LEAST POPULAR CHILDREN'S BOOK TITLES

[CapnJackSparrow]

"You Cry, so Mom and I are Getting a Divorce"

"Your Dead Pet and Decomposition"

"The Jack the Ripper Popup Book"

[Rabrrrrrr]

1. "God hates you because you are bad"

[GOPisEvil]

2. You are the reason Daddy drinks.

[Rabrrrrrr]

3. Quick ID book of top 500 monster types under your bed waiting to kill you"

[muriel_volestrangler]

57. It's Not the Monsters Under the Bed

They're not Real; It's the Burglars Coming Through the Window You Need To Worry About

[Rabrrrrrr]

60. Your mother has hired a "burglar" to kill you tonight

[Heyo]

4. Here is the original list of these folks....

You Are Different and That's Bad

The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables

Dad's New Wife Robert

Fun Four-letter Words to Know and Share

Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An I-Can-Do-It Book

The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking

Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her

Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence

All Cats Go to Hell

The Little Sissy Who Snitched

Some Kittens Can Fly

That's It, I'm Putting You Up for Adoption

Grandpa Gets a Casket

The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator

Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia

The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy

Strangers Have the Best Candy

Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way

You Were an Accident

Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will

Pop! Goes The Hamster...And Other Great Microwave Games

The Man in the Moon Is Actually Satan

Your Nightmares Are Real

Where Would You Like to Be Buried?

Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School

Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?

Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things

Daddy Drinks Because You Cry


Heyo

[Endangered Specie]

29. Santa is a fiction invented by coporate greed.

[TXlib]

5. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator

[Khephra]

6. "Baby's First Book On Satan"

[TXlib]

7. Tha Man From NAMBLA

[Rabrrrrrr]

8. The Bad Parts of Your Body and why you shouldn't touch them. Ever.

[BigMcLargehuge]

9. Spilled milk means an eternity in Hell, (and other fundamentalist tales)

Mommy likes you but she likes booze more.

Muffy the friendly cat meets Mr. Tractor-trailer

[Rabrrrrrr]

10. The Importance of Accepting Rides from Strangers

[Westegg]

11. Your Dad Touched Me In a Bad Place(So I Can't Be Your Friend)

[Liberal Veteran]

12. How Grandma is feeding the worms....

:)

[Khephra]

13. "Green Eggs And Son of Sam"

[Rabrrrrrr]

14. "Your Parents are Bankrupt? Selling Yourself Survival Guide"

[ornotna]

15. Everyone Poops

The best part is, this is a real book. :)

[Rabrrrrrr]

17. Then it's perhaps NOT a least popular, eh?

I've read that book - and it is quite good! The Japanese make a lot of wonderful books for children about sexuality, bodies, and bodily functions, in which things are spelled out honestly and forthrightly (and appropriately as well, of course). Stuff would make right wing Christians apoplectic if they saw it.

[ornotna]

19. I'm sure it's a very good book

unfortunately with the mindset of a great deal of this country it's probably not as popular as it should be.

[On the Road]

45. I Had That Book -- It's Good

When my daughter was 6 or 7, she insisted that her grandmother (my fundamentalist mother) read this book to her before bed. I thought it was hilarious. My mother was a good sport but told me later that saying "that word" to a child was very difficult for her.

[DBoon]

21. "Walter, the farting dog"

[Roaming]

26. Just read that one over the weekend--hilarious!!

[DBoon]

23. The Gas We Pass

[Liberal Veteran]

16. The Candy Mom Hides in the Medicine Cabinet

[Liberal Veteran]

18. The Farm we Sent Fluffy to

This is fun

[BigMcLargehuge]

20. Adolph and the Purple Crayon

What makes Kitty Purr? A Childrens Primer on Vivisecion

So you've found Daddy's Porn Stash

Mommy and the Cable Installer, Shhhh don't tell Daddy!

[ET Awful]

22. How to Make a Sail Cat in 5 easy lessons.

[Westegg]

24. "All Shadows Are Monsters Who Want To Eat You..."

"Or...There's No Escape From the Shadows Who Want To Eat You. Your Mommmy and Daddy Know This But they Don't Care!"

[BurtWorm]

25. Wake Up and Smell the Chocolate Milk: Life Really Sucks

"A wake-up call for toddlers who think life is just bunnies and kitties and crayons and hugs and other cute shit like that." Misanthrope Monthly

[LynneSin]

27. Fun Minimum Wages jobs you'll have in 10 years

:shrug:

[BringEmOn]

28. 100 Fun Animals You Can Make

With the Balloons in Mommy and Daddy's Nightstand

[Westegg]

49. I used to fill them "ballons" up with water in the bathtub...

...and ask my dad why he had balloons in his night-stand. He gave me the boiler-plate: "You'll understand when you're older."

Well, I'm almost 40 now, and I still don't get it. Should I call my dad and ask? Why the mystery over these balloons, other than the obvious fact that they were clearly special and well-made. They contained so much more water than the standard-issue ballons I got at the corner market. Am I missing something???

[Rabrrrrrr]

61. It's just that adults enjoy, and prefer, a higher tensile strength

water balloon, so that they can throw REALLY big balloons at each other.

At least as far as I know.

Why - are you suspicious there might be another use for them?

[TahitiNut]

56. You Really Can Fly (If You Start High Enough)

[ronnykmarshall]

30. You Cat Didn't Run Away, Mommy Killed Him.

[Endangered Specie]

31. How to crack your fathers gun safe (and other small arms information)

[Buns_of_Fire]

32. "Fido and the Wood Chipper"

"Kermit the Frog and the Blender of Doom"

[ronnykmarshall]

33. Daddy's New Family, He Likes Them Better

[Endangered Specie]

34. What Mommy and Daddy do during private time.

[Tummler]

35. "Nobody Poops But You"

Credit The Family Guy for that one.

[BurtWorm]

36. Free Republic Jr. Series: Immigrants Are Not My Friend

[BurtWorm]

40. Free Republic Jr: DemonCRAPs Are Sissies

[Liberal Veteran]

41. Free Republic Jr: Little Jimmy Calls The Feds on His Commie Neighbors

:)

[Endangered Specie]

52. Free Republic Jr singalong series: Big Smile, Seig Heil!

[BurtWorm]

70. Free Republic Jr. Biographies: B.J. Klintoon: Evil Boy from Hope

[everythingsxen]

37. Supercharge! - Baby's first time sticking a fork in a wall socket

My first chemistry set - fun chemicals you can mix around the house!

Bush - Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Fuhrer!

[Endangered Specie]

38. Fun things to light with matches

[BurtWorm]

39. Sculpting with Doody: Fun Crafts for the Potty Training Child

[Buns_of_Fire]

42. (We're all going straight to hell for this, aren't we?)

"The Complete Children's Guide to Masturbation"

[BurtWorm]

43. Little Johnny Jackoff and his Five Friends

;)

PS: And for the girls: Mr. Cucumber and My Secret Place

[everythingsxen]

44. The Pop-up Kama-Sutra!

Oh wait thats real... ROFL!

[NightTrain]

46. Curious George and the Electric Fence

n/t

[geniph]

47. Mommy's New Boyfriend, Uncle Billy-Bob

(subtitled Get Me Another F***ing Beer, You Useless Brat)

There Is Too Something In Your Closet (or under your bed)

If You Go To the Restroom On A Trip, Mommy Will Drive Off and Leave You (this was my big paranoia as a kid, and I still don't know why)

Enjoying The Lasting Memories of School Incontinence and Vomiting

Licking Yourself in Front of Company (part of The Dog Does It, So Why Can't I series)

You're the Kid Who Smells Funny

Why We Don't Like the New Kid

Putting Beans In Your Nose, and other anatomical explorations

Your Big Sister Will Kill You Someday

[Roon]

48. Strangers have the best candy

Bi-Curious George.

[Liberal Veteran]

50. Mr. Boston's Under the Kitchen Cabinet Kiddie Cocktails

:)

[Endangered Specie]

51. So why does mom have the plumber over 5 days a week?

[Endangered Specie]

53. things you will learn in band camp

[TahitiNut]

54. Sniffing Glue Is Better Than Eating Paste

[TahitiNut]

55. All The Yummy Stuff Under The Kitchen Sink

[scottcsmith]

58. These titles never had a chance

Finger-painting with blood
William Shatner's Guide to Potty Training
The Grammar Primer, by George W. Bush
The Dick Cheney Open-Heart Surgery pop-up Book
Teenage Driving Tips, by Laura Bush
Mel Gibson's Passover coloring book
The Big Book of Jewish Conspiracies, by Hutton Gibson

[Adenoid_Hynkel]

59. Deliver Us from Evil : Defeating Terrorism, Despotism, and Liberalism

because you'd have to have the IQ of a small child to believe Hannity's tripe

[Rabrrrrrr]

62. The Ontology and Teleology of the Super Being: A Primer for Your Child

[philosophie_en_rose]

63. L'il Limbaugh guide to puppy kicking.

Ugly, Stinky, Stupid, and Weird: 100 reasons why nobody likes you.

Harriet Plame the Spy

Bob Dole's guide to erectile disfunction.

Hannity and Colmes , or A Tale of Two Sissies.

[TahitiNut]

64. How To Play Fender Tag on The Interstate

[Donkeyboy75]

65. "The Drano Children's Recipe Book"

[Triple H]

66. ROTFL @ this thread.

[ropi]

67. Captivity Narrative:

Gypsy Runaway Survivor: or, The Awful, Horrifying, Tales of the little boy who did not listen to his mother and who was kidnapped by gypsies in the park.

[guitar man]

68. "Why Uncle Johnny is Really your Dad"

"How to Hot Wire Dad's Harley"

"Firecrackers and Cats,Hours of Fun"

"Things You Can Use to Derail Freight Trains"

"Teacher Giving You Shit? Bust a Cap in Her Ass"-an elementary student's guide to getting respect.

"The Abandoned Well"-your key to freedom from your little brother's/sister's shit

"Cat Torture for Dummies"

"Adult Channel Blocks-Hacks,Cracks and Workarounds"

"How to Exploit Daddy When He's Drunk"

[SmileyBoy]

69. "Daddy Beats Mommy Because He's Sad"

:D

[polazarus]

71. Green Eggs and Welfare Cheese

[polazarus]

72. "Why Does it Hurt when I Pee"

[Endangered Specie]

73. kick, must have more

[mac56]

74. "The Bobbsey Twins And Their DNA Surprise"

nm

[mac56]

75. "James Buchanan, Our Loneliest President"

nm