talk to me please

[backwoodsbob]

14 funerals in 18 months..I can't take this shit.I'm about to explode.I just want to rip the world apart right now.God DAMNIT I'm tired of burying people.
Now my brother has this nasty ass disease and may lose his feet and could die..I'm sick of it.I can't take much more.

Tell me it will be ok.

[abq e streeter]

1. I don't know what to say, or what the definition of OK is...

so I don't know if I can tell you it'll be 'OK"......but I hope that knowing that there are complete strangers, myself being but one, that genuinely care, will make this awful time in your life a tiny bit easier to bear. And you know what, it will be OK; I don't know how or when, nor can I prove it, but I do believe it.

[trof]

2. That's way too many.

And I assume you're way too young to be going through this.
I'm at an age where I attend more and more funerals of friends and family.
And someday, whoever is left will be attending mine.
Sorry you're having a rough spot.

[backwoodsbob]

3. I'm 46

the one we buried today was 31

[dawg]

4. Sorry bob

I truly believe that there is way more than just this brief, ephemeral existence.

:hug:

[backwoodsbob]

5. I'll probably, regret making this thread tomorrow once I sober up

but it makes me feel better right now.Just need to put it out there..I've held in so much pain and this one hit me bad after the funeral.

I'm so sick of burying people and now burying one of my inner circle today....it hurts..bad

[Inchworm]

6. It will be ok.

:hug:

I hope -you- are ok.

:hug:

[MiddleFingerMom]

7. I get too wordy. I'll try not to. See what you can do to channel YOUR pain and grief...

.
.
...into some positive energy and efforts for those who are surviving (like your brother) and for
others who have also experienced loss.
.
Sometimes people can become so overwhelmed with their grief and trials that they become helpless.
Sometimes just stopping by and saying hello... letting them know that someone knows that they
are still here... or making sure they're eating and sleeping as well as they possibly can -- offering
to do some grocery shopping or a couple of loads of laundry. I think, even if in some insignificant
way (but gathering strength in incremental ways), that may also help you.
.
.
It won't make sense of things -- but we try to do what we can and try to focus on that which
CAN be done -- even if it's simple necessities.
.
YOU try to eat well and get what sleep and rest that you can. Try to find something in which
you can lose yourself... at least for a little while -- give YOURSELF a chance to regain some of
YOUR energy, too.
.
.
I don't know if you believe in vibes, but I do and you have mine coming your way -- as well as
those of many who will read this.
.
.
You have friends and people who care about you.
.
.
I wish you well and I hope you can eventually find some sort of peace.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
(on edit) That was me, BTW... not getting wordy. Be well.
.
.
.

[backwoodsbob]

11. thank you middlefingermom

I'm going to bed.

Damnit it hurts right now.I know I'll be alright in a few days.I've just been through SO MANY deaths lately and now my brothers situation..it just..I just needed to vent.

Basically I just needed a shoulder to cry on and my wife is at work and everyone else around me has died :).I didn't feel like the whole sitting around his house getting drunk like others are doing and had to get it out

Thank you

[backwoodsbob]

12. and redwitch..thank you

for the words..the PM's...I'll be ok.I just have had a REALLY bad day.

I'm about too drunk to care at this point.I thank all of you for your kind words..thank you.

I'm going to go to bed before I make a bigger fool of myself :)

[Curmudgeoness]

8. I am so sorry, and do hope that it will be ok. Remember

that this is life, this is what happens. And too often.

You have been through many more funerals than any one person should have to in such a short time. For that, I have no words.

On a brighter side, this means that you have many friends and relatives who you care for, and who have cared for you. This is not a bad thing. The more people we have in our lives, the richer the life, but also the more sorrows over the years.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

9. I understand how you feel, only not on such a grand scale...

From the time I was a little child, my family has slowly been taken from my by death. It started with an uncle who was younger than my father who died of lung cancer. Then my grandparents, my cousin who was a year younger than me, my father, and my sister, who died in a fiery crash when she was 9 months pregnant. He didn't make it either. Then the last major death in my family was my mother in law who was the first person who, with no agenda or ulterior motive, loved me just because she wanted to. Not out of obligation. She was the first real mother I have ever known. Some days I still feel like I am missing a limb I miss her so much.
I am so terribly sorry you are going through this. It does get better. You will always have your moments, but if you hold on to the thought that they are always with you, that the more you live your life, they too get to live a life of sorts through you, and that those people that you love love you still and always, well, it always brings comfort to me. I kind of like the thought that I have a ton of people up in heaven waiting for me. We had to put my sweet baby cocker spaniel down a few weeks ago. I know that on the other side, my sweet boy was greeted by a family who brought him into the fold to love. I know it probably sounds silly that someone who isn't even sure that God exists believes in such things, but I find it comforting and that's the point. I hope somehow it comforts you as well.
If you need someone to talk to who understands, PM me. I'm here for ya. :hug:

[rbnyc]

10. I'm so sorry.

I wish I could say something that would actually help. All I can say is I'm glad that you are here and that you are strong enough to ask for support. This community is relay great at getting behind one of its own.

Somehow, you will arrive at the other side of this. I wish you love and strength and any pocket of serenity you can find from moment to moment.