Tough Question of the Day: You Must Eat an Animal On the Endangered Species List...Which One?

[MilesColtrane]

In this insane, hypothetical scenario you don't have to kill it. In fact, Dr. Evil has a whole warehouse of pre-killed specimens from which you can choose.

But, choose you must, or he will destroy the entire world/ your family/ whatever else you would consider indispensable.

Dr. Evil is not all evil though. He will provide a gourmet chef to prepare your selection to your desired specifications.

So what's it going to be...a Bulmer's fruit bat frappé, a Mexican bobcat burger, Bighorn sheep shanks?

Here's the menu.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_endangered_species_in_the_US

I think I'd go with a Mauritius kestrel Caesar salad. mmmmm

[nuxvomica]

1. Sounds like a frickin' wild-ass situation

So I guess the African Wild Ass would be appropriate.

[MilesColtrane]

2. Sounds tough.

I'd let that marinate a good long time first.

[rcrush]

13. You ought to try the Asian Wild Ass

[Deep13]

23. Best idea I've heard all day.

:evilgrin:

[HopeHoops]

3. That's REALLY a tough question - I'm vegetarian!

I wouldn't eat any of them.

By the way, if you've never seen the movie "The Freshman", you need to - Marlin Brando and is it Matthew Broderick? Non-stop funny, but related to endangered species.

[mitchum]

7. "Here she is, your Komodo dragon!"

Fantastic movie

[MajorChode]

15. You get a different menu..

Endangered species doesn't necessarily mean animals.

http://ncrs.fs.fed.us/gla/tesweb/plants/Plants_Main.htm

[graywarrior]

4. Guess.

[MilesColtrane]

20. Four course meal?

Hawaiian Duck Soup
Laysan Duck Anas salad with a Walnut Vinegarette
Mortadella-Stuffed Pink-headed Duck with Rosemary Roasted Potatoes
White-winged Wood Duck Sorbet

[graywarrior]

38. Perfect

[RT Atlanta]

5. Bald Eagle

b/c I suspect it tastes like chicken, although slightly "gamier"

:)

[MilesColtrane]

Otherwise known as the Bin Laden Blue Plate Special.

[Hugin]

6. Glaucous Macaw.

After spending a summer trapped in a house with a squawking Macaw... Well, it would be sweet revenge.

I'll have it deep fried... Rolled in a nice corn flake batter. :)

Ketchup.

A side of rare wild potato fries.

[MilesColtrane]

34. Once they've been nailed to their perch they can be tough to remove.

[arbusto_baboso]

8. I don't see it on the list, but I'd want BBQ'ed Narwhal.

[MilesColtrane]

22. YOU WOULDN"T EVEN NEED TONGS TO TURN THAT BITCH ON THE GRILL, FUCK YEAH!!!

[SteppingRazor]

9. Manatee steaks.

I'd like to see if it really is the "sea cow." :9

[MilesColtrane]

36. Manatee - It's what's for dinner.

[derby378]

10. Since the list doesn't include reptiles, I'll go with an endangered alligator

I've tried alligator before, and it's pretty good. But I'd still feel guilty, though.

[MilesColtrane]

37. I hear that blackened alligator has quite a bite to it.

[dysfunctional press]

11. komodo dragon...

those fuckers are NASTY and dangerous. if an endangered species had to go extinct, i'd choose this one.

[MilesColtrane]

40. No jury in the world would convict you.

It's eat or be eaten with those fuckers.

[dysfunctional press]

50. their saliva has bacteria & toxins unique to it that have no cure...

ifit bites something- that something is going to die. it might take a few days- but the dragon just follows the trail the something leaves, because it knows that there's a meal at the end of it.

and seeing as the indonesian archipelago has some of the most densely populated areas on earth- it's probably only a matter of time before they are eradicated.

but like i said- if a species HAS to go, this one would make a good candidate.

[XemaSab]

12. I've heard there's good eatin' on an eskimo curlew

If that's, um, "unavailable," then probably a warbler or sparrow. :9

[MilesColtrane]

24. A songbird?

Let me guess. You're French.

For centuries, a rite of passage for French gourmets has been the eating of the Ortolan. These tiny birds—captured alive, force-fed, then drowned in Armagnac—were roasted whole and eaten that way, bones and all, while the diner draped his head with a linen napkin to preserve the precious aromas and, some believe, to hide from God.

[XemaSab]

51. Many bird collectors eat songbirds

and they claim songbirds are tasty.

Any of the fish eaters, on the other hand, would be really nasty.

[NJmaverick]

14. I hear eating an Eastern Cougar

brings one good luck

[MilesColtrane]

26. That has gotten bonuses for many pool boys.

[Initech]

42. Define "cougar".

:evilgrin: :popcorn:

[NJmaverick]

49. ahhh.... just watch this nature documentary

http://www.hulu.com/watch/28761/how-i-met-your-mother-cougar-traits

[MajorChode]

16. I'll have to pass on the African Wild Ass

...but Giant Sable Antelope chili does sound rather tasty.

Just like mom used to make.

How about some Salt Marsh Harvest(chocolate) Mouse?

[MilesColtrane]

27. "How about some Salt Marsh Harvest(chocolate) Mouse?"

Melts in your mouth, not your hands.

[BlueIris]

17. If you're gonna do something offensive, go all the way: Pink Fairy Armadillo.

Sounds tasty.

[MilesColtrane]

39. Offensiveness on the Half Shell, coming up.

[dropkickpa]

18. Alabama Beach Mouse Kebab

They can have a new litter every 21 days with 5-15 pups, so eating one will have less impact than, say, an African elephant.

[MilesColtrane]

35. Yum...I'm thinking a bucket of Popcorn Beach Mice!

[hunter]

19. You shouldn't have threatened me, Dr. Evil!

Looks like you're number one on the Endangered Species today!

BAM! BAM! BAM!

:evilgrin:

I'll be having me some pazole... diced Dr. Evil, hominy, red chiles, etc...

Then me and Dr. Evil's poor abused henchmen are going to party all night drinking lots of Tequila and Beer.

The next morning it will be Dr. Evil menudo, Dr. Evil chorizo and eggs...

The rest of Dr. Evil will be fed to the Condors, providing he's not full of toxins. Otherwise we'll chop him up and feed him to the seagulls.

Mine! Mine! Mine!

All those poor dead endangered species in the warehouse will be sent to a tissue preservation lab for future cloning, research to be paid for with a trust fund set up using Dr. Evil's Swiss bank accounts.

Bwahahaha! Who's Doctor Evil now, baby!!!

[MilesColtrane]

28. What a crazy scenario.

Now you're just being silly.

I try to discuss something serious....


:hide:

[Deep13]

21. If they're already dead, what difference does it make that they are endangered?

:shrug:

[MilesColtrane]

29. So, I'll put you down for the all you can eat buffet?

[cherish44]

25. Well it would be the one with the most meat on it

I guess if I have to eat an endangered species I want it to really count

[MilesColtrane]

31. Carrot Top Brisket with Carrots and Potatoes?

You'd need a couple of quarts of Pepto on standby for that.

[Rosie1223]

30. I hear 'Mongolian Beaver' is an off-the-menu specialty at

Panda Express.

[MilesColtrane]

32. You have to go around to the back steppes to order it.

[Rosie1223]

33. I believe they actually sell Panda there, as well

but only in season.

[hunter]

48. Yum... Panda.

:yoiks:

[Sanity Claws]

41. I'll have some smoked Smoky Mouse

That double smoked flavor should be combined with something cool, like a salad with buttermilk dressing.
Can you advise me of a good wine to go with it?

[MilesColtrane]

44. Something beige, with a screw top...

...and lots of it.

[Initech]

43. I'll take a dolphin omlet with some baby seal and feta cheese mixed in.

[MilesColtrane]

45. You can taste the sorrow!

[backtoblue]

46. Jackolope

[TEXASYANKEE]

47. A Republican

I'd have one with fava beans and a nice Chianti, please.

[KamaAina]

52. Woodland Caribou a la Sarah

wrapped in baloney, and grilled. :P

[bluedigger]

53. Indiana Bat

For an endangered species, they seem to have habitat EVERYWHERE! Damn environmental pain in the ass. Let 'em go, I say. (j/k!)

[Eric68601]

54. Columbian White-tailed Deer

How could you NOT enjoy a deer?

[Zavulon]

55. If required to eat the whole animal, I opt for the smallest one. (NT)

[BreweryYardRat]

56. Does it have to be something from the mammals and birds, or can I go with an invertebrate?

I'd prefer a white abalone, cleaned and cooked with caramelized mango sauce in the traditional California style.

http://ecos.fws.gov/tess_public/SpeciesReport.do?groups=G&listingType=L&mapstatus=1

[csziggy]

57. Dugong steak - they are supposed to be delicious!

And I could feed a whole lot of other people, too.