a child is brought up as a wolf this tells us a lot about social development' (with no punctuation and no further explanation).

'In the 1940s, Anna Freud wrote about adolescent obsessions with such things as....video games'.

(In an essay on infant perception): 'Historically the main debate has been between the empiricists and the *naturists*'.

'According to the behaviourists, language is acquired post-natally.'

'Piaget did not use enough participants in his experiments, because he only had three children.'

'A good teacher has to be able to watch his tongues.'

'Freud was the first theorist to use defense mechanisms.'



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Syrinx Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-28-11 05:22 AM
Response to Original message
14. so the people on Leno's "Jay Walking" are real?
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livetohike Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-28-11 07:08 AM
Response to Original message
15. Thanks for the laugh! Bookmarking the site now
:hi:
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kayakjohnny Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-28-11 11:40 AM
Response to Original message
17. Here's a beauty....
Sodom and Gomorrah really blew the lid off the sexual revolution for people to be more experimental with sex, and the gays getting to have some. But Jesus put a stop to that!
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kayakjohnny Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-28-11 11:42 AM
Response to Original message
18. Another....
Globalization is a word combined from the two words global and ization.
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snagglepuss Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-28-11 12:20 PM
Response to Original message
20. The examples are hysterical but it's concerning that people with so little
intelligence make it to college. If the examples were simply grammar and/or spelling errors, I wouldn't be so alarmed but most show an inability to reason, at what I would consider to be the most basic level.
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bluesbassman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-28-11 12:27 PM
Response to Original message
22. "Its not really plagiarism as it was exactly what I was going to write anyway".
Well duh, any fool could see that! :rofl:
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rurallib Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-28-11 12:34 PM
Response to Original message
23. "Some people are born with ambitious genitalia"
I see nothing wrong with that. A very astute observation, I would say.
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woo me with science Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-28-11 12:41 PM
Response to Original message
24. "The octopus of apathy is spreading its testicles throughout the land."
:rofl:
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