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serious question-is anyone here old and single...what do you do?

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w8liftinglady Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-27-10 09:07 PM
Original message
serious question-is anyone here old and single...what do you do?
especially if you live in a conservative area.I don't necessarily want to go all the way,but it would be fun to have a like minded friend to go out with sometimes.How to you handle it?
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hayu_lol Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-27-10 09:28 PM
Response to Original message
1. Sometimes this is a difficult situation...
there is old. There is really old. Last, but not least, there is really really old. The number of available males decreases markedly as you pass from one group to another.

Depends on where you live, how large the town/city might be, and what the overall economic status is of those you might want to consider.

Simple companionship is sometimes a very scarce item in all three brackets. Might be easier to find a small group that would meet your needs and still allow you space to move as you wish. The survivors of this elimination contest are a mixed bag. LOL. All shapes and sizes, all temperments, all economic levels.

I'm 75, a recluse, and satisfied with that status. Others are more social but just want friends...the kind I think you are asking about.

It would be nice to have meetings with a group of like-minded individuals to discuss what is wrong with today...and may have been wrong in the halcyon days of our collective flaming youth.

Good luck in your search.
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david13 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-27-10 09:57 PM
Response to Original message
2. I am old and single. What do I do? A lot, but mostly what I want
to do.
Which makes it difficult for me to do things with other people.
I have come to enjoy myself, and take delight in myself. I look for new challenges, endeavors, and conquests (I don't mean of people), but of activities, or qualifications, etc.
Longer walks. Longer bicycle rides.
Sometimes I get into not arguments with myself, but debates. I'm going somewhere, should I take the car, or the motorcycle? 2 hour debate. 2 hours of getting the motorcycle ready, or putting things into the car.
But usually with just myself there are few arguments or debates.
One of the problems with relating to others is the mutual interest idea. Sure we ride motorcycles, but we each want to go different ways. Ok, we meet at point b at such a time.
You will never find anyone in this world with more than about 20 to 30 percent like mindedness. After that you just get into compromise or acquiescence. Which can get boring. But there is the idea, opposites attract. You don't want a mirror image of yourself. You want someone different. And then you just spend some time together.
Wherever I go, I talk to any and everyone. Some can talk back and have a good conversation. Many cannot.
Get into groups, clubs, meetings, organizations, volunteer work, etc.
But the idea for me is that every day is a joy, a gift. That I am not dead. That I have more time to explore, look for adventure, try new things, etc.
dc
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doc03 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-27-10 11:10 PM
Response to Original message
3. Pretty much keep to myself since I do live in a conservative
area it is practically impossible to find someone I can stand to be around.
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MiddleFingerMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-27-10 11:49 PM
Response to Original message
4. Oh.. I don't do anything really.
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...have you heard otherwise?
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Iggo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-28-10 09:43 AM
Response to Reply #4
9. +1
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Skittles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-28-10 12:45 AM
Response to Original message
5. handle it? handle what?
Edited on Mon Jun-28-10 12:46 AM by Skittles
I've always been single, never wanted to be married, I have my pick of dates and....what was it you wanted to know?
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Tobin S. Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-28-10 01:57 AM
Response to Original message
6. It's so easy to make friends when we are children
I was just thinking about that today when I was watching my little 8 year old neice play with a couple of other little girls she had just met. I don't know what happens between high school and 30, but for some reason it becomes much more difficult to make new friends as we become grown-ups. At 37, I'm not all that old, but I am in the same boat as you as far as my social life goes.

I've been looking for a partner for a while now and it just hasn't worked out for me. I've decided that I am just made to be single and I'm going to hit the road again. It would be nice to have a lot of friends, though. Have you tried bars?
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jcboon Donating Member (73 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-28-10 02:56 AM
Response to Original message
7. putting on my flame-proof underpants. .
. . .but try going to church. Pick something progressive-- Episcopal, Ucc, Unitarian, whatever.
I'm an Episcopalian in a fairly conservative area and there are quite a few single men in the over 60 age group.
Try dating younger men, say 5- 10 years.
I'm old enough to know but young enough to go. .
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w8liftinglady Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-28-10 09:27 AM
Response to Original message
8. Actually,you all have been a big help..it is hard in right-wing Tx to find liberals.
any suggestions are appreciated
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Capn Sunshine Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-28-10 09:07 PM
Response to Reply #8
21. my recollections of Tejas ..try near any local college
Edited on Mon Jun-28-10 09:08 PM by Capn Sunshine
or move to their designated liberal zones. They have a few, most notable , Austin. And San Antonio has a hip area too.
But the Mongomery district in Houston is another. I suppose big D has a liberal area as well; I'd read the weeklies ( not the big paper, the ones they have in the record stores or Hot Topix)
Look for the local branch of Greenpeace or MoveOn.

good luck :hi:
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Mopar151 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-28-10 09:50 AM
Response to Original message
10. Adult Friend Finder worked for me and Mrs. Mopar
But if that's not a good option in your area... Think about clubs/afinity groups. I'm in car clubs - always some single men around, and racing clubs always need someone willing to lend a hand with timing, race control, etc. ( if this is an interest, PM me, and I can be more specific)
With your "handle", perhaps a powerlifting club would be good, or a track club. I have an older friend who's powerlifted for decades - you'd love him!
Another old friend (recently passed on) raced radio controlled sailboats for years. If you're musical, maybe an open mike night, or a theatre group.
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Lydia Leftcoast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-28-10 10:18 AM
Response to Original message
11. First of all, thank your lucky stars that you're not stuck in one of
those marriages where you and your spouse no longer have anything to say to each other and spend your lives in stony silence--except for the occasional argument.

Second, there's always something to get involved in, even if it doesn't lead to a romantic relationship. When I lived in a small town in the Pacific Northwest, I got involved in community theater and joined a gym in order to get to know people from outside of work. (By the way, you don't have to act in order to be part of community theater. You can paint scenery, make costumes, do make-up, handle props, sell tickets, just about anything, and you'll still get an invitation to the cast party.)

Now that I'm in Minneapolis, I take water aerobics classes, sing in two choirs, attend a series of film sneak previews with discussions afterward, volunteer in a meal program for low-income and homeless youth, and indulge in a little political involvement once in a while.
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w8liftinglady Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-28-10 10:33 AM
Response to Reply #11
12. what great ideas!Thanks!
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Q3JR4 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-28-10 03:08 PM
Response to Original message
13. As a couple of posters have pointed out here,
the key to meeting people is to get out of the house and open yourself up to entanglement possibilities by joining clubs, organizations (non-profit, political, or whatever), churches, social gatherings, book clubs, etc.

That's the advice I'd give anyone looking for romance, but when you really think about it people who are looking for love are really only looking for a specific kind of friendship.

You may find both, one or the other, or neither, but if you have fun doing stuff you like to do while your search commences that could be its own reward.

Q3JR4.
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gvstn Donating Member (485 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-28-10 03:57 PM
Response to Original message
14. In a state the size of Texas this is a million to one shot but i thought
Edited on Mon Jun-28-10 04:00 PM by gvstn
I'd mention it because the structure of it puts you in contact with many educated or interested older people. It is an offshoot of our State University that provides a building on campus for older adults to attend credit-free (exam-free) classes to keep themselves active. It is different than tuition free auditing of regular university classes in that it is a separate program where only older adults attend( they've lowered the age to 50 here because they are greedy and want as many attendees as possible). I live in Delaware and here everyone is less than an hour away from one of our two campuses. http://www.academy.udel.edu/index.html

My mother loves it as do many of her friends. Many people join after divorce or losing a spouse of just finding retirement a bit too isolating. It gives structure to their week and gives them a chance to meet people with similar interests.

Our University just joined a national group of similar programs (thanks to a $1 million dollar bribe to put Mr. Osher's name on the program). You can check here http://www.osherfoundation.org/index.php?olli --Last paragraph gives an overview of the idea behind the program-- --Second link on the top left gives a list of participating universities--

Like I said Texas is a big state so a nearby participating university may be unlikely but might be worth a look. :)
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HipChick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-28-10 03:58 PM
Response to Original message
15. Meetup groups are always fun
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Old Troop Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-28-10 06:09 PM
Response to Original message
16. I'm 56 and married, but my job is in Philly and my home is in MA.
On work nights I stay home and read. On weekends it's Habitat for Humanity or other volunteer things. I meet loads of great people, but I'm not looking for a soul mate so maybe it's different.
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KG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-28-10 06:19 PM
Response to Original message
17. i'm over 50, been single for over 20 years. gotten used to enjoying my own company
but if you're looking for people, i'd recommend www.plentyoffish.com and www.okcupid.com - free singles sites.
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Bennyboy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-28-10 06:25 PM
Response to Original message
18. 55 and single...
Well sort of. I tis hard for me to find anyone as weird as I am. I am a freak so my dating pool is very small... So I just stopped caring at all. My last relationship ended badly and it is highly unlikely that I will ever be able to trust another person as long as I live, so that really makes me shy away from anything.

However, I did meet someone in NOLA at Jazzfest this year and she is from British Columbia. She didn't care about any of the stuff that would bother most women and she just grooved along. So i am stoked about that and I am going up there over labor day...It was like we covered 20 years worth of relationships in about five hours..
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Kat45 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-28-10 07:52 PM
Response to Original message
19. Unfortunately, just about everyone I meet is married.
I don't meet men to go out with or women to hang out with. I'm a 55-year-old woman.
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LearnedHand Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-28-10 08:48 PM
Response to Original message
20. Also 55 and single
It's very hard to meet people I'd like to go out with. For one, I don't get out often enough. I don't care for the bar scene and I can't tolerate religious settings for myself. That eliminates most of the opportunities for meeting other singles. The other reason it's difficult for me is that I need to be around extremely intelligent, funny, no-drama people. That leaves a dating universe of, oh, about 5 people in the whole world. It's not a matter of formal education; it's the fierce curiosity about life, the universe, and everything that's so very important.
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The Velveteen Ocelot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-28-10 09:42 PM
Response to Original message
22. Nothing. I'm old and divorced
and pretty content being by myself. I found "romantic" relationships to be mostly exhausting and unsatisfying (and that's probably my fault), so I started avoiding them. And now that I'm old and invisible, they are avoiding me. So it goes.
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