If I had a hammer...

[absyntheNsugar]

I'd hammer in the morning
Then I'd take a nap

[DarkPhenyx]

1. Screw the hammering.

Go straight to the nap.

[Career Prole]

7. You can't screw hammering...

...but you can hammer screwing.

[Career Prole]

9. Ahem. On rereading I guess I should point out

that I'm talking about screwdrivers and hammers. :)

[TinaTyson]

2. Thats the thing.

Once you get the hammer, it just isn't all that interesting anymore.

At first you have all these big plans to hammer in the morning and the evening and all across the land. After a couple hours you are like "This is boring. What a stupid idea."

[absyntheNsugar]

3. But what about when you start hammering out justice?

Its gotta get kind of fun then...

[DrWeird]

4. Well did he ever return?

no he never returned
And his fate is still unlearned

HE MAY RIDE FOREVER!

He may ride forever 'neath the streets of Boston
He's the man who never returned

[osaMABUSh]

5. Ellen Degeneris does a stand up routine based on that song

She kind of deadpans through the lyrics and ad libs about the stupidity of the song. It's funny.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

6. If I had a hammer right now

I would bash the head of every freeper that posts on DU and a few dysfunctional fuckheads that just have to shit all over this place with their fucked up personal lives.

I'm so over selfish assholes today.

[absyntheNsugar]

10. Wow! Um...should I stay away from power tools?

yikes

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

11. If I had a jackhammer

I could do so much good

[JohnnyFianna1]

8. Kick