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So, does this sound like a sociopath to you?

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HEyHEY Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-06-11 12:12 AM
Original message
So, does this sound like a sociopath to you?
At my wedding a friend's girlfriend was sitting with my buddy, he was kind of ignoring her as we don't like her much. So, she says "I'm going to burn you with this cigar," then presses it to his face, burning him. He ran to the washroom to put water on it. She seemed to think it was funny. She was very drunk too.

It was totally unprovoked and the man she did it to is one of the nicest people ever. He even forgave her that night.

My friend who is the woman's BF is likely going to dump her, she's done this kind of stuff before, not physical assault, but been a drunken asshole. I think he's had enough. I saw the burned guy last night, it looks really bad, but the doctor says it shouldn't scar permanently.

I think that's beyond drunk, I think she's a sociopath, anyone with education in this matter wanna weigh in?
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Wldcard3 Donating Member (28 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-06-11 12:15 AM
Response to Original message
1. I am not educated in this matter....
but she does sound like a sociopath. She needs to be the center of attention and feels that even negative attention is still attention. I would get your friend out of that situation as soon as possible, if you can
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HEyHEY Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-06-11 12:16 AM
Response to Reply #1
3. Yeah, he's already on it.
Last time she did it she was just being an idiot so we shrugged it off, this time it's beyond ignoring.
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Beaverhausen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-06-11 12:16 AM
Response to Original message
2. Well I don't know anything about anything, but I've been around lots of drunks
and as bad as they may be, they don't physically harm someone just for a laugh. In my uneducated opinion, that woman has a major problem.
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Lindsey Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-06-11 12:45 AM
Response to Reply #2
6. Whoa....IMO she should be arrested for friggin' assalt.....I don't
know about her being a Sociopath but she's incredibly disturbed, probably has Borderline Personality Disorder, and is definitely dangerous. It's unimaginable to believe someone would do this. I've come a very long way regarding judging people, but what in the world is your friend doing with this freak????????????????? He needs to get out NOW before she gets pregnant or something. I don't mean to sound harsh but your pal really needs therapy to figure out why in the Hell he's with this nutcase. I'm sure you and others have talked until you're blue in the face about his situation. Man oh man.......
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HEyHEY Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-06-11 01:01 AM
Response to Reply #6
7. Well, it wasn't to him, it was to someone else
So he's not being domestically abused, but I would certainly leave if I were him. You can't be with someone like that. And, yes, I really think she should have been charged with assault. I'm amazed the victim didn't press charges.
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chollybocker Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-06-11 12:29 AM
Response to Original message
4. Yeesh.
I wonder what the reaction would have been if the genders were reversed. (?)

Tell your friend that his girlfriend is no longer invited to your functions; let your friend decide for himself how much abuse he's willing to take in his relationship with her.
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HEyHEY Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-06-11 12:30 AM
Response to Reply #4
5. Well, I saw him the other night and it sounds like he's gonna get rid of her
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Skittles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-06-11 02:44 AM
Response to Original message
8. that gal needs help
seriously
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LeftishBrit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-06-11 03:15 AM
Response to Original message
9. Wow
Whether a sociopath or not, she doesn't sound like a safe person to have in one's life. I hope your friend doesn't stay with her. If she can do this to a casual acquaintance for no reason, goodness knows what she could do to her boyfriend if she got angry with him.

I've known people to do some pretty strange things when drunk, but inflicting cigar burns just for fun is not one of them. This is more than a problem with alcohol.
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sarge43 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-06-11 06:12 AM
Response to Original message
10. Alcohol isn't a creative force. It can remove inhibitions.
Sociopath or not, if she can physically assault someone when drunk, she's dangerous. You and your friends should get the hell away from her. Until she's willing to get help, if ever, there's not much you can do for her.
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JustABozoOnThisBus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-06-11 06:12 AM
Response to Original message
11. People still smoke cigars at weddings? Inside?
Around my area, you have to go outside to smoke. You're in a much more civilized area, I see.

Anyway, tell your buddy to pay more attention to the lady with the cigar. It's not polite to ignore people.

:hi:

(this advice is given "tongue-in-cheek", so to speak)
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Orrex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-06-11 07:30 AM
Response to Original message
12. Maybe he preferred to spend time with his family
Wait, wrong thread.
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MrScorpio Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-06-11 08:14 AM
Response to Original message
13. She does...
However, if she had done that to me, I would have had to summon every iota of self control to NOT punch her in her fucking face.

Girl or no girl, that was some crazy shit.
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Taitertots Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-06-11 09:11 AM
Response to Original message
14. Why didn't you call the police and have her arrested?
Sounds like she is just used to people letting her get away with abusing them like that.
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HEyHEY Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-06-11 09:18 AM
Response to Reply #14
15. Not my decision, the guy she assaulted should have though
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raccoon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-06-11 09:31 AM
Response to Original message
16. She's an abusive creep. He should get rid of her. How someone treats other

people is a good indicator of how they'll treat you on down the line.

I wish that man had pressed criminal charges against the crazy woman.


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Deep13 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-06-11 09:41 AM
Response to Original message
17. Felony assault. Real personality problems whatever the diagnosis. nt
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applegrove Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-06-11 08:24 PM
Response to Original message
18. Could very well be. Irregardless she needs to be kicked to the curb because one way or another she
is ****ed up.
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kimi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-06-11 08:33 PM
Response to Original message
19. Oh my
I was just looking at the pics of your lovely ceremonies again before I read this. I do hope this didn't impact on your and your sweet wife's beautiful day. Don't have the expertise of saying whether or not she's sociopathic, but she's got major issues, and it's not healthy to have her around. That being said, if your friend breaks with her - sounds like he's going to - he can probably expect some problems in the process. I hope he's able to handle the stuff that might be coming up.
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HEyHEY Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-06-11 10:43 PM
Response to Reply #19
20. My wife didn't even know about it till the next day
Haven't seen my buddy though, not sure what he's done
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pacalo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-06-11 11:07 PM
Response to Original message
21. Yikes! Wonder how she feels about what Lorena Bobbitt did? Weird-o-rama.
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nolabear Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-06-11 11:54 PM
Response to Original message
22. I am educated in these matters.
Not enough information. I'm more curious about the guy who's still with her.
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Lindsey Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 12:39 AM
Response to Reply #22
24. I am also curious about him. I wonder what got him to this place...
Edited on Thu Apr-07-11 12:39 AM by Lindsey
I know it sounds corny but the thing that comes to mind first is that he's got really low self-esteem. Who know what's happened in his life.....And, as much of a frightful person she is,I can't help but wonder what's happened to her. I'm a social worker so I guess I naturally go there when I hear about these kinds of things....
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petronius Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 12:35 AM
Response to Original message
23. Definitely tink the friend should dump her, and that he should put some serious thought into
the break-up plan - sounds like it could get scary.

Congrats on the wedding! Glad this didn't mar the occasion (and that the victim will recover cleanly...)
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Zorra Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 12:56 AM
Response to Original message
25. I lived with someone that turned into a certifiable demon when drunk.
Complete Jekyl-Hyde thing.

He was beautiful, brilliant, talented, kind, considerate, generous, and would literally not hurt a fly when sober (he would catch them and take them outside and let them fly away). He had the proverbial heart of gold.

When drunk, he was capable of absolutely anything, because he was so out of it he didn't know what he was doing, and I really believe that. It was obvious.

The next day he would not remember anything.

He didn't drink all the time. Sometimes he'd go a week without drinking. I asked him repeatedly to stop drinking, to try AA, and he always said he could learn to control it, and that if I loved him, I would except it.

I finally had to leave, it was too crazy. It was very sad.

Alcohol affects people in many different ways.
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davsand Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 12:56 PM
Response to Original message
26. I think any diagnosis probably would need to be based on extended observation.
Most folks with advanced training in this subject will probably tell you that the one incident in isolation is not enough to establish a pattern of behaviors.

I think you (and everyone else in this thread, for that matter...) are justified in saying that is an act that makes everyone feel VERY uncomfortable, and I think you are more than justified in telling your pal you'd rather he not bring her to any more social events you host. I think you have EVERY right to not be in the presence of this person if she makes you feel uncomfortable in any way. I also think it is just fine to talk to your friend about his interaction with this person and how it makes him feel. Much beyond that, however, is probably not a place you have much right to enter.

Sorry. JMHO.



Laura
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blueknight Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 08:11 PM
Response to Reply #26
27. SHES A FUCKING NUT!
and i would have punched her in the face and broke her fucking jaw
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