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Vicar went to hospital with potato stuck in bottom.

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Crunchy Frog Donating Member (1000+ posts)  Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Mon Nov-10-08 09:09 PM
Original message
Vicar went to hospital with potato stuck in bottom.
The clergyman, in his 50s, told nurses he had been hanging curtains when he fell backwards on to his kitchen table.

He happened to be nude at the time of the mishap, said the vicar, who insisted he had not been playing a sex game.

The vicar had to undergo a delicate operation to extract the vegetable, one of a range of odd items medics in Sheffield have had to remove from people's backsides or genitals.

Others include a can of deodorant, a cucumber, a Russian doll – and a carnation.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat...


I thought this was an important story to share.
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   Replies to this thread
   God no! Not a carnation!!!  tismyself   Nov-10-08 09:12 PM   #1 
   I only wanted my farts to smell like flowers  DS1   Nov-10-08 09:45 PM   #11 
   Sounds more like something the vicar's friend would do  Oeditpus Rex   Nov-10-08 09:14 PM   #2 
   got a hotlink placeholder  DS1   Nov-10-08 09:43 PM   #8 
      Dammit  Oeditpus Rex   Nov-10-08 10:11 PM   #16 
         worked  DS1   Nov-10-08 10:23 PM   #17 
         The Vicar of Dibley  Oeditpus Rex   Nov-10-08 10:27 PM   # 
            Ahhh  DS1   Nov-10-08 10:28 PM   #20 
         Yup thats the perp... though always thought David was repressed potato fucker as well. nt  curse of greyface   Nov-11-08 09:45 AM   #44 
   I heard that it happened in the rectory  Orrex   Nov-10-08 09:15 PM   #3 
   Well... It was obviously behind the organ.  Dr_eldritch   Nov-11-08 02:42 AM   #30 
   I think there's some important lessons in this for all of us.  Crunchy Frog   Nov-10-08 09:17 PM   #4 
   ROTFLMAO!!!!!  BrklynLiberal   Nov-10-08 09:20 PM   #5 
   Careful, that can be dangerous. Better heed the lessons of this story.  Crunchy Frog   Nov-10-08 09:21 PM   #6 
      "Doctor, I was reading DU and laughed so hard I fell backwards...  Dr_eldritch   Nov-11-08 02:46 AM   #31 
   Reminds me of this song:  AspieGrrl   Nov-10-08 09:37 PM   #7 
   ... dorsal fin?  DarkTirade   Nov-10-08 10:25 PM   #18 
   Bowling ball?  JVS   Nov-10-08 10:43 PM   #26 
   Thank God it wasn't Eggplant Casserole night  DS1   Nov-10-08 09:44 PM   #9 
   Hee hee. You love this thread, don't you.  bob_weaver   Nov-10-08 10:30 PM   #22 
      Just a wee bit  DS1   Nov-10-08 10:33 PM   #24 
   Carnation? How would a breakfast drink help?  HypnoToad   Nov-10-08 09:45 PM   #10 
   Better potatoes than kids.  ZombieHorde   Nov-10-08 09:46 PM   #12 
   There wasn't a deer involved  underpants   Nov-10-08 09:50 PM   #13 
   How soon before this is a Little Britain sketch?  supernova   Nov-10-08 09:53 PM   #14 
   Who hangs curtains in the buff? Someone could see you naked.  JVS   Nov-10-08 09:55 PM   #15 
   Maybe that's the point.  in search of sanity   Nov-10-08 10:27 PM   #19 
      What a pev! Exposing himself through the window and then cramming potatoes!  JVS   Nov-10-08 10:32 PM   #23 
   Was the potato a consenting adult?  bob_weaver   Nov-10-08 10:29 PM   #21 
   Either way, his friends will never call him by his old nickname Starchsky again  DS1   Nov-10-08 11:09 PM   #27 
   "hanging the curtains"  Canuckistanian   Nov-10-08 10:40 PM   #25 
   Only in the Church of England now...  mwooldri   Nov-10-08 11:15 PM   #28 
   sounds like an old E.R fable to me  grasswire   Nov-11-08 02:34 AM   #29 
   They always have "fallen backwards"  Mark Baker   Nov-11-08 04:28 AM   #32 
   yup  Skittles   Nov-11-08 05:02 AM   #33 
   One in a million doc....  Tripper11   Nov-11-08 05:27 AM   #34 
   I transcribe this shit all the time  buzzycrumbhunger   Nov-11-08 07:05 AM   #35 
   "I can't believe it happened eight times by accident, either, doc!"  Heidi   Nov-11-08 07:08 AM   #36 
   Where fools russet in...  SalmonChantedEvening   Nov-11-08 07:14 AM   #37 
   !  Heidi   Nov-11-08 07:16 AM   #38 
      I'll give you an hour to stop that!  SalmonChantedEvening   Nov-11-08 07:18 AM   #39 
   Raw or baked?  LiberalEsto   Nov-11-08 07:25 AM   #40 
   That's a silly question. If there had been butter it would have been easy to get out.  DarkTirade   Nov-11-08 08:55 AM   #42 
   Good thing he wasn't having zuchini.....nt  old mark   Nov-11-08 08:33 AM   #41 
   I'll bet that spud had its eyes on his backside for quite some time!  peekaloo   Nov-11-08 09:10 AM   #43 
   Gives a whole new meaning to Mr. Potato Head. nt  curse of greyface   Nov-11-08 09:46 AM   #45 
 
tismyself (499 posts)  Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Mon Nov-10-08 09:12 PM
Response to Original message
1. God no! Not a carnation!!!
NOOOOoooooOOOOO! Anything but that!
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Mon Nov-10-08 09:45 PM
Response to Reply #1
11. I only wanted my farts to smell like flowers
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Oeditpus Rex (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Mon Nov-10-08 09:14 PM
Response to Original message
2. Sounds more like something the vicar's friend would do




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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Mon Nov-10-08 09:43 PM
Response to Reply #2
8. got a hotlink placeholder
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Oeditpus Rex (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Mon Nov-10-08 10:11 PM
Response to Reply #8
16. Dammit
Okay, try this — the guy at lower right.
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Mon Nov-10-08 10:23 PM
Response to Reply #16
17. worked
no idea about the show :)

score a miss for me
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Oeditpus Rex (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Mon Nov-10-08 10:27 PM
Original message
The Vicar of Dibley
The guy is Owen Newitt. He's very fond of his farm animals.
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Mon Nov-10-08 10:28 PM
Response to Original message
20. Ahhh
I know someone who can give me the gory details, I heard that name the other night
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curse of greyface (594 posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Tue Nov-11-08 09:45 AM
Response to Reply #16
44. Yup thats the perp... though always thought David was repressed potato fucker as well. nt
Edited on Tue Nov-11-08 09:45 AM by curse of greyface
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Orrex Donating Member (1000+ posts)  Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Mon Nov-10-08 09:15 PM
Response to Original message
3. I heard that it happened in the rectory
Or was it the apse?


Maybe the pew in the back?
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The Doctor. Donating Member (1000+ posts)  Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Tue Nov-11-08 02:42 AM
Response to Reply #3
30. Well... It was obviously behind the organ.
Duh.
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Crunchy Frog Donating Member (1000+ posts)  Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Mon Nov-10-08 09:17 PM
Response to Original message
4. I think there's some important lessons in this for all of us.
She advised anyone tempted to use such objects in sex games to think again.

"It can be very dangerous and potentially life-threatening," she said.

"Surgery can lead to infection, nasty scarring, and it could possibly end up with the person having to use a colostomy bag as a result."

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BrklynLiberal Donating Member (1000+ posts)  Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Mon Nov-10-08 09:20 PM
Response to Original message
5. ROTFLMAO!!!!!Updated at 12:11 AM
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Crunchy Frog Donating Member (1000+ posts)  Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Mon Nov-10-08 09:21 PM
Response to Reply #5
6. Careful, that can be dangerous. Better heed the lessons of this story.
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The Doctor. Donating Member (1000+ posts)  Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Tue Nov-11-08 02:46 AM
Response to Reply #6
31. "Doctor, I was reading DU and laughed so hard I fell backwards...
His name is 'Gir', he doesn't bite.'
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lightningandsnow Donating Member (1000+ posts)  Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Mon Nov-10-08 09:37 PM
Response to Original message
7. Reminds me of this song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NuBomS6SEms
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DarkTirade (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Mon Nov-10-08 10:25 PM
Response to Reply #7
18. ... dorsal fin?
Owwwww...
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JVS Donating Member (1000+ posts)  Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Mon Nov-10-08 10:43 PM
Response to Reply #7
26. Bowling ball?
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Mon Nov-10-08 09:44 PM
Response to Original message
9. Thank God it wasn't Eggplant Casserole night
:crazy:
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begin_within (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Mon Nov-10-08 10:30 PM
Response to Reply #9
22. Hee hee. You love this thread, don't you.
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Mon Nov-10-08 10:33 PM
Response to Reply #22
24. Just a wee bit
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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts)  Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Mon Nov-10-08 09:45 PM
Response to Original message
10. Carnation? How would a breakfast drink help?
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ZombieHorde Donating Member (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Mon Nov-10-08 09:46 PM
Response to Original message
12. Better potatoes than kids.
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underpants Donating Member (1000+ posts)  Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Mon Nov-10-08 09:50 PM
Response to Original message
13. There wasn't a deer involved
every lame excuse I have ever heard (auto at 3 AM) seems to have a deer in the story
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supernova Donating Member (1000+ posts)  Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Mon Nov-10-08 09:53 PM
Response to Original message
14. How soon before this is a Little Britain sketch?
:D
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JVS Donating Member (1000+ posts)  Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Mon Nov-10-08 09:55 PM
Response to Original message
15. Who hangs curtains in the buff? Someone could see you naked.
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Sanity Claws Donating Member (1000+ posts)  Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Mon Nov-10-08 10:27 PM
Response to Reply #15
19. Maybe that's the point.
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JVS Donating Member (1000+ posts)  Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Mon Nov-10-08 10:32 PM
Response to Reply #19
23. What a pev! Exposing himself through the window and then cramming potatoes!
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begin_within (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Mon Nov-10-08 10:29 PM
Response to Original message
21. Was the potato a consenting adult?
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Mon Nov-10-08 11:09 PM
Response to Reply #21
27. Either way, his friends will never call him by his old nickname Starchsky again
:7
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Canuckistanian Donating Member (1000+ posts)  Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Mon Nov-10-08 10:40 PM
Response to Original message
25. "hanging the curtains"
Is that what the kids are calling it these days?
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mwooldri (1000+ posts)  Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Mon Nov-10-08 11:15 PM
Response to Original message
28. Only in the Church of England now...
:evilgrin:

Cue Vicar of Dibley...
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grasswire Donating Member (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Tue Nov-11-08 02:34 AM
Response to Original message
29. sounds like an old E.R fable to me
I heard one once about the woman who had shaved off HALF of her pubic hair because she was told that the way to get rid of crabs was to shave thus and then try to catch them as they jumped from the hairy side to the shaved side.
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Mark Baker (50 posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Tue Nov-11-08 04:28 AM
Response to Original message
32. They always have "fallen backwards"
and seem to expect that anyone will believe it.
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Skittles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Donate to DU! Tue Nov-11-08 05:02 AM
Response to Reply #32
33. yup
:rofl:
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Tripper11 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Tue Nov-11-08 05:27 AM
Response to Original message
34. One in a million doc....


George: So, did you get your new plates?

Kramer: Oh...yeah. I got my new plates. But they mixed them up. Somebody

got mine and I got their *vanity* plates.

George: What do they say?

Kramer: Assman.

Jerry: Assman?

Kramer: Yeah. Assman, Jerry. I'm Cosmo Kramer, the Assman!

Jerry: Who would order a license plate that says "Assman"?

George: Maybe they're Wilt Chamberlain's.

Jerry: It doesn't have to be someone who gets a lot of women. It could be

just some guy with a big ass.

Kramer: Yeah, or it could be a proctologist.

Jerry: Yeah. Proctologist.

George: Come on! No doctor would put that on his car.

Kramer: Have you ever *met* a proctologist? Well, they usually have a very

good sense of humor. You meet a proctologist at a party, don't walk away.

*Plant* yourself there, because you will hear the funniest stories you've

ever heard. See, no one wants to admit to them that they *stuck* something

up there. Never! It's always an accident. Every proctologist story ends in

the same way: "It was a million to one shot, Doc. Million to one."
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buzzycrumbhunger Donating Member (785 posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Tue Nov-11-08 07:05 AM
Response to Original message
35. I transcribe this shit all the time
Trust me--a potato is nothing. My favorites are the repeat offenders. :eyes:
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Heidi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Donate to DU! Tue Nov-11-08 07:08 AM
Response to Reply #35
36. "I can't believe it happened eight times by accident, either, doc!"
:rofl:
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SalmonChantedEvening Donating Member (1000+ posts)  Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Tue Nov-11-08 07:14 AM
Response to Original message
37. Where fools russet in...
:hide:
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Heidi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Donate to DU! Tue Nov-11-08 07:16 AM
Response to Reply #37
38. !
:spank:
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SalmonChantedEvening Donating Member (1000+ posts)  Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Tue Nov-11-08 07:18 AM
Response to Reply #38
39. I'll give you an hour to stop that!
:P

:hi: :hug:
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LiberalEsto Donating Member (1000+ posts)  Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Tue Nov-11-08 07:25 AM
Response to Original message
40. Raw or baked?
And if baked, butter or sour cream?

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DarkTirade (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Tue Nov-11-08 08:55 AM
Response to Reply #40
42. That's a silly question. If there had been butter it would have been easy to get out.
:P
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old mark Donating Member (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Tue Nov-11-08 08:33 AM
Response to Original message
41. Good thing he wasn't having zuchini.....nt
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peekaloo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Tue Nov-11-08 09:10 AM
Response to Original message
43. I'll bet that spud had its eyes on his backside for quite some time!
they're evil ya know.
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curse of greyface (594 posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Tue Nov-11-08 09:46 AM
Response to Original message
45. Gives a whole new meaning to Mr. Potato Head. nt
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DU AdBot (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Sun Nov 22nd 2009, 09:04 PM
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