Critique needed from helpful DUers on piece of music (or crap whatever fits.)

[originalpckelly]

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=8900...

I think there are some parts that are nice, but there are a lot of things that are still rough. I don't think the backing music works for me, except maybe the bass/bass drum. Needs other percussion too.

The vocals in the chorus are supposed to sound like childhood, hence their simplicity. Are they too simplistic?

[Tom Kitten]

1. I think the background vocals are a little too loud

but that's just me...it seems like the lead vocal increases in volume in order to be heard above them. A little jarring to my ears. It's a pleasant song, though! And not too simple, sometimes simplicity is good!

[originalpckelly]

2. I'll remix it later!

Thanks for your ears...this stuff can be hard to nail down sometimes!

[Tom Kitten]

4. It has great earworm potential

I can hear me now ... "Ahhh-ah ah! Ahhh ah ah!" Might I ask what type of genre music this would be? Because it seems transcendent...

[originalpckelly]

6. Thanks! I remixed it!

I think I agree with you, it's eclectic, as is my taste in music.

I fixed a few other things. I just finished it today, so it will evolve. I have this really cool thing I'm going to try with my guitar to see if I can't make a cello sound.

[DarkTirade]

3. I thought it sounded great except for one tiiiiiny detail.

So tiny that I only noticed because I have my good headphones on. The main voice gets a tiiiiiny bit flat on some of the held notes. It's almost imperceptable, but enough to distract somebody with perfect or perfect relative pitch.

I loved the simplicity, suddenly diversifying, then going back. It probably wouldn't hurt to experiment with some of the background instruments a bit, but don't be surprised if you end up going back to what you had originally. 'Cause it ain't bad.

[originalpckelly]

8. I might go back and fix it, I do have pitch correction stuff...

I don't know if I want to use it, or try to re-record the vocals.

I fixed the mix, so maybe that will help some, there was a lot of breath noise on one of the main vocals, so I switched it out for one of the parts that doubles it, and it sounds better. Was it in the chorus?

I uploaded it, if you're interested it's at the same link.

[DarkTirade]

21. I wouldn't do pitch correction, there's a very nice natural tone to it all now

and pitch correction might make it a little electronic-y.

[originalpckelly]

22. I tried it, and it didn't work.

I just don't like pitch correction stuff, I'd rather make myself sing better, and I rarely have intonation problems. I think it happened here because I'm singing in a really soft voice, which I usually don't do, and I'm not as experienced doing it.

[harmonicon]

5. it reminds me of the Magnetic Fields

... which isn't a bad thing.

[originalpckelly]

7. Well, thanks, I'll have to look them up...

I've never heard of them before.

[originalpckelly]

11. Hey, I like that sound...

They sound pretty interesting. Thanks! There's nothing like stumbling on to someone new!

[no name no slogan]

9. Doesn't sound enough like Fall Out Boy for my tastes

But nice nonetheless

This is the DU member formerly known as EmoBoi89.

[originalpckelly]

10. Well, that's OK.

I'm no Fall Out Boy.

[bridgit]

12. Background vocals seem fine to me, the harmony modulates & turns like a proper mobile...

The 4/4 keyboard is to me a bit pedestrian, and would imo be better served by 'coming apart' a bit as does the harmony in relation to the vocal; or in response to it. As for percussion; I hear what is referred to as: a jazz kit, no heavy boom-bap rock stuff, no wood blocks and such, no splashy, zippity doo-dah/Stewart Copeland cymbal rides; but light and airy like opening a window full of fresh air maybe not much more the brushes which could be suggestive of a light march to accentuate the remembrance of childhood http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uActYc6II0w http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrEi59ijbxU

[originalpckelly]

13. I know what you mean, though this is actually a drum machine.

It's a really cool one from the '70s, and it's drum sounds are very realistic (oddly enough, eh?) I do have a drum to fool around with, and with some tweaking, it can be made to sound as you said it should. I don't have a lot of money, and I live in an apartment. I'm doing this at home, so a real large set has been out of the question.

I think I could make a drum brush out of some old wires, I've been studying various different drumming techniques. So I know what they look like and how they work. I guess I'll try that and see it. I really have to work on the percussion sounds tomorrow.

I'm thinking of killing the keyboards. A lot of the background music needs to be worked on, the only thing I'm happy with is the intro/bridge/fadeout. I want to figure out a way to get bowed string sounds out of my guitar for this. I've been fooling around with lint rollers, and they work oddly like a rosined bow! It's a pretty cool sound. Maybe if I over-dub it a couple of times it will sound like a real string section?

I'll keep you guys posted on this song, if you want me to. I really appreciate the input, and I'm definitely going to use it!

[bridgit]

16. Hahahaha, I thought I heard that in there, the: Farfisa Compact Duo Deluxe?

Or something like it. The guys I knew that played them in bands used to call them Farfisa Combo Killers Yeah please do keep us posted, you've got a musical head and that's where it all starts. I have a friend that plays oboe/english horn and he uses a piece software for his composing stuff, all the sounds of the symph are duplicated and the thing even prints a score when you get it all where you need it it's pretty cool. Plus he says you can midi it all down into a more sophisticated sound/sampling generator for the really lush orchestral sounds for when you go into production.

I'll book this thread and ask him which one he uses

[originalpckelly]

19. Hey thanks!

[originalpckelly]

14. I may write a song to go with this that's sort of like that piano video.

"When I was a kid..."

It would work together, in kind of a musical couplet!

[bridgit]

17. You mean, Ethan? Isn't he a precious little/big guy?

He just kept on going

[originalpckelly]

18. As he should...

he's doing pretty good to start at such a young age!

[originalpckelly]

15. Oooooh, he's using a tamborine!

I have one of those! And sleigh bells!

This could so work! Thanks for the tip!

[originalpckelly]

20. I updated the song with this guitar part, where I play my guitar like a cello...

only I didn't use a bow, I used a lint roller. Odd, but I have to make do with what I've got.