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Tuesday Afternoon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-04-08 11:13 PM
Original message
Single People: How soon do you start telling the person
Edited on Thu Dec-04-08 11:24 PM by Tuesday Afternoon
you are dating about their faults and why? Are they deal breaking faults or just irritating quirks? Or is it just the plain fact that no one is perfect?

eta: How do you handle the conversation? What about the other way around -- if and when did the person you are dating start pointing out your faults and/or idiosyncrasies?
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ThomCat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-04-08 11:51 PM
Response to Original message
1. Do you really need to tell him/her?
Usually people already know. It's more a matter of kindly discussing acceptable behavior when you're together than labeling faults.
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Tuesday Afternoon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-05-08 12:00 AM
Response to Reply #1
4. not me.
I am not dating anyone. I have had it happen to me back when I was dating...kind of sucked. Just wondering if it has ever happened to anyone else and how did they handle it?
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undeterred Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-04-08 11:56 PM
Response to Original message
2. If you're interested in someone, and you bring out
a list of their faults, that will drive them away. If you're not interested, why bother?
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Tuesday Afternoon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-05-08 12:01 AM
Response to Reply #2
5. that was my thought as well.
we quit dating soon after the conversation.
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LeftyMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-04-08 11:58 PM
Response to Original message
3. Uh, if you immediately want to change somebody, you probably shouldn't date them.
Or at least shouldn't have any expectation that the relationship will go anywhere.
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Tuesday Afternoon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-05-08 12:01 AM
Response to Reply #3
6. uh...this happened to me...
and yeah, we broke up.
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LeftyMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-05-08 12:02 AM
Response to Reply #6
7. Probably for the best then.
That person either had issues or was just a douche. Sorry, but at least you found out before you were too far into the relationship.
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Tuesday Afternoon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-05-08 12:08 AM
Response to Reply #7
9. yes. He was a douchebag of assorted issues.
That did it for me. It is the weirdest feeling. I am done with it. I want to be alone, except for family. No more dating for me. It is just not worth it.
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Radical Activist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-05-08 12:54 AM
Response to Reply #3
14. I'm amazed at how may
women (I say women because that's the only gender I have experience dating) have the attitude that their role in life is to passive-aggressively change whoever they're dating into what they really want. I've had a few short relationships end quickly when I realized she took that approach to relationships.
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Orrex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-05-08 12:05 AM
Response to Original message
8. I find that an explanatory limerick is usually the best way to go
For instance:

I'm so glad that we happened to meet.
You're romantic and clever and sweet,
But I'll kick your ass out
Without even a shout
If you continue to piss on the seat.



Something like that.
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Tuesday Afternoon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-05-08 12:09 AM
Response to Reply #8
10. cute.
:) :hi:
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Orrex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-05-08 12:10 AM
Response to Reply #10
11. Glad I can help!
Feel free to use that one whenever you need it, even without attribution.
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Tuesday Afternoon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-05-08 12:12 AM
Response to Reply #11
12. it was the other way around...
I have no need for it but, thanks for offering. I am done.
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Orrex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-05-08 12:13 AM
Response to Reply #12
13. Well, next time make sure to lift the lid
Just kidding, of course.

From what I've read here, it sounds like you're better off.

:hug:
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