Euphemisms for sex

[crimsonblue]

I like euphemisms.

(Note to the mods: this isn't a sex thread. It is a euphemism thread)

A bit of the old in & out
Act of darkness, The
Adam and Eve it
All's well when ends meet
Backseat mambo
Baking cookies
Ball
Bang
Bash the beaver
Be in a woman's beef
Be up to one's balls
Beast with two backs
Beasty rendezvous, The
Beat cheeks
Beat someone up with an ugly stick
Bed boogie, The
Bed-pressing
Beef in yo taco
Boff your brains out
Bohemian cluster fuck
Boink
Boom-boom
Bone dance
Bone someone
Bonk
Boof
Bop someone
Breed
Bump and grind
Bump bellies
Bump uglies
Bumpin' fuzzies
Bunny fuck
Burping the worm in the mole hole
Bury the baby leg
Bury the bone
Bury the weenie
Bush patrol
Butter the muffin
Buzz the brillo
Carnal gymnastics
Churning butter
Clean her pipes
Clean the carpet
Crashing the custard truck
Cream someone
Creamin'
Cut the mustard
Dance the buttock jig
Dance the matrimonial polka
Dance the mattress jig
Deed, The
Dip the chip
Dip your wick
Dirty work at the crossroads
Dive in the dark, A
Diving for pearls
Do a lewd infusion
Do some ladies' tailoring
Do the chores
Doona dance
Drill for (anal) oil
Drilling the ditch
Drive home
Eat cauliflower
Eat hymeneal sweets
Eating the cream puff in the enchanted forest
Enjoy a flesh session
Exchange bodily fluids
Featherbed jig
Feed the dummy
Feed the kitty
Filling the cream doughnut
Fit end to end
Fit her clap flap
Five knuckle shuffle
Fix her plumbing
Flop in the hay
Fornication
Four-legged frolic
Front door action
Fuck
Funky Chicken, The
Genital exercise
Get a belly full of marrow pudding
Get a shove in your blind eye
Get creamy
Get into someone's pants
Get it on
Get Jack in the orchard
Get some stank on the hang low
Get oats from someone
Get stretched
Get your chimney swept out
Get your end wet
Get your hair cut
Get your jollies
Get your leather stretched
Get your nuts cracked
Get your oil changed
Get your rocks off
Gild the lily
Give a hole to hide in
Give a woman a shot
Give hard for soft
Give her a hosing
Give her a pat
Give her the business
Give her the high hard one
Give juice for jelly
Give pussy a taste of cream
Give someone a stab
Give someone the works
Give the dog a bone
Glazing the donut
Go belly-to-belly
Go fishing
Go like a rat up a drainpipe
Go to town
Goose someone
Grease her
Grease the wheel
Grind your tool
Growling at the badger
Hammer someone
Hanky panky
Haul your ashes
Have a bit of curly greens
Have a bit of fish
Have a bit of giblet pie
Have a bit of pork
Have a bit of split mutton
Have a bit of sugar stick
Have a bit of summer cabbage
Have a bit of the cramstick
Have a hot roll with cream
Have a joy ride
Have a nooner
Have a piece of tail
Have a poke
Have a squeeze and a squirt
Have a turn on your back
Hide the salami
Hide the sausage
Hippity dippity
Hit it
Hokey-pokey
Hop on the good foot and do the bad thing
Horizontal exercises
Horizontal hula
Horizontal hustle
Horizontal jogging
Horizontal mambo
Horizontal polka
Horizontal tango
Horizontalize
Hose someone
Hot beef injection
Hot dog in a jungle
Hump
Humpity dumpity
Humpty dance, The
Humpty dumpty
Impale someone
Introduce Charlie
Jab someone
Jiggle someone
Juice someone
Jump someone's bones
Knock boots
Knocking mops
Lay some pipe
Lie feet up
Lift a leg on someone
Light the lamp
Lose the match and pocket the stake
Make baskets
Make ends meet
Make grass sandwiches
Make her grunt
Make it
Makin' bacon
Making babies
Making whoopee
Mattress dancing
Mattress mambo
Mingle limbs
Mix your peanut butter
Mixing the baby juice
Mommy-daddy dance
Mount someone
Nail
Nasty, The
Naughty, The
Nibble someone
Nookie
Nooner
Nose painting
Parallel park
Parking (the car)
Parking the beef bus in tuna town
Parking the pink Plymouth in the garage of love
Parting the Pink Sea
Pass the gravy
Peel your best end
Phallicize someone
Picnic in the lawn
Plant a man
Plant your seed
Play at in-and-out
Play at tops-and-bottoms
Play cars and garages
Play doctor
Play hide the hot dog
Play hide the weenie
Play on the hair court
Play pickle-me, tickle-me
Play the game of twenty toes
Play tiddlywinks
Plook
Plow someone
Plug and play
Plug someone
Poke in the whiskers
Poke someone
Pop it in
Pork
Pound someone
Pot the pink
Pray with the knees upward
Probing the membrane
Professional wrestling
Pump someone
Put Percy in the playpen
Put the bee in the hive
Put the boots to someone
Put the devil into Hell
Put your root down
Put your snake in the grass
Putting a pickle in the hair sandwich
Putting sour cream in the burrito
Putting the candle in the pumpkin
Quickie
Ram someone
Rear attack
Ride someone
Ride the hobby horse
Ride the baloney pony
Ride the pink pony
Ride the skin bus in to Tuna Town
Ring her bell
Rock the casbah
Roll in the hay
Romp in the hay
Roughin' up the suspect
Rub bacons
Rub one out
Rump splitting
Rump work
Saucing the clam
Saw off a chunk
Schtupp someone
Screw
Scrog
Sew your wild oats
Sexercize
Shag
Shake a skin coat
Shake the sheets
Shoot the moon
Shoot your wad
Shucking the oyster
Sink it in
Sink the soldier
Slap skins
Slap some skin
Slip someone the hot beef injection
Smashing pissers
Sow your (wild) oats
Spankin' the cat
Spear the bearded clam
Stabbing the trout
Star-gazing on your back
Storm the pearly gates with your purple-headed devil
Storm the trenches
Stretch leather
Stuff the beaver
Stuff the taco
Suck the sugar-stick
Swiping the V-card
Take a belly-ride
Take a turn in the stubble
Take it to the car wash
Take the jism trail
Take the starch out of someone
Taking a break
Taking "old one-eye" to the optometrist
Taking the flesh boat to tuna town
Tear off a piece
Tell a bedtime story
Thread the needle
Throw a leg over
Throw another log on the fire
Throw the meat at her
Tossing off a batch of baby batter
Trade a bit of hard for a bit of soft
Train through a tunnel
Trim the buff
Twat raking
Two-backed beast
Two in the pink, one in the stink
Ugly, The
Up to ya nuts in guts
Uppy downy
Varnish your cane
Visit the Netherlands
Walk the dog
Wallpaper the closet
Water the lawn
Waterbed waltz
Wet your wick
Whitewash someone
Wild thing, The
Wind up your clock
Windsurfing on Mount Baldy
Wink wink, nudge nudge
Work the hairy oracle
Yodel in the valley
Yodeling in the gulley
Zallywhacking
Ziggy-wiggling
Zoinkering
Zwooshing the swoosh

[PaddyBlueEyes]

1. IBTL

[jobycom]

8. Good one.

[flvegan]

2. IBTL!!!!!!

[Pierre.Suave]

3. IBTL

[arcadian]

4. Rogering and smurfing

[struggle4progress]

5. Lowland jungles safari

[DeepBlueC]

6. "beat someone with an ugly stick"... no kidding?

In high school when we used to say "he looks like he got beat with an ugly stick" we just meant that he was ugly. Or so I thought ....

[Lil Missy]

7. I highly suspect a lock.

You knew that.

[jobycom]

9. Anything can be.

Popping the canned biscuits, changing the sheets, painting the walls, posting to the Lounge... Just about any gerund clause.

[old mark]

10. No lock yet?

must be doin' it.


mark

[Adsos Letter]

11. What...no "taking the log to the beaver?"

[Manifestor_of_Light]

12. It's what comes after kissyface.

It's called "screwyface".

I like "Doing the horizontal bop", myself.

[HopeHoops]

13. Dueling Bedsprings

[FarLeftRage]

14. How about...

IBTL!!!!!!!