CNN's "5 Tips For A Better Sandwich" article does NOT include "add bacon" as a tip.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

http://eatocracy.cnn.com/2010/09/22/55-chef-and-restaurant-partner-sisha-ortuzar/?hpt=C2

Five Tips to a Better Sandwich: Sisha Ortúzar

1. Don’t overthink
"Putting together a sandwich is no different than putting together any other meal. Think of that day-after-Thanksgiving sandwich you look forward to every year - roasted turkey, homemade cranberry sauce, leftover gravy. If you like it on a plate, it should work on a sandwich."

2. Don’t overstuff
"A little goes a long way - especially with flavorful ingredients. Our pole-caught tuna sandwich uses only four ounces of Sicilian tuna salad, which we complement with marinated fennel, niçoise olives and slices of lemon confit. Proper portioning allows each ingredient to come through in every single bite."

3. Don’t overdo
"Creating the right balance among your ingredients is key. Textures and flavors need to work together even in the simplest form. Take the BLT, where three humble ingredients come together to create an all-time favorite. Bacon provides crispy texture and salty flavor, Bibb lettuce brings a velvety crunch, and slices of beefsteak tomatoes – the real stars of the show – add some softness and round out the flavor."

4. Don’t over-toast
"Toast only one side of the bread. Namely, the side going on the inside of the sandwich. The toasted side will act as an insulator from wet ingredients and help the sandwich maintain structure. Equally as important - facing the untoasted side out will prevent you from scratching the roof of your mouth."

5. Don’t cut corners
"Buy great ingredients with a lot of flavor from great sources. Whenever possible, buy local, seasonal or handmade ingredients. If budget is a consideration, buy the best you can afford. Remember that quantity does not equal quality."

[jobycom]

1. 6 Don't add meat.

Well, works for me, anyway. :P

[kentauros]

21. Works for me, too!

Or I'll use some Tofurky :9

[Curmudgeoness]

2. But what about the bacon? nt

[triguy46]

3. There is only 1 tip needed: No mayo.

Nastiest concoction ever invented.

[name not needed]

6. Ack.

I can do flavored mayo, but the regular stuff? :puke:

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

12. No, mayo is fine. No Miracle Whip.

That stuff is the spooge of Satan.

[fizzgig]

18. miracle whip is an abomination

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

35. Miracle Whip on a sandwich makes Baby Jesus cry (nt)

[old mark]

38. Him and me, too...hang in, lil' J...nt

[uncommon]

23. Fail. Mayo makes almost any sandwich much better.

[triguy46]

28. No. It is a retch inducing concoction. The smell is the worst of it.

[uncommon]

36. Incorrect.

:)

[KamaAina]

29. Corollary: No mustard.

Both should be classified as weapons of mass destruction. :puke:

[Odin2005]

32. Nonsense! Mustard is da BOMB!!!

[KamaAina]

43. In a way, this is oddly reassuring.

More proof that you are not, in fact, my doppelganger.

[jmowreader]

46. But only if it is the RIGHT mustard!

Yellow mustard? Someone should drop a bomb on the recipe as a warning to the others.

Gulden's Spicy Brown Mustard, OTOH, is the nectar of the gods.

And as for Grey Poupon...they are correct on two counts: it is grey and it tastes like you put poup on whatever you're attempting to eat.

[Odin2005]

31. +1,000,000,000,000,000,000

:applause:

[applegrove]

4. Did they mention baconesque?

[Amerigo Vespucci]

5. The article was virtually nitrate-free...

...it was almost as if it were written by someone in Al Qaeda or something.

:rofl:

[pitohui]

7. then what good is it? EOM

.

[petronius]

8. Is "scratching the roof of your mouth" a major problem?

:shrug:

I can't say I've ever had that particular injury...

[noamnety]

10. I have! I hate toasted buns for just that reason.

Anyone else find this funny?

"1. Don’t overthink ...

2. ... marinated fennel ... slices of lemon confit."

I'd hate to see how that tuna salad sandwich would turn out if they DID overthink it.

[petronius]

19. Yeah, I noticed that too. It seems that most bits of cooking advice involving

the words "keep it simple" and "don't overthink" are anything but (especially when the advice comes from foodie-types). :rofl:

But then, my definition of "simple" is positively primitive - if it involves chopping, mixing, or heating it's not simple to me...

[kentauros]

24. It's not that "chopping, mixing, or heating" isn't simple;

it's that it isn't easy :P

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

13. How do you toast just one side of a slice of bread?

I don't think my toaster will do that.

[petronius]

20. I wondered that - I think my toaster oven would do it if I used the broil setting,

but I've never tried. Time for some experimenting (to hell with work!)...

[kentauros]

25. The heating element on an electric stove will do that

as will any pan set on it. Or do your grilled cheese sandwiches get toasted on the inside, too? :P

[Swede]

9. Then what good are these tips?

[A HERETIC I AM]

11. Exactly. This is obviously flawed. n/t

[Kali]

41. that sandwich would be better if you added some bacon

:9

[Lucian]

14. Bacon ruins everything now.

It's so overdone...c'mon people. Come up with something different already.

[Swede]

15. It's okay raw,too.

But fried is much better.

[sohndrsmith]

16. non mention of Tabasco? Or heat of any sort? This is boilerplate pablum...

Gets recycled every few years when they need to fill space, no?

: )

[quakerboy]

17. Its worse than that. Far worse

The mention bacon, but then try to claim Tomato as the "star of the show". Bastards. Unmitigated gall. Sputter. bah.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

22. The only proper sandwich for bacon is a BLT.

Anything else dilutes the majesty of bacon.

[Fleshdancer]

26. so they tell you to not overthink it...

but then they add all the other stupid sandwich rules that make people overthink it! Don't overstuff, overdo, over-toast, or cut corners??

How about just throw stuff between two pieces of bread and call it a day. Oh, and totally add bacon. :D

[struggle4progress]

27. Fuggin county's goin t'hell inna handbasket if folks today needs t'be told how t'make a sammich

What kinda sorry-ass fools is gonna gotta look on th'fuggin innernet t'larn em how to slap some stuff between a coupla slices a bread?

"Scuse me, dear, could ya get on mapquest and get us some directions fer driving over t'th'neighbors place two or three houses down whilst I googles how t'make me a sammich?"

Back in the day when I was comin up and wanted me a sammich ... hold on a minute -- there are some kids on my lawn

[Odin2005]

30. Hummus with a little Wasabi makes any sammich better!

[ThomCat]

33. Hummus, shredded spinach, black olives, and hot sauce.

:9

or, Hummus, shredded veggie slaw, fresh basil and dill, and a tiny dash of oil and vinegar!

That's a great sandwich! :)

[RandomThoughts]

34. Bacon is thought bad by some

Becuase pork is unclean according to old laws.

Imagine creating an entire concept of what is right or wrong from a material meal, a food product.

Imagine the insanity of somehow relating your spiritual existence having to do with some food you eat in bodily mortal form.

The concept of not eating pork, is a complete misunderstand of how that law was created.

If it wasn't so sad it would be funny.

If you want to extrapolate some deeper meaning to that concept, maybe how they are raised, or how they eat as some metaphor, you could create some lessons on how to live.

But not eating pork as some spiritual thing really doesn't make much sense.


Unless you personally do not eat pork to honor God then that would honor God. However if a person ate pork to honor God, it would also honor God.



Side note, other cultures other then those that oversaw the writing of those laws, raised pigs as a primary livestock, and uncooked pork also has more health issues then some other animals. What do shellfish and pork have in common? If not cooked right they can cause illness. So for a society without knowing that, a law not to eat it would be helpful, maybe with a change in societal knowledge of such things, the law would make more sense to speak now about how you prepare pork or shell fish.


You could actually compare some of the conflicts with pig farmers back then with some of the sheep and cattle farmer conflicts in the west a few hundred years ago.

[krispos42]

37. If we made/bred a pig that chewed its cud, it would be kosher.

Mmmmm... sinless bacon.

[RandomThoughts]

45. And if you think you can decide what people are like pigs, and spiritualy unclean.

You may be claiming that you have the knowledge of good and evil... Although it makes sense for people to express what they think is best, and what the feel is best for them by their experiences.

You use both the cow and pig reference, and a vomit reference in a very witty way, great comment. Although I personally don't like animal comparisons to groups. Nor food comparisons to actions. But some think in those ways, that is a choice also.

[krispos42]

39. Oh, forgot this graph as well...

[Renew Deal]

40. I disagree with #2

Overstuffing is one of the best parts.

And I agree. Add bacon should replace it.

[Kali]

42. keep it simple and then read # 2??

pole-caught tuna
four ounces of Sicilian tuna salad
marinated fennel
niçoise olives
slices of lemon confit (WTF is that?)

[Amerigo Vespucci]

44. Quartered lemons, put in a jar for 2 weeks with salt and sugar

http://thebittenword.typepad.com/thebittenword/2009/08/lemon-confit.html

...seriously. Put THAT crap on a SANDWICH?

[Dr Morbius]

47. Five tips?

1. Great sandwiches start with great bread. If the word "bread" to you conjures up images of something square, white and tasteless, you need to get out more. Great bread has flavor; great bread has texture; great bread is fresh. Start with great bread if you want a great sandwich.

Um, that's all I've got.