Well now, you'll never guess who I ran into on my morning walk.

[LeftyFingerPop]

That's right, this guy, my old "friend"...the rolling eye smilie :eyes:

I've hated this fucker since I've joined DU, and he knows it.

He kind of got a nervous smile, and tried to walk away, but I grabbed him by the collar and said "Where ya goin' pal"?

He said "Lefty, please don't beat me with the shovel".

I said "Now why would I do that, fucko"?

Then he started to laugh nervously and relax a little.

I said "c'mon, let's go get a coffee".

So we went to Dunkin' Donuts.

As he was looking down, enjoying a sip of his coffee, I beat the fucker severely with a shovel.

He won't be bothering DU for a while.

[mainegreen]

1. What? No sex?

I was expecting this to end more like:
'and you know, when I rolled over the next morning, there he was, in my bed grinning and rolling his eyes back at me.'

[LeftyFingerPop]

2. Are you kidding? He disgusts me...

his putrid color, his smug attitude, the crazy eyes...

[Heidi]

3. See now, it's posts like this that make me wish

I lived in Queens. That's where the _action_ is. I haven't seen even an _attempted_ shovel assault in my whole time abroad. :(

[madinmaryland]

4. Say what??

:eyes:

[old mark]

5. I never leave home without a shovel.

Never tell when you'll need it.

mark

[3.14158675309]

6. Like when a hippie asks, "Can you dig it, man?" you can say, "yeah, man, I can"

[old mark]

12. Funny. I was a hippie, and I have never had anyone say to me,

"Can you dig it?"
But if I did, I'd have the shovel.

So you see, what goes around, comes around.

Karma.
Groovey.

like, mark, man :hippie:

[ashling]

7. what's the old saying? ... ah, yes

THIS POST IS WORTHLESS WITHOUT PICTURES!
:eyes:

[Lil Missy]

8. Sounded like Psycho II, where Norman whapped the supposed mother over the head with a shovel.

Just swung that shovel into her head and dropped her that fast.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

9. Reminds me of when Big Dan beats that guy with a tree limb in

O Brother, Where Art Thou...

and it kind of scares me a little and I threw up in my mouth a wee, little bit.

Meet Big Dan T --
http://www.youtube.com/v/ZDd_ryixqyA&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0&color1=0x3a3a3a&color2=0x999999&border=1

[Aristus]

10. I'm going to beat up the 'hide' smilie,

...if I can ever find him...

[kwassa]

11. Never beat someone with a shovel, it leaves a dull impression on their mind.

from a song my daddy used to sing.