The Customer Is (Not) Always Right
http://notalwaysright.com/There are hundreds of 'em. Seemingly endless entries. Go through page by page, or click on the topics in the column on the right.
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Running Laps Around Your Technical Knowledge
Tech Support | New Brunswick, Canada
Me: “Okay, sir. Since doing that doesn’t seem to be working, can you please clear your cache and cookies again and restart your computer, please?”
Caller: “Okay.”
(I hear fumbling on his line of the phone.)
Me: “Sir, just a quick question. Are you on a desktop computer or a laptop?”
Caller: “It’s on a desk.”
Me: “Okay, next question, does the monitor fold down onto the keyboard?”
Caller: “I don’t know.”
Me: “Does the monitor and keyboard have wires going from them to a big box with lights on it?”
Caller: “That’s way too technical for me to understand.”
Me: “Can you take it around with you around your home?”
Caller: “I’ve heard of flexible computer that people can fold up and take with them everywhere.”
Me: “That’s a laptop sir. Is that what you have?”
Caller: “I still can’t login!”
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Being The President Sucks
Bookstore | Oklahoma City, OK, USA
Customer: “Do you have a copy of
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter?”
Me: “I’m not sure, let me check.” *
I check our bestsellers section* “No sir, not at this time.”
Customer: “But did you look back in the history section?”
Me: “For
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter?”
Customer: “Yeah.”
Me: “No, I did not.”
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High School Dropouts Work On The Pharm
Pharmacy | Boston, MA, USA
(I work as a pharmacy tech at a chain pharmacy. I am also currently in pharmacy school and will be a pharmacist one day.)Customer: “You should be ashamed of yourself!”
Me: “I’m sorry. Can I help you with something?”
Customer: “No! I refuse to be helped by a high school dropout! You should be ashamed of yourself for working where children can see you! You are going to make them think that it is okay to not have an education!”
Me: “Ma’am, I am not a high school dropout. I have a high school diploma and I am currently in pharmacy school working towards a Doctor of Pharmacy. I am going to be a pharmacist one day.”
Customer: “Stop lying! I have never heard of a pharmacist before. You are a high school dropout!”
Manager: “Can I help you?”
Customer: “Yes! Your employee is lying to me! She says she is going to be a pharmacist! That job doesn’t exist!”
(The manager looks at our pharmacist who is near tears from laughing so hard.)Manager: “Ma’am, see the man over there? He’s the one who filled your prescription. He is a pharmacist.”
Customer: “No he isn’t! He just counts pills! You don’t need school for that!”
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(the ones about Americans crossing to or in Canada crack me up)
Yukon Not Believe This Juan
Border Checkpoint | Canada
Me: “I need to see your Visa, ma’am.”
Tourist: “What for? It doesn’t cost to go to Canada, does it?”
Me: “Not your credit card ma’am, your Visa to enter the country.”
Tourist: “What do you mean?”
Me: “You need to have a Visa to leave the United States, ma’am.”
Tourist: “I’m not leaving the United States!”
Me: “Yes you are, ma’am, beyond here is Canada.”
Tourist: “Canada isn’t outside the United States!”
Me: “And what makes you think that, ma’am?”
Tourist: “Because there’s no water between the two places! Its one big hunk of land!”
Me: “Country borders do not have to be separated by water, ma’am. Both Canada and Mexico are different countries yet directly connected to the United States.”
Tourist: “Well of course Mexico is a different country, it’s separated from America by water!”
Me: “No it’s not, ma’am.”
Tourist: “Ain’t you ever heard of the Gulf of Mexico?”
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No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 3
Call Center | Brisbane, Queensland, Australia
Me: “Welcome, how can I help you?”
Customer: “Yes, what’s the time in the UK now?”
Me: “Its 9pm. They’re ten hours behind.”
Customer: “Oh, so if I call the UK in another half hour, what time will it be?”
Me: “It’ll be 9:30pm.”
Customer: “You mean if half an hour passes here, it will also be half an hour later there?”
Me: “Yes.”
Customer: *
surprised* “Oh! So that’s how it works?”
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