I am angry...

[laylah]

This may be booted to the lounge,and that is okay.

In the meantime, my SO started hep c tx 5 weeks ago. He is so sick, I am doing the best I can; however, I am PISSED. I did not sign up for this! I will not abandon him but this SUCKS.

He cannot work now, bless his heart, he is so very weak, I only pray he can make it to the john for the duration of the tx. In the meantime, I am pissed. I am thinking that is okay because those are my feelings.

I am such an independent woman. I will do whatever I must; but is it OKAY to be angry?

jenn

[laylah]

1. Because I need feedback! nt

[sandnsea]

2. My husband went through it in 2008

He's virus free for a year now. They say that's a 99.9% chance he's "cured".

He was also on a bunch of medicine for side affects. I don't remember what all, but they did help a lot.

Yes it's okay to be pissed. Just remember, you didn't sign up for cancer or stroke or paralysis or any of a number of other things that can go wrong. He didn't either. But it can still happen.

Hang in there, you'll get through it!

[laylah]

17. You are a dear!

Thank you!

[ruggerson]

3. Yes, you did sign up for this

Shit happens. People get sick or get into accidents.

The meaning of unconditional love is that you ride the bad along with the good.

He got sick. It's not like he violated your relationship.

You have a right to be angry about life in general, but this is HIS time now, and don't let your anger diminish what you can give to him to help him as he begins to heal.

[Name removed]

4. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[madrchsod]

5. it`s ok to be angry....but not for to long

i have several friends who have hep c. they were in bad shape for awhile but now they are doing ok. remember he`s even madder and more depressed than you are. the worse thing you can do is be pissed in front of him. i`ve had some serious medical problems that pissed off my wife but she never showed in front of me.

hand in there...things will get better

[laylah]

18. Thank you and I agree...

I'm just trying to "figure it out". All WILL be well because Creator has my back. In the meantime, I can express what I need to express.

[backwoodsbob]

6. reverse the situation

how do you think he would react

[Warpy]

7. Just be sure you're angry at the disease

and yes, you've got a right to feel cheated out of the life you thought you'd have. However, the only thing you've really lost is a dream, and dreams generally don't come true.

You've got a right to your feelings. What you need to be clear on is where and how to direct those feelings.

[customerserviceguy]

8. Perhaps there is a support group out there

I'm sure that others have trod your path, and have insights as to what's along the way. Even an online support group specifically formed for this might help.

When my brother came down with Wolfram's Syndrome, that got my mother on to the Internet. At first, she got support from the group, then she started giving it. She still does, even though he died from it ten years ago.

I wish you peace.

[TZ]

9. Its okay to be angry

I was one of the healthiest people I knew until about 5 years ago. My life has not been the same since I was diagnosed with a chronic illness. Now, its just me, mostly and FORTUNATELY I can pretty much take care of myself, but if a day comes when I can't thats going to be very very very difficult for me. I'm sure your SO hates being a drag on you.
And I agree with an above poster that you should find a disease support group. I've had good luck with them myself. I see someone already jumped on you here, which I think you won't find in a support group. I won't. Dealing with severe or chronic illness is VERY difficult.

[laylah]

13. You are such a Wise Woman...

Thank you!

[laylah]

10. Thank you ALL for your responses!

I am not angry with him but I am angry with the diseas/tx/protocal. All WILL be well, I just had to vent. For those of you that chose to dis me, this man was my "first love" many a year ago. Our paths wound around each others for years. We are now "here". I am fine, will do what I must, but I can still be pissed

[backwoodsbob]

11. yes you can be pissed

and vent here when needed..just don't let if affect the way you deal with him.

I'll give you my phone number and you can call me every night and cuss me out if it makes you feel better ..just don't take it out on him

[laylah]

12. OH BOB...

i would NEVER take this out on him...FFS, what is the picture many have of me

i was only saying i am tired, i did NOT sign up for this; however, i will do what i must.

i love this man. i will be 59 7/1, we met 11/12/1973. our paths have woven in and out since then...i had 2 BEAUTIFUL, INTELLIGENT daughters and a husband that just didn't get it.

in the meantime, those that caustically tell me not to dis on him...I AM NOT. i was just venting.

i am so very tired...and that is okay!

[backwoodsbob]

14. of course you are tired...and angry

you have a right to be angry....no one wants to deal with these type of things.My mom lost her husband to alzheimers last year...she was angry at the world....this weekend she is in Roanoke partying.

I didn't mean to come off aS condescending....just saying be there for him.

[hippywife]

15. I understood what you were getting at in your OP, laylah.

It is fine to be angry and I know he is not the target of your anger, just the whole issue of dealing with disease. It's a tremendous strain and why caregiver support groups are formed; to help people deal with the whole range of emotions with others who will understand.

I wish him healing and you some respite when you need it.

Please remember to take care of yourself, too. Caregiving can be, and obviously is, an incredible stress.

[laylah]

16. thank you!

I have no support group here, just the way it is. I will seek out what I must. In the meantime, I love this man and thank you for "allowing" me to express my anger and frustration.

I do/will take good care of him; however, this is all so new and depressing to me. Losing the car (he cannot work), threats of utilities being shut off, phone is on the edge...and I work from home on-line.

The good news is Creator has my back and ALL will be well...I just know it.

Thank you for your words of support

jenn

[RandomThoughts]

19. In my view righteous anger is without hate.

but with purpose and passion to help not hurt, it is more of a focused intensity of purpose then a lashing out without direction that is the hate anger.

You can turn hate anger into action to do better things in your own life and to help people. Hate anger is more the bitterness of just hurting people. While purpose and passion is a feeling of being able to make a difference and has more pity for those that make you want to feel anger then actual hate, so you can even help those that make you angry in that feeling.

There is a different feel to it, that is how I think on it.