Fuck it.

[Writer]

What the fuck am I doing by doing this doctorate?

One minute I've got it, the next I can't think my way out of a paper bag. But that's been the case my entire life: For one reason or another, I don't quite find my place.

I tried the corporate media thing, and that came to a screeching halt because of my husband's relocation.

I tried writing, but I didn't have the discipline.

I tried the politics thing, but I didn't have the personality for it.

I'm now in graduate school doing a doctorate in mass communications. More hoops. More bullshit. I love the material just like the substance of everything else I've tried, but I am sick of the rationalized, constructed bureaucracy of it all.

Fuck it.

[fNord]

1. don't fuck it....

fuck careers....

don't forget like everyone else's in the world has that higher education isn't supposed to be a place where you learn a little and the get a paper that says you a "qualified for employment."

It is SUPPOSED TO BE a place where the secularly elite holders of knowledge teach to the intellectually curious advanced ideas and concepts.

in short, don't go to collage to show you can play the game long enough to prove you can play someone else's game....

Go so you can learn that witch you are interested in.

Fuck a Sheepskin!

[Tuesday Afternoon]

2. stick with it, Writer.

Get it. Be done with it ane move on. You will find your way.