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If You Were Abducted By Aliens

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Mr. Ected Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 10:19 PM
Original message
If You Were Abducted By Aliens
Would your insurance cover their medical experimentation?

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JTG of the PRB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 10:27 PM
Response to Original message
1. Tracking implants, yes. Probe-related trauma, no.
And don't even get me started on how much I have to pay my dentist if they put a secret device in one of my molars so they can hear my thoughts!
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Ghost in the Machine Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 10:31 PM
Response to Original message
2. Why do you think we're pushing for UNIVERSAL coverage?
:hi:

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Mr. Ected Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 10:33 PM
Response to Reply #2
3. ...
:fistbump:
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petronius Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 10:57 PM
Response to Original message
4. I'm certain it would! Assuming, of course, that the aliens had cleared the procedures
with the preapproval claims administrator by dialing the toll free number. If the procedure was occurring outside of normal business hours, or more than 50 miles from my primary preferred network the ETs would have called the alternate preapproval specialist on the second number. All procedures would have been specified in my primary physician's patient outcome anticipation plan (on file) and any non-standard treatments not listed on form 534555b sub. 4s App. X would have been submitted in triplicate to the preassessment reassessment panel not less than 72 hours before onset of symptoms.

Given all that, I'm sure I'd be covered. What a relief...
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GoddessOfGuinness Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 11:58 PM
Response to Original message
5. Only if they perform the experiments in a hospital
Edited on Tue Jun-30-09 11:58 PM by GoddessOfGuinness
that's included in my plan.
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kentauros Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-01-09 12:03 AM
Response to Reply #5
8. But if they don't
you should be able to sue them for malpractice. I'm sure your insurance company would love that, depending on whether those aliens have deep pockets or not :P
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GoddessOfGuinness Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-01-09 12:10 AM
Response to Reply #8
9. Maybe, but then they'd turn around and charge me
for the ambulance ride.
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kentauros Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-01-09 12:12 AM
Response to Reply #9
10. Yeah, but if you win several tonnes of gold-pressed latinum,
who cares about a measely ecnalubma fee? :D
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GoddessOfGuinness Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-01-09 12:24 AM
Response to Reply #10
11. I've heard they charge Earthlings extra...
so they can afford single-payer on their planet.
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sazemisery Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 11:59 PM
Response to Original message
6. Do aliens take Medicare?
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madeline_con Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-01-09 12:02 AM
Response to Original message
7. Could the code for colonoscopy be used for the anal probe on the paperwork?
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krispos42 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-01-09 01:46 AM
Response to Original message
12. They have single-payer, so I'd be all set
Unlike us, they're not run by Fundies. If they were, they wouldn't be making starships! Hammered-bronze spearpoints, perhaps, but not warp-driven spaceships!
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jeff30997 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-01-09 02:24 AM
Response to Original message
13. No comments.
<----
:hide:
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