Here's what I believed about marriage when I was a Fundy:

[Bertha Venation]

The Bible says that sex is to happen within a marriage only. So I believed that one must remain a virgin until marriage. But how do you know if you're sexually compatible if you don't try it out? was a question I was asked by "non-believers." Simple, I'd reply: God led you to your perfect mate, and he wouldn't let sexual incompatibility happen. Sex would be perfect for you in that sanctified marriage.

That's just one of the many weird things I believed as a Fundy.

Oh, yeah: And divorce was absolutely wrong.

I was a Fundy so long ago that the idea of gay marriage didn't exist, at least not in my world.

[TZ]

1. You were a fundie?

Wow. Talk about a 180! Thanks for sharing...

[raccoon]

2. What changed you? nt

[Bertha Venation]

7. In a word, therapy.

The longer short story is: I was really, really, really fucked up and spent some time in the mental hospital. That began my questioning. First I questioned this idea of a loving God: how could he allow this shit (that caused my craziness) to happen, etc. Once I began questioning I couldn't stop. For a long time I kept going to church, singing in the choir, doing the "young adult" or "singles" activities to find Mr. Right. (BAH. I was so far in the closet, I was in danger of becoming a garment bag.*) But I still questioned, the whole time, the concept of god, jesus, crucifixion, his death for our sins, etc., etc.

It took me years to come to realize that if there is a god it's not the god of the bible. And during those years of questioning I had to come to terms with the guilt about questioning. I wish I had known back then that a faith that isn't questioned isn't worth having.

* credit to Rita Mae Brown

[raccoon]

8. I love Rita Mae Brown! Am now in the middle of SANTA CLAWED. nt

[Bertha Venation]

Be sure to read "Six of One" - it's her best.

I LOVE Rita Mae.

[Orsino]

3. That is the framing they prefer.

Admitting that such a thing is possible concedes too much to the opposition, who can then cry discrimination.

[crim son]

4. Yep.

The fundies, *ike the Catho*ics pretty much have an answer for everything. It has occurred to me *ate*y that not having sexua* experience before marriage isn't the worst thing (if one intends to marry, that is) because I've known a coup*e of wonderfu* men who were so awfu* in bed that I cou*dn't think of a *ong-term re*ationship with them. Maybe I missed out on something great... ignorance is b*iss and a** that?

Anyhow, it's *ike argument against homosexua*ity presented to me by a fundy^^ It doesn't matter if being gay is natura* or genetica**y determined. We are many of us a*so natura**y or genetica**y determined to be vio*ent, or schizophrenic or whatever, but it doesn't make it acceptab*e.

This is why I gave up on organized re*igion. Their "*ogic* was inescapab*e and yet had nothing to do with truth, compassion and *ove of one's fe**ow man.

[grace0418]

5. Great post, but is there something wrong with your "L" key?

Or am I the only one seeing a * everywhere there is supposed to be an L?

Anyway, I agree with your point. I found too many absolutes in organized religion that made no sense to me. They definitely weren't based in love and compassion.

[crim son]

11. I am without severa* keys.

I am a*so without the funds to get a new *aptop. Bear with me?

[grace0418]

29. No problem, I just wanted to make sure my browser wasn't going crazy. I figured out

the missing letter was L after a few words. :)

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

6. What the fuck is up with the lack of L's?

[crim son]

12. I do this just to piss you off.

I *ack co*ons and semico*ons too, a*so the p*us sign and god knows what e*se. You *ikee?

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

14. No.

Usually, if you hit where the missing key is, you can still use that character. You'll just be touching the sensor under the key, instead of the key.

[crim son]

16. Indeed.

The key is actua**y missing, the sensor senses nothing. Boo.

[Dogtown]

24. crim son, you can use an external keyboard w/ your laptop

and can pick one up for about $20. If you're not savvy about your ports, take the laptop into the shop & they'll match you up.

I use a wireless mouse because my hands are to clumsy for the tracball.

EDIT: 'course, you'll have to learn to type all over again. Anyhow, the *s are kiunda cute.

[crim son]

26. I tried to hook up a keyboard I have here

and the ports didn't match, so I thought this machine was too o*d. I'** check it out, though I don't want to *ose any cuteness I may have gained due to my disabi*ity.

[mainegreen]

30. Do you have a round keyboard port, or only the square USB ports?

If it's a round one crim, I've got about 100+ lying around here I think downstairs. Might be able to send one your way.

[crim son]

31. It's round

but didn't fit the round one I have here. How many different ones are there?

[mainegreen]

33. Is it a PS/2 or DIN?

PS/2: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PS/2_connector
DIN: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DIN_connector
If DIN, how many holes?

Note: PS/2 has that rectangular hole, DIN does not.

[crim son]

45. PS/2 with nine ho*es and one rectangu*r ho*e.

It's b*ack, if that makes any differece.

[Dogtown]

32. You got more cuteness than we can handle

all by yourself, crim son. Don't listen to that guy w/ the pencil-mustache, you do *not* need keyboard enhancement.

[BarenakedLady]

42. Did you check if you have an on-screen keyboard

option on your laptop? I used mine when my keys weren't working. Check in your control panel. Ease of Access options. Magically my keys eventually started working again. Oddly enough my L keys has been giving me problems lately.

[crim son]

43. For a moment I was hopefu*!

I guess not. I have sticky keys and that's about it. Bah!

[mainegreen]

9. Crimmy needs a new keyboard.

:D

[crim son]

13. It's a *aptop.

I need a who*e new machine. I remember when I first separated from the ex, I broke a mo*ar and was too depressed to have it repaired. I fe*t so oppressed and miserab*e missing that tooth. This shitty computer has me fee*ing the same way. Underprivi*eged.

[DarkTirade]

17. You need an ASCII cheat sheet handy, so you can fill in missing keys. :)

In this case, holding down alt and 0076 will give you a capital L and then alt and 0108 will give you lowercase.
http://www.asciitable.com/

:)

[crim son]

22. Weawwy?

I check it out! Thanks! It may be too much work however.

[Aristus]

10. She's beating the "L" out of her computer...

:P

[crim son]

15. I am now referring to myse*f as "Bob".

It just seems right.

[Aristus]

18. What for? "crim son" doesn't have any "L's" either...

:P :7 B-) :hug:

[crim son]

20. Oh YEAH!

Duh. (I'd put in the eyero** smi*ey but am not ab*e.) Bad man!

[Aristus]

23. The worst.

I should be spanked...

[crim son]

27. Another notion to ponder... n/t

[Aristus]

28. Happy pondering...

B-)

[Richardo]

19. !

[Aristus]

21. Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all week.

Tip your waitresses!

[arbusto_baboso]

25. That sounds almost exactly like mormonism, except without the even weirder theology.

I converted to marry the currenbt Mrs. Arbusto. Fortunately, we are both "ex" mormons now. Need I say how fucked-up mormonism truly is? I see people defending it on this board claiming "It's not racist, sexist or homophobic." Really? Did you see it from the inside? 'Cuz I did.

[Nicole Lambeth]

35. the "current" mrs. arbusto?

umm...will she be not-so-current any time soon? Just asking. ;)

[arbusto_baboso]

37. No intent for that not to be the case.

Married almost 18 years, no desire to change that status.

[bullwinkle428]

34. Funny how all the fundie churches are totally comfortable with pews

CHOCK FULL O'DIVORCEES, as long as those divorcees happen to be straight! :mad:

[BeachBaby]

36. Ohhhh, Bertha.....

*I'm responding to your OP, as well as other things you said throughout the thread*

I grew up in that environment. I lived it, ate it, breathed it, and slept it. It was all-encompassing - and I never believed an ounce of it.

My parents punished me for asking questions; in Christian school, I was repeatedly sent to the Principal's Office for "disrupting class" (I was asking too many questions); and I freaked out every Sunday School teacher from 3rd grade, all the way up to when I left the church/school (age 18).

One of my best friends killed herself because she couldn't take the pressure/rules/indoctrination handed her by her parents, school and church.

I don't look at myself, or you, as "victims". We are survivors. :)

Thanks for sharing your story. :hug:

[SacredCow]

39. You'd have LOVED the school I went to in Jr. high....

Fundie whackadoos, they were. Praying in tongues, laying on of hands- all of that good stuff.

A good friend of mine was marching to their tune- she was all about their kool-aid. BUT.... She was also fascinated by other cultures and religions, and was a voracious reader in that vein.

One day, she was reading the book of Mormon and the headmaster saw her. I could literally hear the fuses popping in his head. He snatched the book from her and drug her to the office. She calmly explained that she didn't believe the book- but that she just wanted to know what they were about. His response was on the order of, "Well, I've already read it, and it's garbage. But you really shouldn't be reading that stuff- you need to learn how to become a good wife and mother."

So, yeah- they were of the ilk that women were baby-machines and little else.

Good times. :eyes:

:hi: and :hug:

[SacredCow]

38. Strangely enough... I personally know of one case of absolute sexual incompatibility....

Nice couple, and they waited until marriage. Cut to the wedding night, and.... Well..... Ummmmmm..... Let's just say that it was like trying to put a cucumber into a coke bottle. They physically could not have intercourse, and they ended up getting a divorce (though totally amicable) over it. They're still great friends and have since married other people.

I guess there could be surgical options for such a problem, but I suppose they didn't want to go that route.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

40. That could happen.

There are guys out there, a few, with too much of a good thing.

I never married one, though.

[SacredCow]

41. yeah....

As I understand, he was "gifted" in that regard, but I can't verify that!

[Withywindle]

44. I lived with one. There is definitely such a thing as too big.

There are ways to work around it, with a lot of patience, imagination, alternative play, and lube.

All things that sexually clueless fundies tend to be short on. Personally, I'm extremely glad I got my nervous-tight-dry-clumsy-virginness over with long before I met anyone I wanted to be with long-term. That state of being doesn't have much to recommend it, IMO.

[LynneSin]

46. Perhaps God did lead you to your perfect mate

He just kinda goofed the first time around