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Why Captain Sisko was the best Starfleet Captain ever.

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rcrush Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-08-09 02:19 PM
Original message
Why Captain Sisko was the best Starfleet Captain ever.
http://www.holyducttape.com/cronan/sisko.html

1. When insulted by Q he punched him.
2. When klingons attack him he not only kicks their ass but gets them to surrender.
3. His son isn't a snot nosed geek.
4. His XO doesn't wears a cool earing.
5. He has never, ever been split into a good and evil half.
6. After being crtically wounded he still has a sense of humor.
7. Janeway worshiped a god. Kirk fought a god. Picard became a god. Sisko has done all three withstyle.
8. Makes Southern Baptists Preachers jealous.
9. Can lay out a guilt trip like no other.
10. Hasn't been beaten in hand to hand combat.
11. Drinks Klingon Coffee (raktajino) instead Earl Grey or wimpy human coffee.
12. First Officer has never betrayed the Federation.
13. Has a Doctor that doesn't mind killing a couple of Klingons before breakfast.
12. One word: Defiant.
13. Sisko's girl came back even though it meant a jail sentence.
14. After a Klingon killed his friend, Sisko kicked his ass really hard.
15. He and his crew took on a Klingon fleet.
16. His engineer never had to go to the academy because he is SOOOOOO good.
17. He can out Ferengi the Ferengi.
18. His science officer has found anomalies boring.
19. He lost his true love to the Borg not some wimpy Klingons or Q.
20. After fighting the Dominion he went and got a new ship. After five years Kirk got the same ship with a software upgrade.
21. When he say, "fire a spread of torpedoes" Worf fires more than one.
22. He managed to SAVE his son from the Klingons.
23. He actually realizes that there is no up and down in space.
24. Worf wouldn't live much longer if threatened to kill Sisko where he stood.
25. Q came to DS9 once and was scared away. He won't leave Janeway or Picard alone.
26. Two words: Quantum Torpedeos.
27. Sisko makes a better Klingon than Worf.
28. Plays baseball instead of reading Shakespeare.
29. Fought the gentically engineered soldiers (Jem'Hadar) in hand to hand and not only won but gained their respect.
30. When he chases Maquis in to the badlands he doesn't get lost.
31. His XO fought the Cardassians and won.
32. His Bartender doesn't wear silly hats.
33. When he opens fire nothing survives.
34. His ship has armor.
35. He lets Worf get violent.
36. Not only did he help build the Defiant he can cook too.
37. His son actually looks like him.
38. He can get his uniforms tailored.
39. Destroying Klingon ships is a hobby.
40. He has never been captured by the Cardies.
41. O'Brien and Worf prefer him to Picard.
42. When Admirals go crazy he holds them at phaser point. Picard just talks to them in a stern voice.
43. Starfleet listens to him instead of the other way around.
44. He was prophesied.
45. He has fought enemies that would make Kirk cringe.
46. If you are lying he will tell you so.
47. Sisko was scared once. He didn't like it and has never been since.
48. He saves the Federation on a daily basis.
49. When someone betrays him he promises to hunt them to the ends of quadrant.
50. He knows what a hot dog is.
51. When he was only a commander he had the most powerful ship in the fleet.
52. Death is scared of him.
53. Kirk has to slingshot around the sun. Janeway and Picard are sucked into temporal rifts. Sisko has an orb that is safe, clean and quick.
54. He never had to steal his cloaking device.
55. His XO looks good in leather.
56. Both Janeway and Picard have been stuck in the Delta Quad. Sisko know better.
57. He holds a grudge.
58. He always shoots to kill.
59. When he gets angry he makes Klingons cry.
60. Sisko saved Kirk's life from a tribble.
61. He is a major figure of Earth History.. twice. (Gabriel Bell and Ben Sisko).
62. Has crossed over into parallel universe. Not scared. Did it again.
63. Avery is by far the best first name of a ST Captain's actor.
64. Only person who doesn't get weak in the knees just looking at Terry Farrell.
65. Only person on DS9 not afraid of Kira.
66. Used to hang out with Curzon Dax.
67. Can throw a killer fastball.
68. Is a GOOD Dad.
69. He can hold his liquor.
70. After saving the Klingons he STILL went to war with them.
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proteus_lives Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-08-09 02:46 PM
Response to Original message
1. Reason #71
He's James T. Kirk's illegitimate black great-grandchild.
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sarge43 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-08-09 06:32 PM
Response to Original message
2. #72. Can sing well. #73. Shoots a mean game of craps.
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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-08-09 06:47 PM
Response to Original message
3. And Q still won that argument:
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MilesColtrane Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-08-09 06:51 PM
Response to Original message
4. 74. Can chew more scenery than Kirk and Denny Crane combined.
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laconicsax Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-08-09 07:43 PM
Response to Original message
5. #75. Conned the Romulans.
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Liberal_in_LA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-08-09 07:45 PM
Response to Original message
6. 80. moved into some kind of spiritual being role. We need a movie to catch up with what happened
after DS9
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rcrush Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-08-09 09:19 PM
Response to Reply #6
7. Damn right!
I kept wishing there would be a tv movie or something to show what happens after the dominion war ended. Instead all we get is Prequel crap!
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dorkulon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-08-09 09:21 PM
Response to Original message
8. Laughs like Dr. Hibbert. nt
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