I got yelled at for being left-handed today

[Godhumor]

Not even at a restaurant where I've had references made to eating with the "wrong" hand (Thanks etiquette!).

I was signing the screen on an electronic credit card swiper at the grocery store when a woman behind me said, "Oh, you're left-handed."

I nodded.

"You know sinister means left-handed, right?"

I nodded again.

"So, you're the devil's child."

At this point I turned around and said, "Excuse me?"

"Your parents should have made you right-handed when you were a baby."

I responded with a simple, "Lady, I'm just trying to buy groceries not learn about some stupid theory as to why I'm going to hell."


Lord only knows what she would have said if she knew I was married to a Buddhist.

[nickgutierrez]

1. Good answer.

It's so weird that she thought that was something that should be brought up in casual conversation with a total stranger.

[Godhumor]

4. I'm wondering if it is a personal crusade of her's or something

I can't imagine I'm the first to hear this. God only knows what happened (happens?) if she has a left-handed child.

[PaddyBlueEyes]

2. When I was kid in Catholic School

one of my teachers was a verrrrry old nun. I naturally wrote left handed and she FORCED me to write right handed, needless to say my handwriting now sucks with both hands..

[Godhumor]

8. My handwriting is still terrible

I blame it on being taught to write by a right-hander while learning to write with my left hand--I hold the pen all wrong.

That said, I had to learn to catch, cut paper, etc. with my off hand due to my elementary school not stocking provisions for left-handers.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

41. The same thing happened to me

Some things (like brushing my teeth), I still can't do right-handed.

[elshiva]

3. Sorry. What century was she from?

:hug:

[Godhumor]

6. It was one of the weirder conversations I've been involved in for sure

It just seems like such an odd thing to fixate on.

[elshiva]

9. Especially in a grocery store.

:(

[3.14158675309]

5. Could she possibly be married to the Dave from sniffa's blog?

:think:

[Dr. Strange]

55. Nom nom nom.

:hide:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

7. Doesn't she realize that you would have still been Born the devil child

no matter what your parents would have or would not have done to disguise the fact ;)

[Prisoner_Number_Six]

10. *GASP* You use the EVIL hand, you hell spawn you.

My father was one of you. I know all about you people.

:rofl:

[Jamastiene]

27. Muahahahaha!

:evilgrin: :hi:

[BeachBaby]

11. Wow. I actually get a lot of "Wow!" from people when they see me writing.

I usually get "Cool - you're a southpaw!" or "Hey - did you know that statistically, left-handed people are more intelligent?" You know, NICE things.

I can't say I've ever had someone attack me for being a southpaw. That's fucked up.

[BattyDem]

12. She actually said "So, you're the devil's child" ???

:wtf:

[Godhumor]

18. I think her definition of sinister didn't have much affect, so she had to one up it

Apparently, I need to have the connection between sinister and evil being spelled out.

[Odin2005]

13. WTF? There are still idiots like that around?

:crazy:

[redqueen]

40. Hopefully not for much longer. (nt)

[Dappleganger]

14. What the hell kind of nosy bitch speaks like that?

I think I would have stabbed her in the eye with that pen.

[LeftyMom]

15. The nuns who taught my Dad to write can't still be alive, can they?

I guess they could, they'd just be very old.

Was the crazy lady by chance over eighty and wearing a habit?

[Godhumor]

17. Heh, no habit but definitely in the retirement age

Fun time.

[PaddyBlueEyes]

22. My teacher probably was

she has to be dead now though....evil woman.

[LeftyMom]

23. I assume these nuns would be long gone too.

My Dad is old enough that if they'd just started teaching when he was in school it's possible one or two might still be around (they'd be in their eighties or nineties) but that's a lot of ifs. I just had to get a good Catholic school joke in.

Apparently his were all positively evil too- he has an absolute dread of authority figures and I think that's where it came from.

[PaddyBlueEyes]

24. well

since I was often the class clown. *shocker, I know* she and I became quite close, in fact she probably has some of my hair still in the palm of her hand..!

[Iggo]

16. You shoulda thrown her the horns.

Left handed, of course.

[Godhumor]

19. Ha! I wish I had thought of that.

Classic!

[SoCalDemGrrl]

20. Other lefties: Aristotle, Bill Clinton, Barack Obama, Charlie Chaplin, Jay Leno,

David Lettterman, Jimi Hendrix, MC Escher, Paul McCartney, Da Vinci...and ME!!

Oh yeah, we're all the Devil's Spawn.. :sarcasm:

[LeftyMom]

21. Let's see

Pagan, got a blowjob, the antichrist, played Hitler in a movie, tells off color jokes, ditto, heroin, math larnin', vegetarian, painted nudity in a church, posts on DU.

Yep, all goin' straight to hell. There must be something to that sinister lefties thing.

[Pool Hall Ace]

45. Yes, I wonder if this lady realizes the scawy Black Man in the White House

is left-handed. And that other Demon-rat was, too! :crazy:

[Manifestor_of_Light]

25. Time for the Latin lesson.

"Sinister" is Latin for "left".

"Dexter" is Latin for "right".

On your glasses scrip it has "O.S." for "oculus sinister" or left eye.
"O.D." is "oculus dexter" or right eye.

That's all.

Ignorant fundy. :wtf: :wtf:

[Jamastiene]

26. I would have leaned in toward her really fast and growled.

That's what I did to my kindergarten teacher when she made a big deal out of me being left handed. She stopped that shit right quick. I never got along in Christian school very well. The water...it burned. :evilgrin:

[Downtown Hound]

28. I would have told her that I just put the devil's curse on her

And that any day now her eyes were going to fall out. Don't fuck with us left handers!

[hobbit709]

29. Since the opposite side of the brain controls that side

Just tell her that left-handed people are the only ones in their RIGHT minds.

[piratefish08]

30. You are old enough to know better. Now STOP this evil left-handed sorcery!!

Everyone knows that gawd hates shellfish and lefties.

STOP IT NOW!


:crazy:

[Bossy Monkey]

31. "Your parents should have taught you not to bother strangers with insane ramblings

but parenting's hard and nobody's perfect."

[Orsino]

32. Or shortened to:

"Your parents should have taught you."

[Bossy Monkey]

48. Or split the difference: "Your parents should have taught you how to behave in public"

:toast:

[Strong Atheist]

33. You were more polite than I would have been...

:mad:

[datasuspect]

34. thou hast carrieth the indelible mark and taint of beezlebub

god hath forsaken thee.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

36. heehee--

you said 'taint' :)

[Dyedinthewoolliberal]

35. As a fellow lefty

I must commend you for your restraint! :) You could have offered her the chance to experience a left hook! :evilgrin:

[Deep13]

37. Why Believing the Irrational Is Bad

That would be a good title to your story. :hi: <----lefty

[SKKY]

38. I would have replied like this...

Yea, I know, but my right hand hurts from cutting the throats of so many puppies and kittens. I think I might even have Carpal Tunnel from it.

[northzax]

39. Jesus was left handed

Pontius Pilate was a righty. Who's side are you on, lady?

That's what I would have said.

[TZ]

42. I've heard about this.

I've also heard about horrible things parents would do to make their children's become right handed in order to conform :shudder:. I suspect you were talking to a true fundamentalist..one who would also believe that homosexuality is a sickness that needs to be cured.

[MorningGlow]

43. I cannot believe that shit is still around

When MG Jr. was a baby and hadn't gravitated toward being right or left handed yet, if my aunt ever saw him using his left hand for ANYthing, she'd try to switch whatever he had (sippy cup, toy, spoon, crayon) to his right. I thought Mr. MG was going to murder her on the spot. (Hee--he's a lefty.)

I don't suppose it would have been worth it to explain to Crazy Supermarket Lady that the original definition of sinister (meaning "left") predates the later application of "evil"...? No, I didn't think so. The drawbridge was up and she had already released the flying monkeys.

[Gormy Cuss]

44. That was an adroit reply

especially for a lefty.;-)

[Shell Beau]

46. That woman was LOONY!

Nice response though! :thumbsup:

[yoyossarian]

47. You, me and Michelangelo!

I've heard that forcing a child to change from left to right-handedness
can really screw 'em up mentally... perhaps this is why other famous
lefties include Jack the Ripper, The Boston Strangler, Dillinger, John
Wesley Hardin and Pat Robertson!

And of course, Anti-Christ Ronald Reagan!--and the littler Anti-Christ
who issues forth from the first to continue the original's mischief,
George H. W. Bush--notable as lefties who leaned so hard to the right
that they destroyed America as we once knew it!

But Clinton and Obama are also lefties who embrace their natural tendencies
to undo the damage of their fallen brethren...

THIS guy was neither left nor right-handed--he was EXTREMELY ham-handed!



Lovely and Elegant Pig-Mittens!
For today's fashion-conscious fascist!

So there have been great and terrible lefties throughout history; a
terrific list of same can be found at
http://www.indiana.edu/~primate/left.html

Joan of Arc was left-handed, as was Albert Schweitzer...
When we're good, we're VERY good... but when we're BAD... hoo boy!



Great gift tee shirts, mugs, buttons and other cool stuff at


Laugh City!

President Evil Online has risen from the grave!

[mnhtnbb]

49. Too bad you didn't say, "Your parents should have taught you that unsolicited advice

is rarely welcome. So why don't you mind your own business before I put a spell on you."

[tinkerbell41]

50. My child

In Pre-school the teachers said "she's using her left hand , we try to make her use the right."
My reply, "Let her use the hand she wants to"
I'm right handed, but curiously so. I have received so many comments over the years, that I'm doing it backwards, my dentist asked if i was left handed (way I brushed) I've had bosses ask me.
I believe I was a lefty,and forced to change by some barbaric Nursery School, or gasp Sunday School Teacher.

[Sequoia]

51. Some kid called me that when I was a kid.

Black hair, left-handed...yep, devil's daughter.

But an adult saying that!! You should've said, Hey lady, takes one to know one. Wink. See ya in hell baby!

[CreekDog]

52. Tell the manager

Maybe she'll learn what an appropriate comment is, or she'll have more time to learn what one is.

[no name no slogan]

53. You should have turned to her and said,

in a menacing voice,

SATAN IS WITH US! POOF, YOU'RE A GOAT!

And laughed maniacally and then left the store.

I bet that would've scared the shit outta her.

[blueraven95]

54. My first year in college I was assigned a roommate who said

basically the same thing.

Needless to say, we didn't stay roommates for very long.

[nickinSTL]

56. lucky it was you and not my wife...

I would be trying to figure out how to get her a good defense lawyer now.

What incredible stupidity.

I'm right-handed but I'm completely ambidextrous when eating. I often eat left-handed. I've fortunately never had any negative comments about it, though some people have commented, it's mostly been curiosity.

[WinkyDink]

57. As a Lefty, I think I'd have said, "Your parents should've made you smart."

[mulsh]

58. you're way more polite than I would have been.

I'm a lefty too. the weirdest thing any one ever said to me was when my mom's childhood friend, a nun, said, "oh, he's a cunt hand". and snickered. My mom told me that's what they used to call left handed boys at her all girls highschool. her friend was a little crazy, even for a nun.

Years later I had to do some work for her retirement convent, I mentioned to the mother superior my mom's friend lived there when she asked me her name I couldn't remember it but told we called her "sister nutsy fagen". "oh you must mean sister Janet, that's what we call her too"

[Pacifist Patriot]

59. You are so much nicer than I am.

I'd have said a lot more than you did.