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TheMightyFavog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-17-10 08:13 AM
Original message
I am 30 today.
So I guess that entitles me to share some wisdom with the younger DUers.

1. Drunken Shopping Cart Jousting sounds like a ton of fun, but all it des is get people hurt in the end.
2. Invest in a good pair of boots.
3. If you're going to drink, drink well. Try to avoid the cheap shit.
4. But then again, some cheap shit is OK. i.e., Pabst Blue Ribbon is decent so long as you serve it VERY cold.
5. Never try to ride any subway or train standing up whist you are shitfaced.
6. Try Dallmayr Prodomo coffee, if you can get it. It's amazing stuff
7. British food is not as bad as you think.
8. The secret to a good gin and tonic is good gin.
9. Never sleep with someone on the first date, even if the other person insists.
10. Never drink an entire liter of booze in one sitting.
11. Tequila is disgusting. It tastes the same way rubbing alcohol smells.
12. Stay the fuck away from 4chan, especially the /b/ forum. That place is a hive of scum and villiany and is also the asshole of the Internet. Think the encampment from the end of Apocalypse Now only populated with epic level perverts, scriptkiddies, and hardcore otaku.
13. There is no shame in playing D&D or any other tabletop RPG.
14. More women play D&D than you think.
15. Schlitz is actually now drinkable ever since they went back to the old 1960s formula.
16. Never travel anywhere via Greyhound. Ever.
17. Never travel a trip of more than 200 miles by bus (This includes those very nice coaches).
18. When flying overseas, never use a carrier based in the U.S.
19. If someone offers you something very tempting to drive you to an abandoned warehouse in a dicey part of Chicago after dark so they can attend a LARP, don't accept. It's just not worth it.
20. Never try to punch someone when you're dead. (You can't throw a good right hook when you're dead.)
21. Don't go dissing the old school outright. There are alwys valuable lessons to be learned from the old school.
22. Never buy a computer made by e Machines.
23. There is no shame in owning a Japanese car.
24. Harley-Davidson does not sell motorcycles, they sell an image.
25. Don't be mean. You don't have to be mean. Remember, no matter where you go, there you are.
26. Godzilla is, and always will be more badass than Gamera.
27. Remember, the worst Godzilla movie ever made was All Monsters Attack, Featuring, Minya, proof Mrs. Godzilla was banging Barney the Dinosaur behind the Big G's back.
28. Don't waste your money on the 1967 version of Casino Royale.
29. Learn how to operate a firearm. Skeet shooting is a great way to vent off stress.
30. Don't bother watching Sesame Street these days. It's gone completley to ratshit.
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Tobin S. Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-17-10 08:21 AM
Response to Original message
1. Happy birthday!
There is some sound advice in your list, especially that part about tequila. :D
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hobbit709 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-17-10 08:32 AM
Response to Original message
2. A lttle music for the occasion
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ThatsMyBarack Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-17-10 08:53 AM
Response to Original message
3. Happy Birthday!
And thanks for sharing your words of wisdom! :hi:
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Chan790 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-17-10 08:54 AM
Response to Original message
4. Happy Birthday!
Edited on Sun Jan-17-10 09:13 AM by Chan790
I hit the big 30 last month. I have to disagree with some of these though...it's a YMMV thing, I guess.

Re: #9. Never be afraid to sleep with someone on the first date either if you really really want to. Some of the best relationships I ever had started with a bang so to speak. At least one woman I thought was perfect in every way turned out to be terrible in bed and though I persisted through that into a relationship, I should have taken it for a sign...everything I liked about her was a carefully-crafted persona meant to attract the sort of people she wanted to date, rather than who she was. In bed, naked, she couldn't be anything but who she really was...really vanilla, unadventurous, unfeeling and super-controlling. It led to an entire line of jokes later about sex with construction engineers.

9a.) Never date a female engineer. Sorry, engineering women. You make good drinking buddies but terrible girlfriends.

Re: #11. Some good tequilas are amazing. A lot of what gets sold in the US as tequila is actually crap that doesn't meet market standards for sale in Mexico...Mexicans love their tequila and will snatch up the truly quality stuff at any price. The rest gets exported to the US where we'll pay way too much for crap on account of advertisement and known labels. Cuervo is literally the mass-produced dregs of the tequila industry, something on par with Smirnoff vodka or Gilbey's gin. It's hardly representative of the spirit.

Re:#13. There is great shame is playing a tabletop RPG if you're only doing it to impress the gamer girl while you secretly wish you were at the bar playing pool. Trust me when I say she sees right through that crap anyways. Just say "I'm not digging this, can we go get a drink and play some pool.", dates/life are a lot better when you're both having fun.
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MiddleFingerMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-17-10 09:40 AM
Response to Original message
5. Happy 30th Birthday!!!
.
Hopefully, it's a cause to celebrate. Mine was, but I was single
and had recently been able to afford to go to college -- no real
responsibilities other than to myself. On the other hand, when my
little brother turned 30, he had a wife and 2 kids and a mortgage
and just saw it as one of Death's little calling cards that he was
getting OLD(?!?!?) and that his life would all too soon be over.
.
Turning 30 is cause for a party atmosphere that is even partier than
most ordinary birthday party atmospheres. Kick up your heels and
EN-freakin'-JOY yourself.
.
Now, about your advice to the, ahem... "young 'uns",,,
.
4. But then again, some cheap shit is OK. i.e., Pabst Blue Ribbon
is decent so long as you serve it VERY cold.
< > < > < > WRONG. I remember PBR as the 2:00 AM choice for beer runs
< > < > < > as it cost about $3 bar takeout price as compared to about
< > < > < > $6+ for everything else. Those 2:00 AM beer runs resulted
< > < > < > in 'beer runs' for most of the next day.
.
9. Never sleep with someone on the first date, even if the other person insists.
< > < > < > Some were mistakes, some just fun, but two of my "first
< > < > < > night sex" beginnings turned into my most satisfying
< > < > < > long-term (3+ years) relationships.
.
11. Tequila is disgusting. It tastes the same way rubbing alcohol smells.
< > < > < > Once you get away from bar well-drink tequila, it can taste
< > < > < > mighty fine, and the ritual is fun. After drinking good tequila
< > < > < > at home, a group of us went to an amazingly well-stocked bar to
< > < > < > continue (yes, a designated driver). They only had one brand of
< > < > < > (cheap) tequila, and when questioned told us, "We don't really
< > < > < > like to encourage tequila drinking here. We understood
< > < > < > and simply went elsewhere. Mescal (the one with the worm), on the
< > < > < > other hand, is evil. Yummy yummy FUN evil.
.
16. Never travel anywhere via Greyhound. Ever.
17. Never travel a trip of more than 200 miles by bus (This includes
those very nice coaches).
< > < > < > Shame on you!! You've forgotten how it is to be young and bare-bones
< > < > < > broke, yet be stricken with wanderlust. If the alternatives are within
< > < > < > your budget, by all means. But I had some awesome adventures by bus in
< > < > < > my earlier days.
.
29. Learn how to operate a firearm. Skeet shooting is a great way to vent off stress.
< > < > < > Totally agree. Non-enthusiasts have a hard time understanding HOW this
< > < > < > can be so, but target-shooting of any kind is amazingly calming and fun.
.
Again... Happy Happy Birthday. Hope you enjoy it to the fullest. Actuarially speaking,
you're only going to have about 50 more opportunities to do so, so don't waste a one.
.

.

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Haole Girl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-17-10 09:41 AM
Response to Original message
6. Happy Big 3-O!!
:party:
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Call Me Wesley Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-17-10 11:39 AM
Response to Original message
7. Happy Birthday!
:toast: I hope you're having a wonderful day and countless more to come! :hi:
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greenbriar Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-17-10 11:41 AM
Response to Original message
8. Happy wonderful 30
your life is just getting started!!!
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TheMightyFavog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-17-10 01:30 PM
Response to Reply #8
9. Thanks.
Although, it is kind of fun to play the Wise older man part.
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WinkyDink Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-17-10 02:47 PM
Response to Original message
10. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Have a great day! SOOO agree about "Casino Royale"!!
ONLY the BEST Bond, and totally RUINED!! Won't bother to watch the DC one, what with the card-game changes made.

(I've used the "Remember: wherever you go, there you are" for decades! But then, I'm 60!)
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AsahinaKimi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-17-10 06:41 PM
Response to Original message
11. Otanjobi Omedetou Gozaimasu
Happy Birthday
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texanwitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-17-10 06:48 PM
Response to Original message
12. Happy Birthday.
You are still a baby.

I can't even remember 30.
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