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I was just outed to my uncle.

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ccharles000 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-11-11 03:56 PM
Original message
I was just outed to my uncle.
So me my sister,her boyfriend,and my uncle were sitting in the living room and he basically yells I can't wait until you get a boyfriend charlie. I have not told my uncle I'm gay because he is ultra conservative and I don't really want to hear it. My uncle did not say anything. My sisters boyfriend told me a few later he thought everyone knew and he was sorry so I'm not mad. I know my mom is going to freak because she asked me not to tell him until we all moved out ( she hate confrontation). The next few day are going to be awkward.
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Denninmi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-11-11 04:06 PM
Response to Original message
1. Well, I don't think you should have to deny who you are.
If he can't handle it, I say too bad. Life is too short to put up with people like that.
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Swede Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-11-11 04:09 PM
Response to Original message
2. Hopefully your uncle cares for you more than he does his archaic beliefs.
Dick Cheney did,why can't your uncle.
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ccharles000 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-11-11 04:12 PM
Response to Reply #2
4. ...
Maybe, he is a nice guy in general but he is one of the most conservative people I know. Just a couple of years ago he said that every Muslim in the world should be killed.
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Aristus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-11 11:56 AM
Response to Reply #4
19. He only said that because he doesn't know any Muslims.
He might hate gays because he thinks he doesn't know any. He may change his tune now that he knows about you. I'm not saying he will for sure. Real life is not a Hallmark Channel movie. But he might.

My wife is a conservative Republican. She used to be very strongly anti-gay rights. Then she met a colleague who is gay, a woman she likes and respects very much. She has softened her stance quite a bit. For example, her favorite character on 'Glee' is Kurt; her heart breaks for him every time he is snubbed, or bullied, or disrespected. She is realizing that her former antipathy was wrong, and she denied herself a great deal of richness by excluding people from her life for meaningless, arbitrary reasons.

I hope your uncle comes around.

Come what may, we at DU are with you, buddy... :fistbump:
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Tuesday Afternoon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-11-11 04:11 PM
Response to Original message
3. maybe you could try talking with him, when your Mom is there
hopefully, it will all settle down soon. good luck.
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redwitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-11-11 04:12 PM
Response to Original message
5. Opportunity knocking at the back door.
Edited on Sat Jun-11-11 04:15 PM by redwitch
:-) I know how hard it is, young friend of mine wants desperately to tell his family but is afraid. I think there must be a wee bit of relief? Now it's out there, he will respond how he will and you can stop trying to figure out how to do it. I have found lately (4 of my sons young friends, male and female, came out to everyone, consequences be damned) that it is sometimes an amazing and unexpected reaction. It's a chance too, for your uncle to join the real world. You are going to be just fine ccharles, be yourself and God bless!

Edited to add:
Sometimes when people find out that people they love are gay an epiphany occurs and they work at ridding themselves of their old beliefs. And the whole world heals a little bit. We need that!
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eShirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-11-11 06:19 PM
Response to Original message
6. if he didn't say anything, maybe he'll pretend he didn't hear it
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MrScorpio Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-11-11 06:29 PM
Response to Original message
7. If he really loves you...
It doesn't matter what his politics are

Just be the Charlie that you've always been to him
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provis99 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-11-11 11:25 PM
Response to Original message
8. what's really disgusting is that "coming out" is a controversy at all.
Edited on Sat Jun-11-11 11:26 PM by provis99
I'm sorry that your uncle has a problem (well, ultra-conservativism on the whole is a problem); maybe he'll grow a little bit emotionally now that he personally knows a gay person.
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Initech Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-11 01:14 AM
Response to Reply #8
11. Amen to that.
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hibbing Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-11 12:42 AM
Response to Original message
9. Where the heck have you been?
Hi,
I was wondering where the heck you have been, I have always enjoyed your posts and have not seen you around in the lounge for what seems like forever.

I have no advice or suggestions for the situation, beside you are who you are and like others have posted, maybe him realizing he actually knows someone (not like he doesn't already) that is gay will open his mind.

Good luck to you and don't be a stranger around here. Hang in there kiddo.

As always, peace
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Odin2005 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-11 01:03 AM
Response to Original message
10. Ugh, that sucks! I have the same issue "coming out" as an Atheist.
:(
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dimbear Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-11 01:48 AM
Response to Original message
12. Good luck, and you never can tell who's going to be cool about stuff.
Also, you never can tell who already knows. :)
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BlueIris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-11 04:45 AM
Response to Original message
13. Ugh. That kind of flub would make me *livid.*
Especially if it was a sister's boyfriend.
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eShirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-11 05:04 AM
Response to Original message
14. Let us know how it goes, ok?
:grouphug:
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StevesRedLens Donating Member (77 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-11 07:01 AM
Response to Original message
15. Sometimes better to just face a tough task sooner rather than later
It likely sounded like it might have been easier to do later but would have been hard then too. At least now it's done and you can be who you feel you really are. If he loves you, he will get over his prejudice and accept you for who you are.
Good luck and stay strong.
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lunatica Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-11 08:38 AM
Response to Original message
16. With your uncle it would have never been easy to come out
So be happy it's out now. If he wants to be mean about it then deal with that in whatever way you need to. You'll probably find that the rest of your family will defend you and that's good.

The snark in me would give you the advice that you should have answered him with, "I can hardly wait too." What I mean is don't let anyone ever put you on the defensive. You have nothing to explain or sell. You are who you are and be proud of it. Refuse to let anyone put you down.
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JohnnyLib2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-11 09:33 AM
Response to Original message
17. Sometimes family member see things differently at this point.

And let's hope your uncle is like that! :hug:
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Ohio Joe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-11 10:40 AM
Response to Original message
18. ugh... not a good situation
I hope it works out ok for you.
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libodem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-11 12:47 PM
Response to Original message
20. Glad you can share
We have your back. You need Lisa Lampinelly. We're here, we're queer, we take it up the rear!
Be proud.
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Forkboy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-11 02:45 PM
Response to Original message
21. Hope things don't get too rough for you.
Good luck with the situation.
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rurallib Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-11 08:35 PM
Response to Original message
22. Charles, we need an update - don't leave us hanging!
Good to see you back, kind of missed your posting.
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ccharles000 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-11 10:56 PM
Response to Reply #22
23. ...
Nothing much has happened he is just ignoring it. All he has done is just glare at me a few times. I think when I move out I will tell him and everybody else in my family that I have not told. I do feel better knowing that their are a lot of people out there that are supportive. my sis has really been there for me lately.
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applegrove Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-11 10:59 PM
Response to Original message
24. Looks like you handled that well. No surprise you are so grown up for your age... coming out is
huge (and hopefully soon it will be wonderful stuff you get to deal with).
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