My friend is dying..

[HipChick]

He basically needs a heart transplant...the dr's basically don't even want to go there with him...they told him to enjoy the time he has left. What I am having to deal with is nothing to what his family is going through. I know I will have to prepare myself for the inevitable. But its still going to be tough...

[mikita]

1. so sorry

hope you and he can make the best of your time.

[hippywife]

2. That has to be a very difficult thing for someone to hear.

I wish him well, as well as his family and friends, as he prepares for this final journey. Hopefully, this time will be spent drawing near to those he holds dear, and those who feel the same about him, and that there will be peace enough to go around for everyone involved. :hug:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

3. My dear HipChick...

Ah, what sad news. Of course it's tough. Spend as much time with him as you can...It will be good for you both.

Safe passage to him, once his time comes...

:hug:

[GreenPartyVoter]

4. That's a hard thing to go through. *hugs*

[applegrove]

5. So sorry.

[GoneOffShore]

6. Arggh. Make his time the best you can.

[emilyg]

7. Very sorry.

[Withywindle]

8. I am so sorry.

:hug:

If he's feeling well enough to enjoy his favorite things and write down some of his life experiences, then encourage him to do that. Whatever it is he can do, just share it with him.

I've been there. (Not this exact health condition I don't think, but...).

[GoddessOfGuinness]

9. That's such a hard thing...

I know it's really important to him that you're there. A lot of times people back off in fear when they know a friend is dying. Good for you, for being a true friend. :hug::hug::hug:

[hyphenate]

10. It's probably not much help

But I remember when my dad was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer, and the doctor told him that not too many people know when they will die, and in one way, that was a gift my dad got--the ability to know how long more he would be alive. We all want to know when our time will be, I think, but we will never know exactly, like my dad.

My mom has always said there are two ways of dying, and each one has its good and its bad. One, that someone have a "good" death--unexpected, but clean and quick. In this case, the person doesn't get to deliberate over the consequences. The second is prolonged, filled with pain, and a slow death. Obviously this is hard on a person, and each day is a challenge to get through.

In the quick death, the family is taken off guard, and it's a lot harder for the family to understand.

In the slower death, the family is caught in the grief early in the process, and ends up, whether they like it or not, hoping the patient doesn't suffer any more than they need to. As a result, the family gets used to the idea that the patient is dying, but the patient ends up suffering for the longer length of time.

Your friend has probably already accepted the outcome, but it's his friends and family that need to come to that acceptance. What comes next is up to the people in that person's life, whether they try to hold him here longer than the time the patient has left, or give them the best they can while he is still here, and give that person the gift of caring without strings attached.

In one capacity or another, my family has been involved with death, whether it's as a cemetary worker, nurse, or woroking for a mortuary. Death isn't something we can bargain away, it's a fact of our life--if we can't believe in the inevitability of the end of life, we might not treasure life itself. Each life is precious, but we have to remember that we aren't immortal, and seize each day as though it were our last.

My thoughts are with your friend and his family and friends.

[tango-tee]

11. What a beautiful post.

When my dad was dying of colon cancer, I remember grieving ahead of time. We took care of him at home until he went to hospice during the last 48 hours. I would sit by his bed, holding his hand. He wasn't able to say much any more, but I could feel the love between us. We all *knew* he would soon be gone, as without doubt so did he... but the emptiness and numbness afterwards was overwhelming.

[tango-tee]

12. That's such sad news.

You're being such a good friend, thinking not only of him but of his family. I don't know how close you are to his family, but once he is gone, providing a shoulder for them to lean on, crying together, thinking of him, will provide great solace to all of you.

Hugs and many good vibes going out to you, dear HipChick...

[BlueIris]

13. (((( HipChick ))))

Terribly sorry for you and your friend.

[kimmerspixelated]

14. Is he looking into Alternative Therapy of any kind?

Dr. Sears The Heart Cure-worth checking out. Best wishes.

[Haole Girl]

15. I'm so sorry

:hug:

[Odin2005]

16. (((GOOD VIBES)))

:hug: