Somedays, writing poetry is like pulling teeth.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

I just completely erased my poem on death, and started from scratch. I cannot tell if it's any better, or not.

Damn.

Somedays, I just cannot get the damn words to work.

I guess I'm tired...

Probably should go to bed...

But I don't want to just yet.

[Strong Atheist]

1. Go to bed and let the sub-c work on it...

:hug:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

2. My dear Strong Athiest!

Sometimes that does help...

Thanks, sweetie...:hug:

[Droopy]

3. I've heard authors say

that they sometimes do pretty good work when they feel like they are struggling. Don't erase anything now, Peggy. Just set it aside and maybe a few days from now you'll have a different perspective and find that some of the work you did when you felt like you were going nowhere is actually salvageable.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

5. My dear Droopy...

Ah well, too late for that...

I erased it from my word program, and that baby is gone.

But I had been working on it for several days, and believe me, I had edited all the life out of it!

The new version is much stronger...

And I did use many of the same ideas and some of the same phrases...

Just in a more forceful way.

Thanks for helping!

:hug:

[ccharles000]

4. When you do get it done I am sure it will be lovely.

:hug:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

6. My dear ccharles000...

Aw, thanks, sweetie...

I sure hope so!

I'd hate to let you all down...

:hug:

[bluesbassman]

7. Never erase anything!

Just put it in a folder where you can go back and review. You never know where you'll find a gem!:hug:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

8. My dear bluesbassman!

Ah, I erase stuff all the time...

But believe me, the good stuff always stays.

I store my poetry in my Word program, and keeping everything is out of the question...

And I have a little book where I write down my inspirations...

I always keep those...

Thanks, sweetie...:hug:

[oshyposhy]

9. keep at it

Sometimes I feel that way about my blog...but I keep writing.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

10. My dear oshyposhy!

Ah, believe me, I am not quitting...

This stuff is in my blood, and I have to let it out...

I like to say that the words thrash and bang till I write them down!

Thanks for the encouragement, sweetie...:hug:

[EFerrari]

11. Does your work come in cycles, Peggy?

Sometimes trying to force it is like forcing the kettle to whistle. lol

Mine does seem to be cyclical. The very beginning and the last thoughts are troubly. Middle is worth it though. :)

[CaliforniaPeggy]

12. My dear EFerrari...

You mean the poem itself?

Usually I have the beginning idea down pretty well...

The middle is often a problem, but once I get through that, the ending usually suggests itself...

The one I'm working on now is about death, and the whole damn thing is giving me fits!

If I can really get in the groove, it'll be worth it too!

:hi:

[EFerrari]

16. Well, I think I meant more the group of poems. They move in packs

you know.

:hi:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

17. Oh, OK...

I've had my poems come that way too...

But not always. I remember one weekend where they were pouring out of me! It was amazing...

But then sometimes they come one at a time...

I never know which way they'll be.

I just write when I need to!

:hi:

[Droopy]

13. Good point

I like to write, too, and there are times when I'll write five short stories in a week. Then there are times like now when I can't write anything that is worth reading and it might be like that for a couple of months.

[EFerrari]

18. Lately I've been using a "filling up the tank" strategy.

If something interests me, I try to fill up on the topic as much as I can. Eventually, the writing is just there. It's been helpful because it gives me something to do in between that I can use. :hi:

[mcctatas]

14. You are very talented Peggy and I always enjoy your work

:hug:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

15. My dear mcctatas...

And you are a sweetheart...

I'm so pleased you always enjoy my work...

I just went to look at my poem, and I like how it looks now.

I may post it tomorrow (NO promises, though) if I continue to like how it looks...

:hug:

[MilesColtrane]

19. That's a toughie.

Death is completely unknowable.

We substitute the same metaphors and archetypes; being buried alive, being asleep, being frozen, but they all fall equally far from the reality.

Maybe it can only be defined by what it isn't, which is the only thing we can know.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

21. My dear MilesColtrane...

It is a tough subject...

But I am determined to do this.

And my poem is more about my reaction to the loss of a loved one than it is about my own death...

But it's still not easy...

Thanks for your thoughts!

:hug:

[stewartcolbert08]

20. I only write when I am super upset about something....observe!

And first let me tell you, I have never shared this w/ anyone because its just not me. LOL its more of a reminder of what i don't want to be. I don't even think I really finished it, i was too mad or something. LOL Anyway.......here you go.


I have to say this
I have to say it aloud
I know you dont care
but i have to get it out.

Some days i am fine
some days its okay
sometimes there is a silver lining
today is not that day

I miss you so much
but i don't think you miss me
i miss your laugh and our jokes
you don't care you don't see

Its all so muddy
and clouded in my head
i feel too lost to face it
I want to run away instead

How can i still love you
after all that you have done
I know i have made mistakes too
but i always though you were the one

I thought time was the key
I thought we needed to grow
but in an effort to heal things...
I guess we reap what we sew

I am broken with out you
i miss you so much
I hate you though
you hurt me more than anyone

How do i let you go
How do i say goodbye
the process is too slow
it makes me want to die

at least that would heal faster
than dealing day to day
i don't want to hide
there must be a better way

I just want what was promised
I want to have it all
i threw caution to the wind
just so i could fall

Flat on my face
thats where i am now
crying in my sleep
and dreaming of how

good it felt to be okay
how good it felt to live
how good it felt to love
how good it felt to give

and I gave, and i gave
and you didn't give a fuck
you turned me into a cliche
now I'm the one who's fucked

it doesn't seem fair
i gave you my all
how could you do this to me
you just wanted to see me crawl

crawl on my knees
and beg you to stay
i would never have hurt you
out of spite that way

I wanted to beg you
wanted to plea
but you wanted it to be my fault
and you wanted to trick me

into staying with you
or else you would tell
all ive trusted you with...
what did you expect to sell?

I wanted to be with you
because I love you
not out of fear that
you would say things untrue

You tried to make me
someone i am not
tried to vilify me
its not fair, its not

because i gave you my world
i gave you every fucking thing
all to have it thrown in my face
thats what i get for trying

to settle you down
and make myself your wife
to be the mother of your kids
to make us a life

why does it hurt so bad
why cant i move on
you chose this path for us
it all just seems wrong

happy endings don't exist
its all a bullshit lie
i will never do this again
i would sooner die

because pain this great
could not be survived twice
i cannot bear it again
would rather be alone till i die

i just want it to stop
i want to move on
i want to love someone else
and I want to be strong

i fucking hate you
how could you do this
how do you sleep at night
what did i miss?

i don't even know you...

[CaliforniaPeggy]

22. My dear stewartcolbert08...

My god, girl!

This is really quite good! You should pursue writing in a serious way, and I mean that...

And I'm so sorry for your loss. Your grief and anger and sense of betrayal come across very vividly.

Thank you for sharing!

And I'm the same: my best stuff gets written when I'm in the grip of supreme anger, or joy or whatever...

I have to be really emotional and then it works.

:hug:

[stewartcolbert08]

33. LOL really?

Thanks! I really do appreciate that! I thought if nothing else it would help you see what you DONT want to sound like HEHE! LOL Thank you very much for the compliment! It made my day! ;-)

[CaliforniaPeggy]

34. And you know I meant it!

I always say what I mean...

Glad I made your day, sweetie!

I'm going to fetch the link to my new poem, so you can see...BRB!

Have a look, and I hope you enjoy...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8629569

[Heidi]

23. After exercising an appropriate amount of self-discipline and still being stuck,

Peggy, that's a good time to put the poem aside and work on something else (or nothing at all) for a while. While I don't believe in creating art only when I "feel like it" (self-discipline is important) I know from experience that it's good sometimes to give creativity a rest and come back to it later with fresh eyes. :hi:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

24. My dear Heidi!

Absolutely! You are so wise for being so young...

I have done that too, and it nearly always helps...

I had done that with the poem I erased, and it still looked terrible.

So, last night, I erased it, and started over, with fresh passion. I haven't looked at it yet today, but I will...I'm on my laptop now, and my poem is on my desktop...

Great to see you today!

:hi:

[Heidi]

27. You don't write your poetry longhand?

I dunno why, but this surprises me. One of my favorite artists, Cy Twombly, said something once about "the sensual act of handwriting." If you'd like I'll look up the quote for you in my "Twombly at DAROS" book. You have lovely handwriting. Have you tried writing your poetry longhand? :hug:

Go get 'em! :hug:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

28. Nope, I have never written my stuff longhand...

I've had to, in my poetry class and in workshops...

But it's hard. I find my thinking moves too quickly for my handwriting to keep up with it! Thank you, sweetie, for the lovely compliment on my handwriting...:hug:

I'd love to see the quote, if it's not too much trouble...

Your help means the world to me...:loveya:

[Heidi]

29. I'll look for the quote tomorrow morning.

Here's a thought about computer vs. longhand for writing: writing longhand forces one to really think, to really choose the essential words because erasing/striking out in longhand is more time consuming and still leaves a mark. There's value and character in those scratches, strike-throughs and erasure marks; they're sensual marks of the process and works of art in their own right. Of course, that's only my opinion and my personal practice, but there are many, many great artists of a variety of artistic disciplines (music, poetry, short stories, novels, painters, sculpture) who agree and work out their premises first by hand. Think of a poetry journal like I think of my sketchbooks. Just an idea. :)

[CaliforniaPeggy]

30. Tomorrow is plenty soon enough, and I thank you!

As to writing longhand: I see what you're saying, but...!

I find when I do that sort of editing, it's confusing to my poor old brain. I need a clean fresh surface to write on...

If I have to look past what I just crossed out, then my mind isn't free to think of something new...

I'm glad it works for you, sweetie!

:hug:

[tekisui]

25. You should write a poem on the difficulties of writing a poem.

:)

[CaliforniaPeggy]

26. My dear tekisui!

LOL!

I should!

:rofl:

Thanks, sweetie...

[tigereye]

31. it's all part of the process...

[CaliforniaPeggy]

32. My dear tigereye...

Indeed it is...

But I can still pitch a fit! ;)

[Xipe Totec]

35. Editing is hard

I spent half a day reviewing my writing, and took out a comma.

I spent the rest of the day reviewing the change, and put the comma back.

Now, I am exhausted...

I wish I could remember who's quip that was... :hi:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

37. My dear Xipe Totec...

Aw, sweetie...yeah, editing is hard!

Some days it goes well, and some days it doesn't...

Thanks!

:pals:

[EFerrari]

41. I used to think editing was hard.

It's very easy when it's for other people. In the sense of overlooking a "mistake", it is hard. But, that's not really true when you edit a poem that you've written.

I used to agonize over editing my poems. But really, editing a poem is a lot easier if you think of it as uncovering something that is already there. You can't destroy it by finding it. :)

[PaddyBlueEyes]

36. Hey Pegs....

can you write a poem..about a knucklehead who has a few too many pints and jamesons shots, and calls some poor man and threatens to injure him?

[CaliforniaPeggy]

38. My dear Paddy!

I read about your misadventures, sweetie...

Oh, boy...

I think those adventures are beyond my capacity, alas...

:hug:

[Amerigo Vespucci]

39. I once wrote a poem about pulling teeth. It was set in Nantucket...

...and needless to say, it was rather erotic in nature. I used to write quite a bit of poetry until an editor sent me a reply to one of my submissions, with the warning "Send me ONE MORE POEM about Nantucket and I will come to your house and beat you like a red-headed step child...from NANTUCKET! Don't forget...I know where you live!"

Sad to say, that was the end of my "Nantucket" series (well, for that magazine anyway. There are a LOT of magazines out there).

:rofl:

:toast:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

40. My dear Amerigo Vespucci!

Oh, you are very naughty!

Good luck with future "Nantucket" poems!

:rofl:

:toast: