Sometimes, the best reaction is no reaction at all.

[kayakjohnny]

As I've gotten older (53) I've learned that I have a choice in dealing with the people who come in and out of my life, or with those who are always there.

In the old days, I had a temper and probably a weaker ego. Or a more vulnerable one.

These days, when something happens that normally would have sparked a severe reaction, I try instead to step back, give myself a moment and just breathe a little.

And then consider how much of my reaction will be strictly ego-based and how much will be based in common sense or at the very least a measured tone of calm and understanding.

I find that the more I'm able to do this, the better the outcome.

It's not easy. It takes practice and it takes believing that it works.

People are high-strung, they are desperate, they are fearful. And if I return those traits back to them during the daily interactions that we all go through, then the situation seems to stalemate or even to degrade.

So, maybe during the past year or so, I've decided to train myself to have no immediate reaction at all, if possible, when highly emotional situations arise, especially if the other person is at or near a breaking point to begin with.

It seems to work for now. It buys some time. And I approach it with the premise that there are a whole lot of things in life that just don't matter after a point. In the long run at least.

It's easier to set my emotions and my ego aside during confrontations and situations where it's obvious that neither of us will fare well in the face of continued battle.

Many times, the issue isn't worth continued battle anyway.

That's where I'm willing to give.

To think for a moment.

To breathe.



I suppose that there are a few perks to the aging process.

[Curmudgeoness]

1. Hmmm, the older I get, the more I am willing to get into

highly emotional situations. I think for me it has to do with having more confidence than I had in the past. I was always thinking that my opinion did not count or that I was not smart enough or knowledgeable enough to chime in. I now believe that my opinion is no better or worse than anyone else's opinion, and if they are willing to put their two cents in, so am I.

[kayakjohnny]

2. Well, there is that side of it too. The clock is ticking on us all and why not jump into a few

fights every once in a while. I can see that.

I just can't always bring myself to do it.

Some shit gets out of control so quick... now I'm in the emergency room, PD, court.

Arrrrgggg......

[Curmudgeoness]

3. OK, I follow your thinking. There are things that are just not worth

all the effort you have to expend. Yes, I am there too.