Sigh. First he took his life, now a letter...

[madinmaryland]

Apparently he took the time to write letters to his family and friends. His brother received a package sometime yesterday with the letters. His brother will give them to us on Friday at the wake.

Just when I was starting to accept it, this comes up to reopen things.

Ughh!

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. My dear madinmaryland...

Consider this: Yes, it will open things up again...so perhaps that will allow you a better closure than you might otherwise have had...

You might just understand him and his motivations better...

And most importantly, you will have one last memento from him...one last contact, sad though it will be.

My deepest condolences, sweetie...

:hug:

[madinmaryland]

2. Thanks...

I am torn (I actually typed "gorn"!) between hoping that it provides some rationale or thoughts behind what he did and what our friendship meant to him or a dark tirade with sinister plots and schemes.

I swear at times, he had some CT's which would have fit right into the 9/11 forum here!

[Redstone]

3. I missed your original post, but please accept my condolences.

Redstone

[elleng]

4. Oh, dear mad.

Thinking of you, really.

:hug:

[mcctatas]

5. I am so sorry for your loss...

as for the letter, open it when you are ready, there is no rush :hug:

[madinmaryland]

7. Well, I think all of us who have received them will get them at the wake,

so we will all be sharing them together. Going to be an awfully weird situation.

[marzipanni]

6. I heard this doctor on the radio, and what he said was reassuring

http://www.pimvanlommel.nl/?home_eng

I don't fear death, but am curious about it.
My husband and I like KGO radio station out of San Francisco, but on weekends one talk show host is on who we don't like to listen to. I switched to a station that carries Coast-to-Coast a.m. (speaking of CTs, yes, it does that, too :o) and fell in and out of sleep listening to this program with Pim van Lommel, M.D..... Very interesting.

http://www.coasttocoastam.com/show/2010/08/08

[seabeyond]

8. it might be the best he did

i am sorry for your loss.

i have a couple letters my mom left. i keep them. they mean something. i am thankful for them

[LisaM]

9. Yow

It will be a strange day, indeed. I'm sorry about your loss.

[madinmaryland]

10. Well, we can only hope that it helps with the closure and does

not open up more wounds and continue the suffering.

Don't know what to expect.

[hippywife]

11. I can imagine how this might be creating

quite a bit of anxiety. These could be the fondest of farewells or the big fuck off with a laundry list of all of everyone's perceived failures.

For everyone's sake, I hope that it will be the former and not the latter.

Hand tight, mad. :hug:

[madinmaryland]

12. Yeah.

It's the latter that concerns me. Though he was in the latter stages of a bitter divorce and I think the big fuck off will be to his wife.

[hedgehog]

13. I had a cousin who in the last stages of AIDS dementia started cursing at

his beloved sister. It wasn't him speaking, it was the disease. Be prepared to take the same attitude if the letters are at all hurtful. People think having depression means that you are sad. That is partly true, but I've always found that the worst symptom was seeing everything in shades of dark.

[liberaltrucker]

16. Yep, depression IS "seeing things in shades of dark"

I'd never heard it put quite that way, but
that's a very good description. In my case,
all I can say in thank (Deity) for Effexor.

[liberaltrucker]

14. Vibes your way, mad

There's no way I can understand your emotions
right now. I haven't been there. I hope and pray
that it ends well. For the first time, I'll post
my real name in a public forum.

Peace (literally),

Ron

[foxfeet]

15. I'm sorry for your grief, mad.

This is not an unusual situation. Of course it rekindles those original feelings of shock and grief, Each time a new piece of information comes to light, much the same thing will happen. Take your time. There is no magic timetable for grief. Each person grieves in his or her own way. I wish you peace.