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Have you had a mid-life crisis?

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Maine-ah Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-16-09 08:37 AM
Original message
Have you had a mid-life crisis?
It's a little early...but..I think I'm having mine. My sister had hers at 37. I'm 35. My brother is 41, he says he's already had 9.

So...how did you deal?
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gmoney Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-16-09 08:42 AM
Response to Original message
1. Having mine now, probably... feeling particularly hopeless today.
Can't put it into words.
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Maine-ah Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-16-09 08:44 AM
Response to Reply #1
2. I'm with ya.
I'm up and I'm down. It's a roller coaster. :hug:
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Heidi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-16-09 09:36 AM
Response to Reply #1
7. !
:hug:

:loveya:

:pals:
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Lorien Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-16-09 10:24 AM
Response to Reply #1
14. You and me both. I think I've been having them since turning 40
so that's four years and counting now! I think the hopeless feeling comes from all the things yet undone. :-(
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HopeHoops Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-16-09 08:54 AM
Response to Original message
3. Oh yeah.
I thought it was going to be a Harley. Unfortunately, it was a dark and painful incident I wish not to discuss.

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Maine-ah Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-16-09 09:03 AM
Response to Reply #3
4. A Harley would be a hell of a lot easier.
for me...so far...I feel like I have gone back to being a teenager, or wanting to. And sex. Maybe that's my age too. Can't get enough. Maybe TMI, but that's how I feel.

*this is not a sex thread*

thought I should put that in there.


oh, I'm getting my belly button pierced today. I'll post pics afterwards.
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HopeHoops Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-16-09 09:11 AM
Response to Reply #4
5. My wife turned 46 this past weekend. The "can't get enough" thing hit her.
I'm a guy, so this may seem weird to say, but there's a limit to what I can DO!

Again, not a "sex thread", just a "life's circumstances" post.
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Maine-ah Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-16-09 09:35 AM
Response to Reply #5
6. it sucks.
seriously. I walk around like this all day. I work nights...hubbie works days. We only really see eachother on sundays & mondays and lately it's only been sundays because I'm in over time at work.
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HopeHoops Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-16-09 09:38 AM
Response to Reply #6
8. LOL! We joke about having to "pencil it in"
The spontaneous times are really the best anyway.

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Maine-ah Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-16-09 10:05 AM
Response to Reply #8
10. spontaneity is difficult with a two year old around. lol.
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pitohui Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-16-09 03:46 PM
Response to Reply #10
20. a problem i see here is that yr husband will never be younger than he is today
i think you have to either pencil it in (well you know that) and stick w. the schedule, two yr old or no two yr old, or accept that eventually you're going to get your needs met outside the marriage -- there's a reason that your husband has scheduled his life to preclude time alone w. you -- it may be a good reason (only job he can get) but it still puts pressure on the marriage that needs to be dealt with -- a lot of men fall off a cliff over 40 and need artificial stimulus, it isn't your fault, it's just biology

i don't buy the male excuse of "i'm just a man, there's not much i can do with an oversexed middle aged female," most males in their forties still have full use of their tongues and their fingers, plus most would still be in good enough health to be able to use those little blue pills, so it's a question of whether they're willing to do extra to please you -- if he isn't, well, he isn't

i admit at this time of century there are certain 27 to 29 yr olds that i avoid being alone with, it would just be asking for trouble...fortunately most young men these days make themselves ugly w. tattoos which totally turn me off so it makes it a little easier for me, ha ha

to a certain extent, the things you don't do in your forties and early 50s you'll NEVER do, your career peaks, your income peaks, your chance to climb that mountain is now or never unless you have exceptional knees and so on...if your crisis involves seeing the world, you need to find a way to make it work with a child, seeing the world from a cruise ship when you're 70 isn't going to make up for what you missed

it's pretty easy for us older folks to get away from drugs or it is for me, drinking and gambling, ah, that's a little more challenging -- these two vices are EVERYWHERE in middle age, all you can do is all you can do

a middle aged crisis is nature's way of telling you, it's NOW or NEVER, if you're not willing for it to be NEVER, you're gonna have to figure out how to make it work NOW

me, i have figured ways to travel the world on basically no money, nothing illegal, just chasing deals, coupons, "points" etc -- the world is not gonna wait and it won't be the same place nor will i be the same person if i wait until i'm old and rich -- besides, the odds are high that i'll be old and poor so it's stupid for me to wait

if you don't live your dream in your forties, at the height of your powers, i question when would you ever live your dreams?

the crisis happens for a reason, it's your soul telling you IT'S ONE LIFE TO A CUSTOMER, HAVE YOU LIVED YET?
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guitar man Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-16-09 09:56 AM
Response to Original message
9. Yes
and I opted for this over the young hottie :P

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Maine-ah Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-16-09 10:06 AM
Response to Reply #9
11. hmmm. Maybe I'll just haul out my Dad's old bike.
get my license.

It's small, but so was he. It's a 1971 Yamaha 100. Perfect condition, if it's got 500 miles on it I'd be surprised. Kinda hard to put a car seat on it though, lol.
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guitar man Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-16-09 10:17 AM
Response to Reply #11
12. cool
I had a Yamaha 125 I had a blast on when I was a youngster :)
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Forkboy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-16-09 10:22 AM
Response to Original message
13. At 41 I don't really think I have.
Or maybe I'm just philosophical enough about aging to not care. I have no longing for the past, and no urge to relive anything. I live for today, not yesterday or even tomorrow. Plus, I don't even come close to acting my age, so why wish I was 20 years younger again when I'm still acting pretty much the same way? :)
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DFW Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-16-09 10:47 AM
Response to Original message
15. Not yet, but I haven't really had the time for one.
I'll get back to you in 30 years or so.

Oh, by the way--I'm 57.
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crim son Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-16-09 11:43 AM
Response to Original message
16. Yes.
I dealt by separating, getting divorced, being suicidal, screwing around, drinking to great excess and often, and generally behaving like a complete idiot loser. The divorce was a good thing but the rest was shit. I'm still sitting here, unemployed and miserable but now I can truthfully tell myself it's my own choice, and not somebody else's.

I'd avoid the crisis like the plague if I were you but sometimes it just isn't possible.
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lost-in-nj Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-16-09 11:51 AM
Response to Original message
17. not me but my ex
has it big time
been going through it for at least 4 years


new boat
new motorcycle
new house
new family (with someone 20 yrs younger and 2 kids)
and just recently a new fast car....


said that he didn't want any responsibility
yeah that worked out well

lost
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Mugu Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-16-09 01:41 PM
Response to Original message
18. Anytime that I get the feeling
I go have coffee with my eighty YO friend.
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pitohui Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-16-09 03:52 PM
Response to Reply #18
21. and? how on earth is that helpful?
Edited on Wed Sep-16-09 03:54 PM by pitohui
i see the mobility and mental issues that even the most active and energetic of 80 year olds that i know experience, and i see that the overwhelming majority of 80 year olds have serious limitations on what they can do (most can't even drive at night) and all that does is make me realize how fast time is running out

it doesn't calm the crisis, it transforms crisis into PANIC ATTACK!

people have unrealistic ideas about aging unless they spend a lot of time with the aging, then they realize just how severe and just how inevitable it is

there seems to be a really harsh drop off in powers once you reach 80, i know lots of vigorous 70 year olds but by 80 even the strongest of them is slowing down, and often suddenly and severely, it's truly scary

it's 30 years from 50 to 80 the same number of years from 10 to 40 and we all know how fast that time went by

if you want to do something in life, DO IT NOW


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Sky Masterson Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-16-09 02:27 PM
Response to Original message
19. I have a no-life crisis
Edited on Wed Sep-16-09 02:43 PM by Sky Masterson
:)



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closeupready Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-16-09 03:55 PM
Response to Original message
22. Yes, I dealt with it with a lot of sex. Was fun. Hope I have another one.
:rofl:
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TrogL Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-16-09 03:58 PM
Response to Original message
23. Same as others
Hornier than a 16 year old but frequent malfunctions.

Feeling I haven't accomplished anything in life (ignoring 20 year career, etc.)

Buying toys I can't necessarily afford (new synths for non-existent gigs)
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kjackson227 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-16-09 04:00 PM
Response to Original message
24. Pretty tough going through mid-life crises. A lot of days, I think...
my best days are behind me, not much to look forward to for the future, and getting ready to go through the empty nest syndrome next year which is no fun.
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unpossibles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-16-09 04:03 PM
Response to Original message
25. I had mine at about 20
should I be scared?
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Bucky Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-16-09 05:35 PM
Response to Reply #25
29. When do you hit 40?
If you're already there, you can quit being scared... you've already beaten the system.
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appal_jack Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-16-09 04:56 PM
Response to Original message
26. hmm.... i may be headed that way.
Feel the need for a big change of some sort or another. Travel? Move out to the sticks and become a philosopher-farmer (this seems likely today)...

Since I'm not married, and have no kids, I'm pretty free to do something wacky without causing chaos in others' lives. Watch out world!

-app
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tigereye Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-16-09 04:59 PM
Response to Original message
27. yup, it seemed to involve a lot of loud rock and roll and finding my inner
Edited on Wed Sep-16-09 04:59 PM by tigereye
rowdy rocker again and looking after needs I had previously felt were frivolous. (after 10 years of feeling stuck in my parent-hood and work "box.") I was about 45 or so at the time. So I can't say it was a bad thing - it gave me needed perspective. DU and meeting folks who had the same love of music that I did, helped too.
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Bucky Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-16-09 05:34 PM
Response to Original message
28. I think it was technically "empty nest syndrome", unless I haven't had it yet.
I'm 45 now. If I don't hit midlife soon, I'm gonna have to find a way increase my retirement savings. I don't think I can afford to live too far past 90.
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KamaAina Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-16-09 07:13 PM
Response to Original message
30. I thought I was sort of coming out of it finally
then I dreamed about her again the other night... this is since May. :(
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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-16-09 07:15 PM
Response to Original message
31. Yup. Back in college and starting to feel a direction...
Now I need to translate remaining nervous energy into following said passions. Nothing to lose...
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triguy46 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-16-09 07:30 PM
Response to Original message
32. A picture is worth a thousand words:
<a href="This image link contains an illegal code" target="_blank"><img src="" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>
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femmocrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-16-09 09:23 PM
Response to Original message
33. Yes, around age 40.
I went back to college. Made a big change in my life.
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Generic Brad Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-16-09 09:29 PM
Response to Original message
34. I'm not sure. It really depends on when I am going to die
Mid-life is relative to when you pass away.
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Odin2005 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-17-09 06:51 PM
Response to Original message
35. I had a quarter-life crisis this spring.
:(
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