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Bertha Venation Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-22-09 08:02 AM
Original message
I am unsettled and unhappy.
On the way to work I saw a duck nudging a dead duck by the side of the road. I can get hysterical at such things, but I kept it together (and still am). But it is deeply, deeply upsetting. And very, very, so sad. :cry:

Mrs. V. is in Tennessee; that always makes me unsettled. The cats don't get the attention they usually get -- Mrs. V. works at home. That's unsettling, too.

I wouldn't say that I'm unhappy at work, but for various reasons I feel I'm walking on eggshells.

I'm singing again; that's a good thing. Mrs. V. wants me to practice my guitar. She said she likes to hear me play. :)

I'm not sleeping well. I fell asleep in my chair last night, as I did Sunday night.

I'm away from the house for at least twelve hours each day; yesterday it was fourteen.

I just don't like the way I feel these days. I feel like I'm waiting for something bad to happen, and I hate that feeling.

Any suggestions?

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Tuesday Afternoon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-22-09 08:13 AM
Response to Original message
1. Learn a new song on your guitar so you can play it for MrsV when
she gets back from Tenn :shrug:

pet the kitties....

take long walks....

take hot baths....

start a new book.......


I don't know. I wish you well, Bertha :hug:
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Bertha Venation Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-22-09 12:14 PM
Response to Reply #1
16. T.A.
:hug: thank you so much. I appreciate your suggestions. :hug:
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suninvited Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-22-09 08:46 AM
Response to Original message
2. I agree with TA
learn a new song to play when she returns.

It will give you something challenging to occupy your time and will take your mind off of the blues.
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Bertha Venation Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-22-09 12:05 PM
Response to Reply #2
15. thanks, suninvited
. . . but will it take my mind off the blues if I learn a new blues song? ;)
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Name removed Donating Member (0 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-22-09 09:34 AM
Response to Original message
3. Deleted sub-thread
Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.
 
flying_wahini Donating Member (856 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-22-09 09:50 AM
Response to Original message
4. It's called chronic stress.
Rest, vitamins (esp. Vit C - which is depleted every day)
and some nice walks in the woods help...guitar work helps too!

My husband suffered for years with work related stress, anxiety and even worked himself
up into chest tightness....
started back with his guitar playing and running and
it has helped considerably....
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Bertha Venation Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-22-09 11:05 AM
Response to Reply #4
5. I love your name.
Thank you for your ideas. I'm glad your husband found relief. Perhaps I will, too. :)
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Arugula Latte Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-22-09 11:24 AM
Response to Reply #5
6. Do you get enough vitamin D?
They say most Americans are deficient, and that can bring your mood down.

Good luck. :hi:
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Bertha Venation Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-22-09 11:35 AM
Response to Reply #6
8. I don't know. Probably not.
I have dairy almost every day - doesn't that have D in it?
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Arugula Latte Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-22-09 11:40 AM
Response to Reply #8
9. Yes, dairy does have D in it.
I take a calcium/D/magnesium supplement though, because it's hard to get enough D through food (unless you get a lot of sun exposure every day).
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LynzM Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-22-09 12:00 PM
Response to Reply #5
13. B complex vitamins are really mood-helping, too
:hug: Bertha... hang in there, hon :loveya:
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LynzM Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-22-09 12:00 PM
Response to Reply #5
14. B complex vitamins are really mood-helping, too
:hug: Bertha... hang in there, hon :loveya:
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Bertha Venation Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-22-09 01:49 PM
Response to Reply #14
21. Thank you, Lynz
:hug: I have a multi-vitamin supplement. I guess I should start taking it consistently.

:hug:
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hamsterjill Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-22-09 01:41 PM
Response to Reply #4
19. Add to that all of the stress from the media, etc.
You can't turn the television or radio on without seeing and hearing completely horrible stories. I was flipping channels the other day and from channel 2 to channel 76, I saw two dead human bodies, a hunter shooting an animal, a talk show with people yelling at one another, pictures of a flood complete with the now-homeless family, pictures of some starving children, and an advertisement for Extenze. All in about 20 seconds.

I think all of that has an impact on our emotional well-being, even if we don't happen to realize it. Basically, it just all adds up.

That's why it's so important to pick something that you love to do and "escape" for a period of time to allow your emotions to settle and recover.




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Bertha Venation Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-22-09 03:07 PM
Response to Reply #19
22. damn, hamsterjill
put a little perspective on it, will ya? ;) excellent observation

thank you :hug:
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hamsterjill Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-23-09 09:57 AM
Response to Reply #22
41. Hee hee - Yep!
That's the secret, isn't it? Keeping it all in perspective! And basically, just turning the stupid television off and getting away from it for a while.

I hope you're having a good day today.
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hippywife Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-22-09 11:26 AM
Response to Original message
7. I'm sorry you're feeling this way, B.
Do you think that if you select a very special piece of music and practice it with the aim of surprising the Mrs. on her return home that would help pass the long hours and give you something to really look forward to each evening until she returns?

Hope things get better for you soon? :hug:
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Bertha Venation Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-22-09 03:57 PM
Response to Reply #7
23. It might
She wants me to learn "House At Pooh Corner." I can do that, I think.

:hug: thank you, wife
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dugaresa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-22-09 11:52 AM
Response to Original message
10. gardening destresses me
don't know if that is a helpful suggestion or not but I know that exercising outdoors and working with the dirt just rejuvenates me and has helped my spouse with stress as well.
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Bertha Venation Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-22-09 10:40 PM
Response to Reply #10
38. I like gardening, but I am a pathetic and lazy soul.
I can't even seem to get out to deadhead my coneflowers. But the goldfinches sure love the seeds!

Thank you, dugaresa
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-22-09 11:57 AM
Response to Original message
11. is it the change in seasons? the fall is making me angsty and sad
:hug:
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Bertha Venation Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-22-09 10:40 PM
Response to Reply #11
37. that could be it, Lioness, although I love the fall
but maybe there is something cosmic (well, duh) about moving into the quiet cold times. I dunno.

Thank you :hug:
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fizzgig Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-22-09 11:57 AM
Response to Original message
12. pick up your guitar
i know that my guy always feels much better when he's able to play his.

aside from that, a walk might help burn off some of that 'nervous' energy or take a bit of time to sit in the sun (provided you have any right now).

and don't forget to breath. take a bit of time to just sit and focus on your breathing.

hang in there, bertha :hug:


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Bertha Venation Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-22-09 10:39 PM
Response to Reply #12
36. thank you, fizzgig
I really appreciate your thoughts. Oh, to sit in the sun! come on Saturday, when I'll have time.

-- wait! If it doesn't rain tomorrow, I can sit on the roof at work at lunchtime. :7

:hug:
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blondeatlast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-22-09 12:33 PM
Response to Original message
17. If it's any help to know you aren't alone, well, you aren't alone. Just when I think I'm getting
over my husband leaving to work in Europe and live there with his gf (and I really was, I got the point I could speak to him without sobbing), I've taken about 5 steps back.

Just know you are loved and maybe take a walk.

Strength, friend. You are loved. :hug:
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Bertha Venation Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-22-09 10:37 PM
Response to Reply #17
35. damn, blonde
I had no idea. I am so sorry. :hug:

thanks for your thoughts - that you weighed in here means a lot to me. :hug:
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susanr516 Donating Member (823 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-22-09 12:39 PM
Response to Original message
18. I used to work at a very high-stress job
A small group of us started walking for 15 minutes after lunch each day to lose weight. After a couple of weeks, I felt a lot calmer and happier. I never lost much weight, but I kept walking because I felt so much more emotionally healthy.

I hope you feel better soon.

:hug:
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Bertha Venation Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-22-09 10:36 PM
Response to Reply #18
33. many people, here and elsewhere, have suggested walking
I hurt when I walk, but a slow stroll is manageable. I can take a leisurely stroll around the block at lunch time without whining too much, I think

thank you, susan :hug:
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MissMillie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-22-09 01:49 PM
Response to Original message
20. I'm very sorry about they way you're feeling
I'm glad you're singing. Keep that up. Everyone needs something that they can have all to themselves.

If you're not seeing a therapist, you may want to.



Just for the record, when I was sure something bad was going to happen, something good happened.

Hang in there. Reach out to us when you need us. Get professional help if you need it. And remember that no matter what there is coming in the future, there's not much use in expending any energy worrying about it today. Today is going to be tough enough to get through without the added worry of tomorrow.

:hug:
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Bertha Venation Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-22-09 10:35 PM
Response to Reply #20
32. "there's not much use in expending any energy worrying about it today" --
something I try to tell myself often. But it's a Harris family trait to worry, and worry hard!

thank you, my friend :hug: :hug:
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yellowdogintexas Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-22-09 06:03 PM
Response to Original message
24. Oh Bertha, I hate you feeling like that. I do have some suggestions
classical music destresses me

as do cats, good books and funny movies.

HOWEVER: if you are on any prescriptions, check to see if sleep issues are a side effect. If it is a drug that has insomnia as a side effect, be sure you take it in the morning. I switched one of my meds to morning from evening and after about 3 weeks, began to sleep better.

I then added melatonin about 2 hours before bedtime. That has helped A LOT>

Good Luck
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Bertha Venation Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-22-09 10:34 PM
Response to Reply #24
31. melatonin - great idea
I'm about an hour and a half past my bedtime right now . . .

I've got a funny movie waiting for me on Tivo.

Thanks, yellowdog
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appamado amata padam Donating Member (301 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-22-09 07:33 PM
Response to Original message
25. I know it sounds corny,
but count your blessings, and remember that some people are worse off than you.
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Bertha Venation Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-22-09 10:33 PM
Response to Reply #25
30. I'm counting, a.a.p.
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appamado amata padam Donating Member (301 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-23-09 07:32 AM
Response to Reply #30
40. Good Luck -
just suggesting from prior experience - I feel down a lot, too - we are living in difficult times.

Peace.
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Ahpook Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-22-09 08:46 PM
Response to Original message
26. You are not alone if that helps? :)
I think the whole country is feeling it. Of course we all react in various ways. I hope we start seeing some positive advances in our country to alleviate our stress as a nation?

Anyway, playing guitar does help. I like to get out at night with my girlfriend and play a couple tunes. She doesn't like to sing but, we aren't on stage? :)

I got her to sing this one after a few sips of wine and a bit of a nudge from me.

Hang in? :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SIytTS1FXUc

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Bertha Venation Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-22-09 10:31 PM
Response to Reply #26
29. Great song, a great one to sing when you're a little shy and a little looped.
You're not the first to mention that it seems a lot of people are affected like me right now. There must be something to that.

I'm hanging, my friend. :)
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Tangerine LaBamba Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-22-09 09:34 PM
Response to Original message
27. Given the state of the world,
I think you'd be considered seriously unbalanced if you weren't feeling this way.

I know it. I live with it. How can I not? Just look around.

In the meantime, do the things that are fun. Eat ice cream. Do something nice for a poor kid. Give something away.

Try to get out of your own head. Other's heads are interesting, and you might even find something for yourself.

But, the ice cream. That's important.

So is some seriously good spaghetti with a marinara sauce that makes wooden spoons stand up straight - with lots of meatballs and sausage.

Meat helps. At least for me.

But, ice cream.

And find some Mel Brooks movies. Watch them. I am convinced of the miraculous healing powers of "Blazing Saddles."

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Bertha Venation Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-22-09 10:28 PM
Response to Reply #27
28. TLB.
big fat :hug: I like your perspective! And I wonder if we were separated at birth. Mel Brooks. Spaghetti with rib-sticking sauce. Ice cream.

:hug: thank you
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Tangerine LaBamba Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-22-09 10:37 PM
Response to Reply #28
34. BV,
a big fat :hug: from you is something that will keep me going for one more day. I cannot think of anything more wonderful.

Thank you.................... :toast:
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Bertha Venation Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-22-09 10:46 PM
Response to Reply #34
39. then here's another
:hug:

Hopefully we can both sleep well tonight.
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applegrove Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-23-09 09:04 PM
Response to Original message
42. Think about how great you'll feel once you have the surgery. Plan all the things you are going
to do once you are several sizes smaller and can hike and bike and otherwise get out there and play.
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