Democratic Underground Latest Greatest Lobby Journals Search Options Help Login
Google

Have to take a drug test: should I use the hilarious "I didn't even study" joke on them?

Printer-friendly format Printer-friendly format
Printer-friendly format Email this thread to a friend
Printer-friendly format Bookmark this thread
This topic is archived.
Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU
 
Orrex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-29-10 11:40 AM
Original message
Poll question: Have to take a drug test: should I use the hilarious "I didn't even study" joke on them?

Sorry, polls are turned off at Level 3.

Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
TZ Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-29-10 11:56 AM
Response to Original message
1. No- go get one of these
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Orrex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-29-10 02:55 PM
Response to Reply #1
3. I want the one autographed and endorsed by Tom Sizemore
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
av8rdave Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-29-10 12:10 PM
Response to Original message
2. I don't say much when I get my random drug tests, but I can tell you what I'm thinking
"Hey, asswipes! Yeah, you...the ones who say you love the Constitution. F%$# you and the horse you rode in on. Nothing like a search and seizure without a warrant to finish up a trip. Oh yeah, and having to prove I'm innocent. I thought it was supposed to be the other way around. I'm not, and I never have been a drug user, but I have to prove it to you. Oh, and I especially like the complete lack of due process if you or the lab f%$# and it comes back positive. Guess you dropped out of high school before you took that civics class, didn't you Einstein? So please don't be offended if a significant portion of my sample winds up all over your face before it dribbles into that cup. Have a nice day!"

That's what I think. What I DO is smile, sign the paperwork, fill their little cup, and thank them for making the process quick.

End of rant. You should hear the guys and gals who have a strong opinion about this stuff!

Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
baldguy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-29-10 07:10 PM
Response to Original message
4. People who have to guard your pee rarely have a sense of humor.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
blogslut Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-29-10 07:15 PM
Response to Original message
5. You should totally wear a t-shirt that says:
"Only users lose drugs"
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
madinmaryland Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-29-10 08:03 PM
Response to Original message
6. Tell them the cup you were is given is too small as you normally fill one of those cups when
you blow a load.

:P

Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Orrex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-29-10 10:35 PM
Response to Reply #6
12. I have a pal who uses that line @ Starbucks all the time
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
whistler162 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-29-10 09:34 PM
Response to Original message
7. Nah bring a half eaten poppie seed bagel to the test.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Liberal Veteran Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-29-10 10:02 PM
Response to Original message
8. Ask them what a passing grade is.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
LostInAnomie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-29-10 10:20 PM
Response to Original message
9. Act confused, then take a shit in the cup.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
applegrove Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-29-10 10:28 PM
Response to Original message
10. My sister worked as a grounds keeper at a hotel. Sometimes she'd be picking up garbage. Inevitably
Edited on Wed Sep-29-10 10:28 PM by applegrove
some wit would come along and say "how's busines" - LOL! "Picking up!!!!!!!!!" LOL! They hated that.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Gormy Cuss Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-29-10 10:29 PM
Response to Original message
11. Ask for a pencil.
Tell them you forgot yours and can't take the test without it.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
zabet Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-30-10 01:48 AM
Response to Original message
13. Tell them
that you pee for enjoyment.....not for employment.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
wickerwoman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-30-10 02:00 AM
Response to Original message
14. Yes. They are profiting off the death of civil liberties in America.
F'em.

:evilgrin:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
DU AdBot (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view 
this author's profile Click to add 
this author to your buddy list Click to add 
this author to your Ignore list Tue Jul 22nd 2014, 04:10 PM
Response to Original message
Advertisements [?]
 Top

Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002 DCScripts.com
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators


Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.

Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals |  Store  |  Donate

About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy

Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.

© 2001 - 2011 Democratic Underground, LLC