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I just found out that a friend is an apocalyptic Christian

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Orrex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-06-11 11:49 PM
Original message
I just found out that a friend is an apocalyptic Christian
By that I mean one of those Christians who actually and sincerely believe that the world is literally going to end in about five weeks. I can't remember if the target date is May 11 or May 21, but it's around that range, and she firmly believes that it's going to happen. As a matter of fact, she's looking forward to it.

My first question to her: Why are you still going to work every day?

My second question: What are you going to do when you wake up the next day and find out that the world hasn't ended?
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LiberalAndProud Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 01:02 AM
Response to Original message
1. Are you going to call her on the 22nd and commiserate?
Left behind .... sad, oh so sad.
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dimbear Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 02:47 AM
Response to Reply #1
3. That's not necessarily a good idea. Not unless you want to hear how
the failure of the prophecy strengthened her faith.
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Deep13 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 09:43 AM
Response to Reply #3
14. Right. World ends = prophecy is right. ...
... World doesn't end = prayers answered, god is merciful.
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Arugula Latte Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 10:18 AM
Response to Reply #14
18. Funny how Gawd always comes out smelling like roses.
He smites ten thousand people, but a few survive, because of the strength of their faith and his "mercy." Oh, and Gawd is Love.

What utter crap it all is.
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KamaAina Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 11:09 AM
Response to Reply #3
23. Actually, May 21 is just the beginning
Edited on Thu Apr-07-11 11:10 AM by KamaAina
the actual end of the world isn't 'til October 21. May 21 is basically the deadline to make your reservations for Heaven. :eyes:
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hyphenate Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 01:33 AM
Response to Original message
2. They're great, aren't they?
Adorable, I say, adorable! A little too naive on the one hand, but a little too little of a brain on the other hand. They remind me of those kooky guys you'd see wearing the sandwich boards that read "the world is coming to an end."

Of course, the world IS going to come to an end. And I'm glad some people know that. But honestly, isn't it a little too early to be panicking over something that's gonna happen in aboue 10 billion years? :shrug:
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Paradoxical Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 02:48 AM
Response to Original message
4. I want them to give me all of their assets.
I mean, they don't really need them if they are going to get raptured.

:shrug:
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PassingFair Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 06:17 AM
Response to Original message
5. How did she answer?
And what kind of car does she have?
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hobbit709 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 06:50 AM
Response to Original message
6. Ask her to sign over all her assets.
If she balks, as her why she doubts.
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Ishoutandscream2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 08:58 AM
Response to Reply #6
11. LOL, naughty, naughty
Like how you think!
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Orsino Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 08:27 AM
Response to Original message
7. She's allowed to pretend to believe, and to hedge her bets.
Rather than trying to debunk a specific belief she professes, you might instead consider that she belongs to such a church for more practical reasons, such as fellowship and an exclusive sense of community.

Don't expect her to abandon that just because they get a date wrong (they can always put it off).
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LynneSin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 08:34 AM
Response to Original message
8. First get your dates straight - it's May 21st and that's only when Jesus is coming back to the earth
The world will actually end in October.
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redwitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 08:52 AM
Response to Reply #8
10. I want tickets and a backstage pass.
I want to surprise my husband, our anniversary is the 22nd and I want to get him something really special!
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LynneSin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 09:37 AM
Response to Reply #10
13. He's not Charlie Sheen - he doesn't have world tour dates or anything
sorry about that
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redwitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 10:12 AM
Response to Reply #13
17. Bummer.
Will he be doing any book signings?
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LeftinOH Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 08:50 AM
Response to Original message
9. Show up at her doorstep on the 22nd to rummage through her house for stuff you want,
and when she appears at the door, say "Oh, I didn't expect you to be here -did you get left behind?"
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LynneSin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 10:18 AM
Response to Reply #9
19. better yet, lay your clothes outside her house
lay them in a way to make it look like you've been raptured
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rrneck Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 10:59 AM
Response to Reply #19
21. Gah !
:rofl:
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LynneSin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 11:06 AM
Response to Reply #21
22. Make sure it's clothes she recognizes as yours
:rofl:
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rrneck Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 01:22 PM
Response to Reply #22
28. Get more and put 'em all over.
Everywhere she goes. Ten million YouTube hits guaranteed.
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snooper2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 09:02 AM
Response to Original message
12. At Midnight on the 20th you should sneak outside her home
have a boom box ready to play some crazy screams and explosions..

Bring a couple friends with high powered flashlights and start shining them in all the windows. Then randomly scream shit as well. Just make it up as you go...Sun Paper Water Tires Jesus Cube Aaargh!


That should be some good fun :)
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hobbit709 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 10:25 AM
Response to Reply #12
20. tie a glow stick to one of those inflatable sex dolls
Fill it with helium and let it go.
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 09:52 AM
Response to Original message
15. I wish those fuckers would get raptured, and get them out of our government and politics.
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geardaddy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 09:52 AM
Response to Original message
16. Apopleptic Christian
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Bake Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 12:42 PM
Response to Original message
24. Ask her if I can have all her stuff ...
Since she's not gonna need it, ya know ...

:hi:

Bake
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The Velveteen Ocelot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 12:50 PM
Response to Original message
25. I want to leave piles of clothes
complete with underwear and shoes, near fundie churches on that day. I think they are supposed to get raptured naked, and imagine their consternation when they see all these clothes on the ground...
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LynneSin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 01:27 PM
Response to Reply #25
29. Want to make it really realistic - leave a dog with a leash attached to it there too
because pets do not get raptured. I'd put a few dog treats in the pants pockets so the dog doesn't run away. But it'll look like you were raptured while walking the dog.

good stuff!
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ismnotwasm Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 12:50 PM
Response to Original message
26. In the year 2000
I took a snarky joy in informing those types that in ETHIOPIA (mentioned several times in the bible, even if it's not exactly the same-- people just hear the bible part and ignore history) they use a year system several times behind ours. Currently it's the year 2003.
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UTUSN Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 01:16 PM
Response to Original message
27. I know a couple of them. They get fervent bliss when they talk about The End.
I ask them what makes them so happy about a supposedly cataclysmic event. They shut up.


Also, they talk glowingly about their pastors, like being enthralled at being followers. Recently one of their denominational pastors but from a neighboring town was arrested for paying contract killers to kill his wife for her insurance policy. My pals haven't peeped about it.
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eppur_se_muova Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-10-11 09:22 AM
Response to Original message
30. Just remember to say "better luck next time". nt
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