Beliefnet: Conservatizing the Bible (freepers taking the liberal bias out of scripture)

[Bucky]

You probably think I'm shitting you. I'm not. Worse yet, at this point, you're probably not even surprised by this. But here goes...

http://blog.beliefnet.com/crunchycon/2009/10/conservatizing-the-bible.html

The eager young men at Conservapedia are p.o.'d that the Bible might be seen as too liberal. So they've come up with the Wiki-style Conservative Bible Project, to make sure the Lord doesn't go all wobbly on us. Excerpt:

As of 2009, there is no fully conservative translation of the Bible which satisfies the following ten guidelines:<1>

* Framework against Liberal Bias: providing a strong framework that enables a thought-for-thought translation without corruption by liberal bias

* Not Emasculated: avoiding unisex, "gender inclusive" language, and other modern emasculation of Christianity

* Not Dumbed Down: not dumbing down the reading level, or diluting the intellectual force and logic of Christianity; the NIV is written at only the 7th grade level<2>

* Utilize Powerful Conservative Terms: using powerful new conservative terms as they develop;<3> defective translations use the word "comrade" three times as often as "volunteer"; similarly, updating words which have a change in meaning, such as "word", "peace", and "miracle"

* Combat Harmful Addiction: combating addiction by using modern terms for it, such as "gamble" rather than "cast lots";<4> using modern political terms, such as "register" rather than "enroll" for the census

* Accept the Logic of Hell: applying logic with its full force and effect, as in not denying or downplaying the very real existence of Hell or the Devil.

* Express Free Market Parables; explaining the numerous economic parables with their full free-market meaning

* Exclude Later-Inserted Liberal Passages: excluding the later-inserted liberal passages that are not authentic, such as the adulteress story...

 

I'd say "God bless 'em" but they might not approve such liberality on my part. Okay, you've been waiting for this... here's the link.

[pokerfan]

1. PZ had this to say about that

Conservapædia has a new project

Category: Kooks
Posted on: October 5, 2009 9:52 AM, by PZ Myers

The far right wing has long rested their authority on Biblical truth — how can you possibly question them if they speak for God, after all? There is one little problem, however.

The Bible is suffused with liberal bias. A lot of the Old Testament isn't bad, but the New Testament, when Jesus makes the scene, suddenly takes a turn into commie-land, with its talk of helping the poor and camels and needles and so forth. Jesus was obviously misquoted all over the place.

So what to do? When your claim of godly authority rests on your interpretation of God's holy word, but God's holy words contradict your desired ends, you're in a bit of a pickle. There is a solution, though: rewrite the Bible and change the liberal bits! For this reason some of the deranged editors at Conservapædia have launched The Conservative Bible Project, which will purge the wimpy stuff and return it to it's authentic roots, as a book that could have been written by a dumb-as-a-stick American Republican NRA member who wants to kill communists and A-rabs.

I'm not joking. They cite as reasons for a rewrite the fact that the Bible uses the term "comrade" three times, and acknowledges the existence of laborers thirteen times. It's practically a Marxist/Leninist tract.

They conveniently give an example of the kind of thing that needs to be fixed.

The earliest, most authentic manuscripts lack this verse set forth at Luke 23:34: Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."

Is this a liberal corruption of the original? This does not appear in any other Gospel, and the simple fact is that some of the persecutors of Jesus did know what they were doing. This quotation is a favorite of liberals but should not appear in a conservative Bible.

As we all know, after all, Jesus really wasn't into that "forgiveness" thing.

http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2009/10/conservapdia_has_a_new_project.php

[LostInAnomie]

2. Let them have at it.

Change the whole thing into a RW screed as far as I'm concerned. It will only further prove that religion is nothing but a tool for political ends and the religious are either fools or nefarious hucksters.