This bugs the hell out of me: "Table" dance vs. "Lap" dance

[lildreamer316]

(general rant not aimed at anyone in particular here; meant to be informative)

A table dance is a dance I do at the table with the customer in a chair of some sort. I may lean in close; I may put one foot up on the chair side or on the customer's knee; I may literally bend over backwards so that the top of my back touches the chest area of the customer. However, I will in NO WAY touch the actual lap area. Therefore, whenever I give my basic dance in the common area of a club, I am giving a table dance - a dance at the table, as the name implies.

A lap dance is a dance an entertainer will give that, obviously, includes contact with the customer's lap; whether that be in the common area of the club or in a more private setting. This is the kind of dance that usually includes what we call 'grinding'; and in my opinion can lead to what we in the biz also call 'extras'. Unfortunately,it seems over the last 6-8 years, this is the kind of dance that is commonly practiced, accepted, and expected at most gentleman's clubs in the US. It is also what is on the forefront of the decline of the business, which I hate.

If anyone is to ever encounter me in my work setting, you will NOT be getting a "lap" dance. You will be getting a table dance. As my sig line says, I want to be an entertainer; not a prostitute. There are plenty of ladies of the night available for that kind of service; don't come to my club and expect it from me. (Can you tell I'm getting old and bitchy yet?LOL)

Of course, my attitude on this is primarily shaped from the fact that I was trained in what is known as "Dollhouse style" dancing..we were first and foremost supposed to comport ourselves as ladies who just happened to get naked, not as wanton crotch-grinding-and-grabbing girls. Hell, in my idea,if I have to make as much physical contact as a "lap" dance requires, then I've lost control of the situation/transaction/whatever. It's true the biggest sex organ is the brain, we just have an interesting way as dancers of getting to it - LOL. It also comes from the fact that when I was training and learning, we were made to follow the letter of the law in my city exactly - our private parts had to stay 12 inches away from the customer at all times.

It just bugs me when people generally refer to all dances as "lap" dances - this automatically brings to mind a mental image of an almost completely sexual event that really isn't the case;at least in my experience since 1994. To me there is a HUGE difference and one not to be taken lightly.

ANyway,enough.I'm sure this is just BS semantics to a lot of people; but it is important to me. And the little things are what is going to make the difference in this industry surviving or failing in the next five to ten years. I have a whole theory about it, someday I may post.

[Schema Thing]

1. whew.....

just in range!





I keed, I keed.

[MrScorpio]

2. I operate on the premise that the exotic dancer is always right

It's much better that way

[lildreamer316]

5. ...

[MajorChode]

3. Wow, I can tell I have a lot to learn about the subject

More field research is clearly needed.

[Curtland1015]

4. I have a hunch...

...you're working your way through college, right?

[lildreamer316]

6. Nope!!

LOL. How many times did I hear that one....sigh.

[Curtland1015]

10. Haw! Well, I think it's just that people that don't frequent "risque" clubs...

...probably don't ever think about it much.

As long as the CUSTOMER realizes the difference, though, that would seem like the important one.

Also, just as something to think about... do you think the ladies that perform lap dances feel the same way about being thought of as prostitutes that you do about being thought of as a lap dancer?

Food for thought! Or not. What ever. I'm just waiting for my chicken wings to be done.

[lildreamer316]

14. There's major

discussion about that very question on the boards for my profession that I frequent. To be truthful, I don't really call them prostitutes, because I know that sometimes a girl just has to make her money. I'm speaking more to the general idea of lap dancing and the fact that it blurred the line so much that now, extras are pretty rampant in the industry - and have come to be even more associated with stripping than they previously were. It's a small line to cross, but it has some really big implications.

Many of the ladies on the boards I'm referring to work in areas where lap dancing and grinding is the norm and the way to go. I don't want to be seen as passing judgment on them in particular; it's really because of the fact that the managers and owners were lazy and did not take responsibility for seeing and understanding what it would mean to let dancers cross that line. The buck should stop at the top. Again, I don't blame a dancer for doing what she feels is probably necessary to remain viable in her market - it's just the fact that the standards have been forgotten, and were there for a reason.

Trust me, this discussion goes on forever and a day.

[taterguy]

7. Is the industry going to survive NC's smoking ban?

Somehow I don't think the patrons are gonna be too thrilled about having to go hang out in the parking lot whenever they need a nicotine fix.

Sorry for the off-topic question.

Excellent rant BTW.

[lildreamer316]

11. Very good question,

and one I haven't seen adressed by any of the local owners yet. Being in the loop a bit,and with the grand opening of Gold Club just thursday, I do wonder. It goes into effect next year, right?
There's got to be some way of challenging it. Makes me irritated as all get-out that they force these clubs to be private, memebership-only, and then try and pull this kind of thing.
I'll let you know if we come upon a good solution. There has to be something I'm not aware of, 'cause none of the owners seem worried.

[kayakjohnny]

8. I'm tucking a handful of ones into this post, just for the sheer heart of it.

It's just like with dogs. There's table dogs and there's lap dogs.


Wait.


Now I'm just confused.

[lildreamer316]

15. LOL!! n/t

[kayakjohnny]

16. Hee hee... glad you're not offended

I really like your post by the way. Very well thought out and presented. Cheers!

[lildreamer316]

18. Oh, never.

If something like that offended me, I would not have lasted a year as a dancer.
Cheers!!

[kayakjohnny]

19. Ah yes, there is that...

Cool then.

[hippywife]

9. I think you've explained

the difference quite well for those unfamiliar with your art. Anyone who doesn't get it is just a creep. Hope you don't have to deal with too many creeps, sweetie.

[lildreamer316]

17. Eh,

shit happens. It comes with the territory. For the perks of being able to work almost in any city the very night you arrive (for cash); you can pay a price. After awhile it is sink or swim - either you know yourself well enough to be able to recover from (ALMOST) anything thrown at you, or you quit. Sometimes you just take some time off. Burnout is a rotating cycle for us, as well as for our djs, waitresses, managers and floormen.

[MineralMan]

12. Interesting information. Having never been to a place where

that stuff takes place, I have learned something.

[kayakjohnny]

13. Then you need some new minerals, man.

(keeding)

[MineralMan]

20. Yah, well, it's not my bag, I'm afraid. If I want to see a naked woman,

my wife's usually happy to oblige. I think she'd object to lap dances, etc., and rightly so.

Whatever floats a guy's boat, I guess, but it's not for me.

[kayakjohnny]

22. Cool man

I was just razzin ya on your nic anyway.


It's nice you have a good home life with the misses. Cheers!

[lildreamer316]

28. ..and that's part of the reason I posted this.

It would be good for some significant others of people who either have been, or may in the future go to one of these establishments to understand that not all of us go straight for the sexual organs of a person the minute they plop themselves into an available position. Stripping was, and still is, supposed to be more about the suggestion of seduction- visual and with some conversation- than actual physical stimulation. This is why burlesque is having its' great revival at the moment.

I am glad you are very happy with your lady wife. Men like you will never be seen where I work, and that's all as it should be...

[I Have A Dream]

21. Nice rant, my friend!

[lildreamer316]

24. ...

Somedays I've got it, some days I don't.

[flvegan]

23. This is the best OP the Lounge has seen in...I have no idea how long.

I admit though, that when it comes to gentleman's clubs, Tampa is a sewer and everything everywhere is a lap dance. At least it used to be. Wait a minute...Holy crap, I haven't been to a club in 17 years.

What am I doing here at home?

[lildreamer316]

26. THERE you go.

No seriously, the girls on the boards are raising holy hell about the money, not just everywhere, but especially in Tampa. I dunno what's going on down there but it can't be good.

The whole industry is due for a wakeup call,and it's coming down the pipes.

Men shouldn't worry, there will always be a place where they can go to be seedy if they so choose, but I think the model that the gentleman's club industry has been based on since the late 80s is about to get a serious overhaul, courtesy many state and local lawmakers. See: Ohio's new shut=down-at-11PM-and-stay-clothed/several feet away laws that were just upheld in court; Washington State's new rush to raid; Houston's serious crackdown and sin tax; New Jersey's attempt at the same, NYC's push to base a new licensing law on the UN's sex trafficking reports; raids on the top clubs in Dallas and Las Vegas that netted several prostitution arrests (UNHEARD of in Vegas for top clubs to be treated this way!); and the push for the same kind of laws in other states such as South Carolina.

It's going to be a bumpy ride, all due to the basics of what I was saying..when you've crossed a line and allowed it to happen over and over, it eventually ripples out to serious consequences.

Sorry, I'm no fun today. I'll have a drink and rejoin you later...

[rug]

25. If you post this in GD they'll move on from Gates.

[lildreamer316]

27. I wish. I think they'd just move it back here..

and I'll be completely honest, you all here in the Lounge are so much nicer to me on this subject than the lovelies in GD. I don't feel like defending my choice fifty times, ya know?
Eh, whatever..where's my wine? Salut!

[Locrian]

29. long ago....

Back when I was younger I used to frequent some of the FL joints.... most long gone or "changed". It was quite a show - and I mean that sincerely. Entertainment - as you said.

Maybe a lot of it was the big increase in drugs, I dunno, the general attitude, ?? The guys (although never really very "sophisticate" LOL) were at least a little more subdued. Seems to me a lot of it is the customers got more and more shitty, but what do I know?

>>>It's true the biggest sex organ is the brain

That is the biggest truth, and it's sad that the people running the show dont GET IT. I always liked the show (beauty, dance, and a little tease) and the FUN, as long as everyone was cool about it. It's all about the fantasy.

But then, maybe people are getting stupider...


Hats off to you and your dancing - I'll always have a soft spot (no pun intended!) for all the girls that made me smile and forget about all my cares!

[lildreamer316]

30. ...and we

have a soft spot for people such as you!

Eh, a lot of the girls today would say I'm old-fashioned and out of touch. But if you check some of my other responses upthread, you'll see that, at least IMHO, the business needs my style of performance-or at least something resembling it-to 'redeem' itself (rescue, is more like it) from the inevitable - that is, being nearly legislated out of business. These owners and managers were not paying attention and have let things get out of hand. Because they have not taken the initiative to get them back in hand themselves, a lot of jursidcitons have decided to lay down the law, literally. It's quite the threat all over the country.

I forsee a future where there are a few high-end almost-burlesque type clubs, and a few seedy, anything-goes clubs. But either way, some change is gonna come.

[tigereye]

31. that was very interesting - thanks for explaining what you do...

[lightningandsnow]

32. You are awesome.