"Robot Lesbian Roofing and Siding."

[Robb]

I need a logo. But first, the story:

I'm home alone with baby daughter these days while mom's at work. We live in a house with T-Loc roofing, which is a kind of asphalt shingle they don't make anymore. This is important, because roofers everywhere have learned that if there's damage to a T-Loc roof, the insurance company has to replace the entire thing. This means good money for them, and a rash of roofing salesmen who try to convince homeowners to file a bogus claim on a single damaged tile.

Certainly not all roofers are like this. But there are enough that we get between three and five per week knocking on the door. Many, many more since the big hailstorm. We have some damage, got a check from the insurance company, and plan to get the work done later in the summer, since it's not urgent and there will probably be more hail.

I have a sign on my door that says "Baby Sleeping." It's right by the doorbell.

All set? OK.

So today I'm napping with my daughter, in that she's passed out (finally) on the ottoman and I'm curled up in the chair dozing. And the doorbell rings. I'm half asleep. I look out and see some guy with a clipboard and pleated-front khaki pants. This, I've discovered, is the uniform of the roofing salesman.

I open the door.

"What can I do for you?"

He pushes a pamphlet into my hand. "Hi, I'm not here to sell you anything, but I wanted to let you know we can get you a new roof for free!"

"I already have another company doing the work," I lied.

"Oh yeah? Who?"

This is where, for no reason I can imagine, I say "They're called Robot Lesbian Roofing and Siding."

I say it deadpan, because I'm sleepy. He starts to nod, then realizes I've said something, er, interesting.

"You're kidding, right?"

I'm awake now. I make solid eye contact.

"Does that sound any more unlikely to you than me giving my business to someone who can't read?" I say coldly, pointing at my sign.

He steps back off the porch. "Oh, yeah, sorry."

And he leaves.

I decide right then and there to make a yard sign, like the other contractors have, that says something like "work proudly being done by Robot Lesbian Roofing and Siding Inc." So, I need a logo. :D

But wait: I looked later at the little pamphlet he left me. I swear on a stack of anything, it says "PROFESSIONAL WORK, SIDING AND ROFFING."

Roffing.

Goddamn it. He actually really was illiterate. :eyes:

[MrMickeysMom]

1. That's hilarious, yet believable...

... and something I needed to laugh about before working a 12 hr shift tomorrow, where I'm sure to run into many distant cousins of this person/man in Khaki pants. :P

[Ikonoklast]

2. Don't Google 'roffing'.

Lots of 'Professional Roffers' out there.

Whatever the hell that is, they are in the business of doing it.

[Robb]

7. Hm. You're right.

And it seems that's the way they spell it in (largely) Kentucky and West Virginia. :D

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

3. That's hilarious!

[Bossy Monkey]

4. Rosie from the Jetsons?

Maybe the brochure was supposed to say rolfing.:) Or :rofl:ing

[bluedigger]

5. Can we assume the siding is all tongue and groove?

:hide:

[Schema Thing]

6. we can

lol, well played.

[Curtland1015]

8. Will the robots "1000101" on the roof?

Because I'd pay to see that. As long as they are competent roofers. I expect quality out of my lesbain robot roofers and siders.